Dogs, Death Animals Dangerous words

Dangerous words

lily - 30/08/2009 20:17 - United States

Today, my friend and I were making sandwiches at his house. His family's dog wandered over just as I dropped a large chunk of cheddar on the floor. The dog snatched it up and ran away with it. I yelled after it, jokingly, that I hoped it would choke and die. It did. FML

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Naughty boy

Bad boy - 21/09/2023 06:00

Today, I took my dog to the park. While chatting with another dog owner, my dog managed to steal their sandwich and ran off with it. I had to chase my sandwich-thieving dog through the entire park. FML

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So sorry!

Anonymous - 15/04/2025 15:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I took my dog to the park, and he ran straight into a group of people having a picnic. Naturally, he grabbed the biggest piece of meat in sight and ran off with it. As I chased him, I tripped and fell in front of everyone. My dog then sat and chewed the meat in front of me. FML

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mr_dinzaster - 30/05/2019 22:00

Today, a dog came into my yard. I bent down to pet him, forgetting I had a burger in my hand. The dog grabbed it and ran. FML

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zac545 - 19/02/2009 06:14 - United States

Today, I was looking after a hamster for a friend. My dog ate it. FML

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In my way

Anonymous - 19/09/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, I tripped over my dog while carrying groceries. As I laid on the floor surrounded by smashed eggs, spilled milk, and a bruised knee, my dog stole the bread from the bag and and ran off. FML

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Bad boy

Anonymous - 05/07/2019 14:00

Today, I went home for lunch. Upon opening the door, I smelled something horrid. My dog had opened his cage, eaten all the dog treats, and had diarrhea all over my bed and bedroom floor. FML

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FishFlingingMonkey - 22/08/2015 03:55 - Canada - Saint John

Today, I was eating and my dog kept bothering me. She kept scratching my legs for food, so I took a large piece of fish from my plate and tossed it out into the hallway. It flew right into my mother's face. FML

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Tasty!

Andrew Williams - 12/01/2023 06:00

Today, on the kitchen counter, there was a plate that had snacks on it. I decided to take a bite. I spat it out. Later on, my mother told me it was dog food. FML

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poorhamster - 23/10/2010 06:22 - United States

Today, I found my pet hamster that escaped yesterday, wet and soggy, next to my pet dog. My dog chewed it. FML

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Handful

Mary - 19/10/2009 01:11 - France

Today, I was walking my dogs when I noticed one of them had found something, and was eating it. After my command to "drop it" went unheeded, I took it upon myself to scoop it out of her mouth with my finger. After getting it all over my hand, I realized it was a piece of another dog's poop. FML

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xobeachbabe 0

Monday 31 August 2009 2:07

Be careful what you wish for!

Amysbodybetrayal 0

Monday 31 August 2009 2:18

Wow, that's what I call an obedient dog. Are you sure it wasn't playing dead?

F00l 1

Friday 4 September 2009 0:23

You get an A+ for being a bitch! yaaaayyyyyy

Benben47 0

Saturday 5 September 2009 1:49

So I'm guessing you're a cat person?

anonymous353_fml 0

Monday 7 September 2009 0:06

i hope this is not true. if it is true, you're a ******* bitch.

I_iz_epic 0

Monday 7 September 2009 2:32

Quit whining and laugh at the irony :D

jules_gd 2

Wednesday 23 September 2009 16:57

oh, the irony..

somename1223132 5

Monday 2 November 2009 4:56

Wtf i hope you mew pet pisses in yoi eye

bene119 0

Tuesday 27 April 2010 2:43

First

jerilynski 9

Monday 9 August 2010 11:40

i've never heard of someone saying something like that to a dog. do you say things to your friends like that? that poor dog ):

Tequila_Hilton 3

Friday 17 September 2010 7:25

not ur fault...u accidently dropped cheese, u bent down to get it. greedy dog hurried to get it and ran so that u cuudnt grab it. who's fault really is it?