Crystal Ball Cat By FML Approved - 31/10/2017 03:00 Now stop trying to touch my belly and just go away! I agree, your life sucks 465 You deserved it 128 Share Tweet Share
Today, it was the first time a guy has shown any interest in me by calling me pretty. I was so shocked that instead of saying thank you, I hid behind the nearest object and promptly giggle-snorted. FML I agree, your life sucks 29 685 You deserved it 6 079
Today, I was working the night shift when a guy came in smelling like alcohol. He kept muttering his order, so I leaned over the register to hear him better. My ear now smells of vomit. FML I agree, your life sucks 41 871 You deserved it 4 443
Today, I cut myself while shaving my globes. My girlfriend now refuses to stop teasing me about being "fisted by Edward Scissorhands." FML I agree, your life sucks 26 093 You deserved it 7 980
Today, I had a blind date with a really cute guy. Just when I was about to invite him back to my place for a nightcap, he took out a catalog of Russian mail-order brides and asked for my help in picking out the best one. FML I agree, your life sucks 31 036 You deserved it 3 453
Today, I got fired after three days at my new job. They told me it was because of downsizing. They were still interviewing people and had a help wanted sign in the window. FML I agree, your life sucks 40 808 You deserved it 4 887
Today, I was sitting at home when the police knocked on my door. They came inside, sat me down and told me that both my parents died in a car crash tonight. I started to cry, but about 10 minutes later, I find out they had the wrong person. I feel bad for the other guy. FML I agree, your life sucks 2 846 You deserved it 130