Intimacy Caught red handed

Caught red handed

scarred_sibling - 15/10/2012 12:10 - United States

Today, I caught my brother whacking off with my expensive bottle of lotion. This might not have been quite so disturbing had he not been caught with his entire penis in the bottle. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

LemonLearn - 06/10/2016 20:59 - United States - New York

Today, I walked in on my brother completely naked from the waist down. I wouldn't have cared if he wasn't masturbating using my lingerie. FML

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Privacy

Anonymous - 20/07/2019 22:00 - Australia - Brighton

Today, I walked in on my brother masturbating. In the living room. For the second time. FML

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Are you OK?

Anonymous - 01/05/2016 04:36 - United States - Bloomfield

Today, I walked in on my brother trying to stick his knob into a cola bottle. FML

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That's that, then

Anonymous - 12/09/2020 08:02

Today, I walked in on my brother having sex. With my boyfriend. FML

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Tanned

caughtorangehanded - 01/10/2010 22:12 - United States

Today, I found out my older brother put tanning lotion in the lotion I use to masturbate with. Now I have orange palms and an orange penis which won't go away for weeks. FML

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Dude, gross!

utensils123 - - Australia

Today, I discovered my brother likes to use our kitchen utensils to scratch his private areas. FML

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Perpetually F-ed. - 17/01/2009 14:25 - United States

Today, my younger brother and my parents were in my dorm room. When I wasn't looking, my brother opened the top drawer of my dresser (where I had a tube of half-used lube) and asked out loud: "What's Astroglide?" FML

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Anonymous - 25/04/2009 04:13 - United States

Today, my 10 year old brother caught me masturbating and then said "Oh, so that's how you do it!". He then ran to his room and locked the door. I inadvertently taught my little brother how to masturbate. FML

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ugh, why - 22/11/2015 05:12 - Australia

Today, I walked in on my brother jerking off to a breast cancer awareness advert. FML

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anon - 20/11/2015 00:53 - New Zealand

Today, I found my expensive lingerie I thought I had lost. In my 15-year-old brother's room. FML

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s0m3guy2010 21

Monday 15 October 2012 19:02

If it can fit in a lotion bottle, I'm assuming it was too small for you to see too much anyway.

cpucooler 4

Monday 15 October 2012 19:01

Your skin has been really smooth and silky lately though, right?

olpally 32

Monday 15 October 2012 23:15

Lol, sorry penguinbitch... Haha.. I'll stop! :D

smallshaft 10

Monday 15 October 2012 23:30

I haven't killed anyone! Don't blame me!

DerekCorbett 18

Monday 15 October 2012 23:58

And you wonder why the same bottle's lasted for years...

SWhimsynBubbaS 14

Tuesday 16 October 2012 0:00

No wonder your brother has been smelling so good lately...

Blue329 15

Tuesday 16 October 2012 0:11

Well that's an awkward situation

awebb21 7

Tuesday 16 October 2012 1:19

So that's how the lotion keeps on refilling itself

adelaz 0

Tuesday 16 October 2012 1:28

That's sad hi penis can fit into a cap of a bottle

ositoakaluis 16

Tuesday 16 October 2012 1:38

Dam I've been using the lotion wrong

amerikaninfidel 2

Tuesday 16 October 2012 1:46

Nice technique, I'll have to remover this one.

geod69 8

Tuesday 16 October 2012 2:25

Next time buy the cheap stuff

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I was having lunch and I started throwing crumbs at my friend at the other table. Then I accidentally hit the kid next to him. He got really mad and came over and hit me in the shoulder with a brick. A brick. He just had a brick in his bag. FML

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Today, someone finally told me that they couldn't live without me and that they love me more than anything. It was a student in my year 1 class. FML

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Today, our dog jumped on the bed while my fiancé and I were having sex, and let out the most horrific fart. My fiancé, like a gentleman, held my nose closed while he continued banging me. FML

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Today, I spent an hour preparing a heartfelt speech for my friend’s wedding. I stood up, got emotional, and promptly fainted, spilling a glass of wine all over myself. FML

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Today, I realized that I might be falling for a girl. She's fucking beautiful. She can't love me, I'm not good enough for her, and she's in love with someone else. Besides, I have a girlfriend but it never seems like we're close and I don't even know if I had a crush on her before, but I still love her as a friend and can't break her heart. FML

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Today, I got yelled at and called a pedo by a mother after I sat down in a swing next to her daughter. I was too embarrassed to tell her that I'm a 20 year old who really does enjoy swinging in my spare time. FML

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