Cars, Thief Transportation Broke ass dad - FML

Broke ass dad

anonymous - 19/03/2011 05:53 - United States

Today, I heard water splashing outside of my house; I investigated it, only to find my dad, whom I don't live with, syphoning gas out of my car. FML

40 102

2 978

Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

Friends

me - 10/11/2012 19:49 - United States - Bend

Today, my dad agreed to let me borrow the car to go rock climbing with my friends. He'd just filled it up with gas, which is how I realized halfway back home that one of my "friends" had siphoned well over half the gas straight out of the tank. FML

22 909

2 265

shakyhands - 22/03/2011 02:48 - United States

Today, my dad was stupid enough to think that the kitchen sink is a good place to clean a gas tank. Now, the whole house smells of gas fumes and I'm about to pass out. FML

32 758

4 221

Conked out

bummer - 25/11/2009 00:44 - United States

Today, I went to drive my mom's car for a change. It wouldn't start, so I open the hood. Someone had stolen the battery. I go to start my own car so I can drive to the police station to report the theft, and discover someone siphoned off my gas. FML

31 741

2 185

Home Improvement

coius - 29/11/2020 01:03 - United States - Lincoln

Today, our washing machine broke and dumped around 100 gallons onto the floor. My dad had installed crappy water valves and we couldn’t turn off the water. I called my dad and he accused me of lying. His “repairs” have now caused 5 major disasters in our home due to his shoddy and cheap work. FML

1 055

321

yessssir - 09/03/2010 02:24 - United States

Today, I returned home from a 2-day trip. Before I left, I told my brother to move my car across the street when the street cleaner passes by. Turns out, he used all my gas and got so wasted he forgot to move my car. I got a big ticket that he said he'd pay for. He's unemployed and lives off me. FML

25 891

4 948

Anonymous - 15/12/2011 15:49 - United States

Today, realizing how poor I am, I decided to steal gas. The only place I was brave enough to steal from was my parents' lawn mower. FML

11 025

38 470

Well Well Well

no good deed... etc - 16/10/2017 04:30

Today, I tried to surprise my mom and wash her car while she was away. Today, I also found out how gross our well water is. The car looks worse than before. FML

2 950

411

Boltz719 - 23/08/2009 05:10 - United States

Today, I was at my grandfather's house and my car was low on gas. He said I could put some of his gas in my car. He accidentally gave me the wrong tank to pump it out of, and I put fuel in my car that he uses for his small plane. It never ran better until the engine exploded. FML

36 585

3 883

Niles - 20/03/2012 17:46 - Canada - North Vancouver

Today, I was taking a shower, when my dad decided to turn off the water to the house, run upstairs, and throw a bucket of freezing cold sludge into the shower with me. He wouldn't turn the water back on for 2 hours. FML

30 409

2 840

Smells like…

Anonymous - 03/11/2009 07:26 - United States

Today, I was driving past men working on the side of the road. There was a lot of water pouring down the road and as I slowed down to drive through it, a car sped past me, splashing my entire car. It was only then I realized it was a septic tank leak. FML

31 741

2 613

DarkJoy_fml 5

Saturday 19 March 2011 12:11

At least he wasn't sucking **** outside your house for gas money right???..........FYL OP

tmmundy 17

Saturday 19 March 2011 12:17

did you make him pay $3.50 a gal? or did you proceed to kick his ass?

disney_blonde 16

Saturday 19 March 2011 15:45

For $5 you can get a locking gas cap.

quadder 0

Saturday 19 March 2011 15:57

those don't do shit, a flat head screwdriver and a hammer and your in the gas tank

disney_blonde 16

Saturday 19 March 2011 16:38

Which would make a lot more noise than "splashing water".

t765234 10

Sunday 20 March 2011 4:01

With those supplies you could just steal the car instead.

shinydragonmist 0

Saturday 19 March 2011 15:46

you should have read the bible to him for seven hours

sabresrock 0

Saturday 19 March 2011 16:00

wtf

truehitman2010 0

Saturday 19 March 2011 16:24

chase him with a BBQ lighter

Nastysack69 0

Saturday 19 March 2011 16:49

I agree with darkjoy. woulda been funny to see that out the kitchen window. lol

quicheme45 0

Saturday 19 March 2011 16:53

Don't worry he'll be back.

sweetiffany 0

Saturday 19 March 2011 17:01

At least you don't have to live with him!

inthemillions 0

Saturday 19 March 2011 18:19

I don't understand how you would be able to hear that, also, why would there be splashing noises anyways??

Mokiikom_fml 8

Saturday 19 March 2011 21:20

You have clearly never siphoned gas out of your vehicle. :) I've had to do it a few times (to my car, not someone else's...), and let me tell you, the splashing noises are inevitable.

smoker316 2

Saturday 19 March 2011 18:31

Even Dads need gas too! LOL, Thats so messed up!

stroudie94 9

Saturday 19 March 2011 18:34

pull out a match and see how fast he runs!

1
2
3
4
5
6

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I was stretching on the balcony, when I heard my neighbor's daughter scream. She was playing in their kiddie pool and thought I was peeping on her. And now her parents think so too. FML

21 205

1 428

Today, while making out with my girlfriend, I got the courage to take off my shirt. I told her in advance that I had a sunken chest and she'd told me it was no big deal. Turns out it was, as she wretched at the sight of it, and then broke up with me. FML

1 110

126

Today, when making a delivery for the restaurant I work for, a customer shoved and yelled at me because she didn't get any fries with her order. She didn't order any, which isn't unusual, considering we're a Chinese takeaway and don't even sell them. FML

31 848

2 068

Today, my friend started his first day of work with me. I thought it'd be fun, but he's been putting on an obnoxious fake French accent and saying "merde" whenever anything goes wrong. Half the women at the office want his dick, and I'm still as single as ever. FML

47 438

6 002

Today, I discovered that my new boyfriend is the type of guy who, when there is a conflict, will just scream "I LOVE YOU" over and over hoping that it will solve itself instead of actually trying to work the problem out. FML

42 216

7 834

Today, I spent two hours making a cake that I'd promised my class for weeks. I boarded the train to school, but soon dozed off. A few minutes later, I awoke with a start and noticed a chunk of the cake missing and a homeless man next to me with frosting around his mouth. FML

30 323

8 539