Transportation, Grandparents Miscellaneous Badass grandma - FML

Badass grandma

yelyah - - United States - Tolono

Today, I flew to Florida with my grandma. She tried to go through airport security with a pocket knife in her backpack. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Bodyscan

Anonymous - 25/05/2024 13:00 - United Kingdom - Normanton

Today, my mother-in-law had concealed in her suitcase a kitchen knife and plastic bags of MSG, salt, and other seasonings (AKA unidentified white powder) because she doesn’t trust foreign food, and wanted to cook her own food on holiday. Airport security were not amused and we missed our flight. FML

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Always prepared

emasculated 10000% - 04/05/2013 17:05 - Sweden - Ljungby

Today, I was out with my grandma when a pair of very shady guys approached us in the street, hands in their pockets. Without breaking stride, she pulled a knife out of her handbag and told them they'd better keep walking. They did. What the fuck, gran? FML

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Jamaica? I hardly know her

Anonymous - 07/10/2015 10:58 - United States - Poughkeepsie

Today, my mom and I went to catch our flight to Jamaica. She ended up being detained and questioned, because she packed hairspray, shampoo, drinks, basically half the shit you're not allowed to have in your luggage. We missed our flight. FML

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thebickster - 06/03/2009 17:58 - United States

Today, I was boarding my flight when I got pulled aside for looking suspicious. As she was opening my bag, I said, "Be careful, I jammed so many clothes in there it may explode." I was then strip searched for my trouble. FML

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Enjoy yourself, I guess

Anonymous - 15/02/2017 01:00 - Spain - Las Palmas

Today, I went with my girlfriend to the airport for some much needed vacation time. We arrived on time but were stopped at the gate when they told me I didn't have the right passport. The plane left without me. My girlfriend did too. FML

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Ya - 10/05/2009 14:18 - United States

Today, I missed my flight because I was stopped by airport security. They found "small, suspicious, spherical objects" in my purse on the X-ray. After pulling me out of line, taking my purse aside and carefully opening it with tongs, they removed the bag of grapes I had packed as a snack. FML

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Need Clothes Now - 21/09/2014 15:51 - United States - Pendleton

Today, I flew across country to college. My luggage did not. FML

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Brooklyn - 05/11/2012 22:11 - United States - Newport

Today, I enjoyed a lovely family dinner, but my irritating grandma kept trying to buy my purse off me, and kept picking it up to look at it. When I got home I realized all my cash and cigarettes were gone. FML

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tampondealer - 09/11/2009 18:42 - Canada

Today, after visiting my mom, she stuffed a bunch of pads in my backpack so I'd have some at my dorm. When I was going through security, I was stopped and ended up missing my flight. Apparently the jumbo pads my mom sent look exactly like packs of cocaine when they go through the X-ray machine. FML

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Thanks, son

sucksforme. - 10/05/2009 05:05 - Canada

Today, I was supposed to catch a 4:40 flight to New York. My 5 year-old son handed me my carry on bag as I left the house. Turns out he had put his older brother's BB gun into my bag to "keep me safe." I missed my flight after I was detained and strip-searched. FML

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Doortje 29

Thursday 29 March 2012 22:32

Grams is protective of her grandchild :)

idontknowyou123 0

Thursday 29 March 2012 22:37

Bingo gets crazy somtimes... you never know if the bitch next to you will shout bingo or shank you...

CoolBreezeKing 8

Friday 30 March 2012 0:07

Your granny is a gangster, that's why she had it

TheBonzaiGirl 0

Friday 30 March 2012 0:09

I've done it too, 20 times at least!

Meowingtons500 18

Friday 30 March 2012 0:10

My grandma keeps a rifle in her kitchen. To defend herself. It's always loaded.

Meowingtons500 18

Friday 30 March 2012 0:12

38- If someone hijacks a plane using a toothpick as their only weapon, I'm pretty sure they deserve the plane.

GimmeFive 10

Friday 30 March 2012 0:13

Grammy's bangin!

iv651 9

Friday 30 March 2012 0:23

She sound pretty awesome

swimmersrok 0

Friday 30 March 2012 0:32

"Come on! Seriously Grammy?" "You never know who your gonna meet. I will protect you Jimmy!" " Grammy! You are like 90 years old and in a wheelchair! Get real!" "Minor details, Minor details"

Minnesota_Chelse 0

Friday 30 March 2012 0:33

Hahaha why does your grandma have a pocket knife?! We can barely trust my grandma to use scissors by herself!

miz_kamakazi 11

Friday 30 March 2012 0:34

Grandma will shank someone!!!

MexicanObama 15

Friday 30 March 2012 0:36

Nigga granny gonna stab some hoes up

swimmersrok 0

Friday 30 March 2012 19:27

Wow. You took a funny FML and just ruined it for me. Great job. (in case you can't tell, im being sarcastic and ur bs comment is nothing to be proud of.)

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I learned that working while taking muscle relaxers is not as fun as it sounds. FML

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Today, at work, we were told by Wells Fargo that we'll be training our foreign replacements from India. After we train them, we're gone. FML

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Today, my friend told me men can't be trusted. I told her that wasn't true; I have my husband's password to his email but I never check it because I trust him. She bet me he was doing something bad, and to prove her wrong I looked. Turns out he has been cheating on me for 8 months. FML

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Today, I blocked my landlord on social media messengers because he wouldn't stop trying to get with me, while living in a house with him, his wife, and kids. I wasn't interested, and wanted to be respectful and protect my living situation. My disinterest upset him. I now have until next month to move out. FML

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Today, my family and I were decorating the Christmas tree. It seemed a bit unstable, but we decorated it without any problems. Later, while my daughter sat by the tree, it began to fall. Her grandmother stopped the tree from hitting her. I, on the other hand, screamed like a little girl. I'm a 38 year-old guy. FML

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Today, I took my grandmother for a spin in my new car. Apparently, she had no idea that seat-warmers exist and that hers was turned on, because fifteen minutes into the ride she started shouting, "My ass is on fire!" causing me to swerve into a pole. FML

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