Wanker Intimacy Alexa, play "****** Addict" by Buzzcocks - FML

Alexa, play "****** Addict" by Buzzcocks

Nuttjacob - - United States

Today, I found out the hard way that you can get carpal tunnel from masturbating. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

SirEBC 7

Monday 28 February 2011 9:28

Ahhhhhh, I get it. The HARD way. :D

felipe87 2

Monday 28 February 2011 9:19

that's why I have carpel tunnel! thanks op

Mitch_Connor 11

Monday 28 February 2011 23:37

Pfft, lightweight.

guppy40000 0

Tuesday 1 March 2011 1:05

how much do you do it? Holy crap. Also if you use a computer keyboard or mouse a lot, that could be a factor as well.

procrastibating 0

Tuesday 1 March 2011 1:17

So uh whats your hands name?

FamiliarStranger 2

Tuesday 1 March 2011 1:23

Wow... i'm in trouble

waldofarmboy 0

Tuesday 1 March 2011 2:17

haha HARD way

SassiestLemon 2

Tuesday 1 March 2011 4:00

I completely agree 63.

Blican 0

Tuesday 1 March 2011 5:26

Wow

Brokencydesgirl 0

Tuesday 1 March 2011 5:28

So sorry to hear that XD

MileyCyrusIsHot 5

Tuesday 1 March 2011 5:51

ew

alex1432 9

Tuesday 1 March 2011 7:42

That's why you buy a fleshlight.

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Love Coworkers Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Jealousy Underwear Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I had to have a very difficult and awkward conversation with my best friend about her fiancé hitting on me. She seemed completely unfazed and ended up admitting that a three-way with me was actually her idea, but she didn't want to "weird me out" by asking me about it. FML

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Today, I was riding my bike, when I saw a large dog sitting in front of a house. I started to really crank the pedals, figuring that by the time it saw me, I'd be long gone. My chain popped off, I lost control and crashed onto the side of the road. The dog hadn't moved. It was a statue. FML

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Today, a friend came over to meet my new dog. The dog got excited and accidentally peed on him. I went to the kitchen to get something to clean it up. When I came back, my new dog was covered in my friend's pee. My friend claimed that peeing on my dog "showed dominance." FML

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Today, my wife mentioned that she wanted to give me a three-way. I was ecstatic, until she opened her right hand, only to reveal a 3-way lightbulb. FML

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Today, I found out that a female colleague thinks that because I got a vasectomy, I "got my balls chopped off." Then again, this woman also believes the cracks in her front brick fence are because her house is built on the equator. FML

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Today, while working at a restaurant, an elderly lady stuck my tip in my back pocket as I was walking away. I wish I knew this before I'd thrown her to the floor for touching my hiney. FML

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