Your everyday life stories

b - 13/05/2016 16:30 - United States - Fond Du Lac

Today, I had terrible cramps so I stayed home. A few hours into the school day my friends text me pictures of a promposal with donuts and music.. They told me it was for me but since I wasn't there they all are the donuts and celebrated it without me. FML.

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Hamson05 - 13/05/2016 16:13 - United States - San Francisco

I went to my sister's wedding. During the ceremony, I saw this handsome guy so I decided to flirt. I went up to him and told him I thought he was very handsome and that I would like to get to know more about him. He looked at me, smile and said "look how much you've grown, I'm your half brother".

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sleeping alone - 13/05/2016 16:07 - Malaysia - Petaling Jaya

Today, my wife kicked me out of our room. To sleep in the hall. Because she didn,t want me to wake her with my alarm tomorrow morning. I work and she doesn't. FML.

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doglover1818 - 13/05/2016 15:45 - United States - Branford

Today, I saw a flying bug. I ran. I fell. Now I am in the hospital with a broken ankle and a swollen wrist. FML.

Messedup - 13/05/2016 15:09 - United States - Cleveland

Today, it's been 20 days since I've last been employeed. I quit my old job for a new amazing one. My old job threatened to press charges if I continued my employement there so I was forced to resign. FML

HistoryMajor - 13/05/2016 14:46 - Australia

Today, I just finished my major essay for my ancient history unit. It was a week late because I had to order in books to use as sources from another campus and then read all of them to find my references. The deadline was the exact minute that I finished. This is worth 30% of my grade. FML.

ripepeaches - 13/05/2016 14:41

Today, my cat puked on the bed right as my boyfriend and I were falling asleep. He immediately gets up and starts fake gagging until I clean up the vomit and lay a towel over the bed. He suggested I change sheets and when I didn't he gave me back my apartment key and slept on the couch. FML

Anonymous - 13/05/2016 14:25 - United Kingdom - Birmingham

Today, I met with my new supervisor at Uni, he asked to see the current work I'm doing. He declared it very necessary but boring and decided I should start something entirely new. In 2 months my old supervisor comes back. He will expect the first project to be finished. FML.

sadblufly - 13/05/2016 14:12 - United States - Bowling Green

Today, I no longer have to pay to get my lip pierced because my roommates cat decided to do it for me. I'm allergic to cats. FML

FastTurtle9 - 13/05/2016 14:11 - United States - Kirkland

Today, I realized that I'm so goddamn lazy that my body has trained itself to have to go to the bathroom when I start doing physical labor. FML

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thonya - 13/05/2016 14:10 - Iceland - Reykjav?k

Today, I went out driving with my ex to talk things over. We ended up finding a secluded place to fuck and did so on the hood of my car until the police came and turned on the floodlights of their car, asked what we were doing and then told us to have fun. We didn't continue after that. FML

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FastTurtle9 - 13/05/2016 14:06 - United States - Kirkland

Today, my boss, who is my sister, called me into work on my day off so that I could cover her at the end of her shift. When I got there, she already had someone covering her, and I had driven 20 miles in a gas guzzler to turn around and leave again. FML

hoppla - 13/05/2016 14:04 - Germany - Berlin

Today, i needed to change my tampon on a public toilet. For whatever reason i managed to drop the new one. It fell directly into the toilet. And it was my last one. FML

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AnnaMuffin - 13/05/2016 13:53 - Netherlands - Leiden

Today, I got bit by a dragonfly while trying to save it from my cat. Yes. They bite. FML

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fuckno - 13/05/2016 13:43 - Germany - Roth

Today, i had my first day in a new class. i had to pick a place to sit and, trying to make connections, i decided not to sit at an empty table. instead i picked a random person and sat down next to them. this girl then decided to introduce herself by showing me pictures of her stillborn baby. FML.

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Angelrose2004 - 13/05/2016 13:37 - United States - Plainfield

Today, while working with my son on potty training, I mentioned going pee pee. As the words pee pee rolled off my tongue, I wet my pants. FML

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Best part of waking up - 13/05/2016 13:35 - United States - Spearfish

Today, I woke up early to check on my 5 year old as he was had multiple nightmares last night. Seeing he was ok I went to use the facilities only to step in a large puddle of urine. Guess he couldn't make it all the way to the toilet. FML

anonymous - 13/05/2016 12:26 - Netherlands - Lisse

Today, I was watching porn on my phone in bed when all of a sudden a sneezing attack hit me. In wich I accidently started streaming the porn on the chromecast downstairs. where my parrents were sitting with out neighbours.FML

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Notamused - 13/05/2016 12:13 - United States - Spring Hill

Today, I set three diffirent alarms to wake up for an exam I have to take. My bus comes at 6:28. I woke up at 6:30. FML

Celestia42080 - 13/05/2016 09:28 - United States - Plainfield

Today my brother "forgot" I was parked behind him in the driveway. He tore out of the garage and hit my car. He asked if I could give a smile, at least a little one. You hit my car. No. FML

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prdicek - 13/05/2016 08:38 - Czech Republic

Today, I tried to seduce my boyfriend. He however chose to "study" instead. FML

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now self conscious - 13/05/2016 03:08 - United States - Syracuse

Today, at my sister's softball game I wanted a hamburger. My grandmother said to me, in front of my students, "Lay off the burgers, you're getting hefty." When I told her my weight is the same as it was when I saw her she pinched my arm and said, "Maybe you're getting shorter and wider." FML

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anonymous - 13/05/2016 03:04 - United States - Syracuse

Today, my grandmother came home from Myrtle Beach where she was for 6 months. The first thing she says to me? "Woo, you've put on some weight!" I've put on two pounds in a year and a half. FML

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boogerssuck - 13/05/2016 02:31 - United States - Terre Haute

Today, I was talking to my crush. He told me a joke, and I tried to make this cute snickering face while laughing. I laughed through my nose, and a booger flew out and landed on his neck. FML

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MelHope37 - 13/05/2016 02:29 - United States - Sherman Oaks

Today, I got into an accident. In a rental car. That I was in because my car was being repaired after getting into an accident two days ago. Neither accident was my fault. FML.

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Anonymous - 13/05/2016 02:27 - Italy - Florence

Today I finally got some of my work on the front cover of a magazine. Inside the magazine credited my work to my ex boss... Who had bullied me out of my job at the end of last year... She's now getting all the praise even thought she didn't work for the company when I did the work FML

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J.C. - 13/05/2016 02:25 - United States - West Covina

Today, while I was at school my innocent crush asked me what a wet dream was. When trying to explain it in a decent way without it being awkward, she asked me if I've ever had one. My friend being the asshole he is said, "Yea, he thinks about you when he has them." FML.

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Anonymous - 13/05/2016 02:21 - United States - Cedar Rapids

Today I ran into someone who I used to be extremely close with and had been best friends with for 16 years, she averted me in the store but I proceeded to try to talk to her and she cut me off and told me she had to go. I saw her still in the store messing around an hour later FML

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Anonymous - 13/05/2016 02:12 - United States - Cedar Rapids

Today while in martial arts class I blocked a punch with the same hand I had dropped a huge TV on last night damaging the tendon even more FML

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Surewhatever - 13/05/2016 01:34 - United States - Orlando

Today, l leaned my head against my boyfriend's shoulder while watching a movie. He shoved me away, saying I hurt his back and he doesn't like to be touched. He also says this when I try to kiss him. FML

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I saw my teacher using her phone in the middle of class, so to joke around with her, seeing as we're on pretty good terms, I said: "Using your phone in class? For shame." She looks me in the eyes and says, "Would it be ok if I told you I'm arranging my father's funeral?" FML

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Today, my 15 year-old girlfriend called to tell me she is pregnant. Her dad is ex-military, and makes a point of cleaning his guns every time I go to her house. FML

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Today, my 6 brothers and I (a girl) were finally finding out the sex of my mom's baby. It's going to be another boy. FML

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Today, I found out that my boyfriend of 7 years cheated on me when I saw a sex tape in which he was in. He claimed it was from before we met. I went to delete it and I clicked “info” by mistake and I ended up seeing the date it was filmed and even the location. I still haven’t told him I know. FML

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Today, I walked out halfway through a much anticipated dick appointment because it became apparent that he thought my clit was located somewhere on my upper thigh. He kept rubbing it and moaning, "Oooooh, I bet you like that, baby." No, sir, I certainly did not. FML

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Today, I've always struggled with communication and such with my family, so I was difficult to take care of, yet I always held myself together, did my chores, and took care of myself. Sometimes I even helped them out, but now they’re kicking me out of the house, and I have nowhere to go, and I don’t know what to do. FML

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