Sex, Awkward, Seduction Love Come to bed eyes

Come to bed eyes

marshmallowssss - - United States

Today, I just finished having dinner with my boyfriend, so I leaned over to him and said seductively, "How about some dessert?" Obviously, he didn't catch my tone, because he then looked at me and said, "Babe, you really don't need it." FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

KaiyaOtaku1 - 14/07/2014 23:48 - United States - Seattle

Today, while eating dinner with my boyfriend, I look up to see him staring at me, smiling. Hoping he wanted to say how lucky of a man he was who loved me deeply, I asked him what he was thinking. He replied, "You can't smell that yet? It was a noxious one." FML

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Clementine - 27/11/2012 11:36 - Australia - Saint Kilda

Today, I went to a restaurant with my boyfriend. After dessert, he went to the bathroom so I quickly called the waiter over and paid the bill, thinking it was a nice gesture. When he returned, he broke up with me for "emasculating" him. FML

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Awful line of inquiry

teddyissmall - 14/04/2014 06:29 - Canada - Montréal

Today, I was hanging out with my boyfriend. Everything seemed to be going well, when all of a sudden he turned to look at me with a pensive and thoughtful expression. I expected him to say something important, but instead he just said, "I was wondering, how does it feel to be fat?" FML

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Yummy

Cupcakes - 15/04/2013 05:11 - Australia - Queanbeyan

Today, my boyfriend said he felt like eating icing. So I baked him cupcakes, put icing on them and decorated them. When I handed them to him, he picked off the decoration, licked the icing and handed the cupcake back to me, saying, "I told you that's all I wanted." FML

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Smooth talker

Kate - 07/03/2009 18:36 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were out to eat. The waiter came and asked what we wanted. My boyfriend said he wanted a cheeseburger and I told the waiter I'd have the same. My boyfriend looked at me and said, "Are you sure you don't want a salad?" FML

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Say it

Her - 06/11/2009 20:36 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of two years took me out to breakfast. We were eating and he kept on staring at me like he was thinking of something really important. I thought he was going to say, "I love you". So I told him to, "say it already." Turns out he was thinking of a way to dump me. FML

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Andrew - 12/10/2011 01:11 - United States

Today, I was cuddling with the guy I'm dating and said, "You smell good." His response, "You don't." FML

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sarajj - 29/03/2013 21:36 - United States - Littleton

Today, I felt frisky, so I went over to my boyfriend's place, hoping to have some fun. I brought over a movie, and part-way through it, I started feeling him up. He responded by sighing, "That's really fucking annoying, babe. Cut it out, yeah?" FML

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Noname - 05/03/2009 02:18 - United States

Today, I took my girlfriend to a very nice restaurant. I thought it would be a good place to pop the question. I gave the ring to the waiter and asked him to put it on her dessert plate. When she saw it she picked it up, put it down and said "no". Then she started to eat the dessert. FML

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Prince Charming

muskogee - 20/09/2019 16:00

Today, my boyfriend wouldn’t stop smacking and slurping his food. I told him to at least chew with his mouth closed. He looked me dead in the eye, with a mouth full of chewed up pizza, and said, “No.” FML

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jackson7787 0

Thursday 12 March 2009 1:32

Ha, someone's not getting anything tonight anymore.

greenfairy_fml 0

Thursday 12 March 2009 1:50

damn, the stories on here about what guys say to their girlfriends make me feel really glad I'm single

KASHMIR_fml 0

Monday 15 February 2010 6:26

haahahahaha ouch

ipodlover1995 0

Monday 2 August 2010 8:21

YDI for being a big fat fatty

Coolguyt2 0

Tuesday 18 October 2011 2:40

All girls talking about their boyfriends on here are dating guys who can't even treat a girl right

PaulAlcohol 0

Monday 14 November 2011 6:39

I think #33 is dead on. I am a guy, but I used to be fat. comments like that hurt... but you can control your weight and who you love. Put the fork down and pick up some running shoes. Losing weight and eating right was the best thing I did with my life. And bt dubs, honesty hurts, but it's a lot nicer than him resenting you and cheating behind your back.

PaulAlcohol 0

Monday 14 November 2011 6:41

#63 Right on!

newburton13 26

Saturday 17 March 2012 4:18

No dessert for him then?

vtown16 0

Thursday 12 April 2012 14:49

bummer..

ReesieBanana21 12

Monday 14 May 2012 8:06

I dont get it

ReesieBanana21 12

Monday 14 May 2012 8:08

Oh, I get it now.

trudybable 2

Sunday 1 July 2012 9:43

major mood killer! but you deserve better

Jewbenita 0

Saturday 21 July 2012 6:32

well no dessert for him then, his loss. if it wasnt a total mood-killer, i would say its good hes being honest with you. my boyfriend does that, he wants to help me lose the pudge ive gained over the months, but when i'm trying to set the mood he mentions nothing about it :) maybe next time he'll know the difference between offering dessert and "offering dessert"