You're fired

By jobless - 10/11/2009 19:16 - United States

Today, I got an invitation to the "Going away lunch" the company is throwing for me. I didn't know I was leaving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 736

You deserved it 1 997

I'll see you in court

By Goodbyefreeflights - 04/06/2026 22:00 - United States

Today, I got fired from my flight attendant job because I commented to a colleague how a passenger has the audacity to fly economy while sporting a huge Louis Vuitton duffle bag, and that it must be a replica bag. Apparently she was within earshot and reported me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68

You deserved it 959

How not to raise them

By Anonymous - 03/10/2021 14:00

Today, my son claimed credit for a money-saving scheme at work that belonged to a colleague. He claimed this to someone in very upper management, but when they tried to ask follow-up questions, he obviously had no idea how to answer, admitted his lie and was sacked on the spot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 006

You deserved it 444

Losing

By unemployed and bereaved - 25/11/2013 05:03 - United Kingdom

Today, my boss claimed that I've been lying to get days off because apparently nobody can be so unlucky as to have three family members die within a month. I'm just that unlucky, and suspended. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 716

You deserved it 2 833

Lock in

By Anonymous - 19/11/2021 14:00

Today, my boss told me I could do my university work as long as I served customers when they came in. No customers came in all day, then I realised I’d been so focused on my laptop, I'd never noticed I’d left the bolt on the door, so customers couldn’t get in. My boss sacked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 284

You deserved it 2 084

Brutal

By Bob - 26/07/2024 22:00 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I worked my job then went home to enjoy my weekend. An hour later, I was called and told I was fired, without any reason given. I can’t even empty my locker, as they'd said they would mail my things to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 517

You deserved it 74

Entitled

By WeClosed2MinsAgo - 08/12/2022 14:00

Today, I got fired. There was a customer last night who showed up two minutes after our closing time, 11 p.m.. She knocked on the door many times, but I ignored her and kept sweeping the floor. She eventually left. Turns out she’s the VP’s daughter and told him I was “rude and inconsiderate” to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 144

You deserved it 225

Before I forget…

By Anonymous - 24/05/2022 18:01

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me. My boss called me into her office and congratulated me, and spent almost half an hour asking me what our wedding plans were, where we might honeymoon, if we wanted kids, etc. She then followed this by suddenly remembering she had called me into the office to sack me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 287

You deserved it 88

Corporate

By crap - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was fired from my job for breaking my company's tattoo policy. I have a small scar on my wrist that roughly resembles a heart. My boss insists that it's one of those white ink tattoos. No one will believe me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 813

You deserved it 2 694

Sleepless in Saskatoon

By inolongeriismmm - 04/11/2021 19:59 - Canada - Saskatoon

Today, I was let go from a position that I spent 11 years pouring my heart into. I was fired for ranting in an group chat, after getting 37 minutes of sleep in two days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 949

You deserved it 497

Casual sexism

By QueenofMean2U - 21/01/2023 14:00 - United States - Freeport

Today, we found out someone got fired, and someone who was supposed to get fired, did not. I wonder if the boss is sleeping with employees, because all the men always get fired, but a few of the women haven't, and one cannot account for $30,000 in missing parts. I'm too old to finesse the boss like the thots. FML

I agree, your life sucks 769

You deserved it 148

The line must go up

By Anonymous - 13/12/2024 12:00

Today, my boss sacked me because I only sold 3 cars last month. He made no allowance for the fact we’re in such a rural location we only had 3 customers actually walk in the door, and I sold a car to all 3 of them. That’s a 100% success rate. What else could I do, drag customers in? FML

I agree, your life sucks 728

You deserved it 81

Adding insult to injury

By lol - 23/07/2021 05:59

Today, my boss fired me. Then later on Facebook, his public status was, "Finally fired the sumo wrestler!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 085

You deserved it 105

Breaking news

By Deedee - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, fifteen minutes before the end of the day, my boss asked me who I was training to replace me. He then said never mind, that it was his job to choose someone. I hadn't indicated that I was planning on leaving the company. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 386

You deserved it 352

The Hangover, part 26

By Fabuan - 24/01/2022 14:00

Today, while working from home, I was super drowsy after a heavy bar hangout with the boys. I took a call from a customer. Next thing I know, the call was no longer there. My boss called me to tell me they left a one-star review on our site, saying I fell asleep and snored mid-call. Yes, I was fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 258

You deserved it 2 058

**** management

By jobless! - 17/10/2021 23:00

Today, I tried to clock in at 2 pm, but the machine was malfunctioning and kept refusing my card until 2:01. Just yesterday, our manager gave a long angry speech about firing the next person who doesn’t clock in when they’re supposed to, “on the dot.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 062

You deserved it 106

You never know

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was fired for not asking a senior citizen for proof that he was over 21 and legally allowed to purchase alcohol. When I told my manager he was clearly over 21, he replied, "But what if he WASN'T?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 011

You deserved it 3 699

Never go public

By Anonymous - 07/04/2021 20:00

Today, I learned to keep your posts private on social media. Your boss might find your Facebook status updates saying, “I hate this shitty 9-5, I want to be on a beach with a margarita.” I got a call from him saying, “You’re terminated from the shitty 9-5, so you don’t have to anymore. Enjoy the beach!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 412

You deserved it 2 758

Line go up

By Francis - 25/10/2023 10:00

Today, I was fired for following my supervisor's directions. That is to say, I was told to take away contacts from our team to avoid metric drops. The client caught us both, and my supervisor simply threw me under the bus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 619

You deserved it 187

Overreaction much?

By Broke af - 15/07/2024 20:00 - United States - Riverside

Today, while at work in a medical office, I had the itchiest and most distracting bug bite. I went the supply closet and got an alcohol cleansing wipe to help cool it off. It worked great but I was then fired for theft for using what costs less than a tenth of a cent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 665

You deserved it 113

Punctuality

By Broke - 17/05/2022 06:00

Today, I came into work to have my supervisor call me into her office, then her telling me to pack my things and get out. Apparently, just because they haven’t been saying anything about you being habitually late for work doesn’t mean that they don’t care. FML

I agree, your life sucks 237

You deserved it 3 378

Today, on Asshat Bosses…

By need a job - 24/06/2021 22:02 - United States

Today, I was fired from my cashier job for "abandoning my post." I saw a man pass out in the 100° heat in front of our store and I rushed to give him water. Not to worry though, my manager assured me he wouldn’t press charges for the water I took from the fridge, but I’m still fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 887

You deserved it 112

Workers of the world unite

By Anonymous - 20/06/2021 04:01 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, the day before I was supposed to go back to work after I got sick, ended up in the hospital, and primary doctor put me on medical leave, I got fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 071

You deserved it 95

No warning

By lol - 19/09/2021 11:00

Today, despite leaving early to go to work, I still ended up late because some dude decided to have an argument with the bus driver, delaying us by 20 minutes. As a result, I was fired without a write-up. This was my first ever time being late. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 276

You deserved it 78

Dodgy reaction

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, I was fired from my job. Why? My boss didn't like that my manager and I are friends outside of work, and he thinks we are sleeping together. She's gay and I live with my boyfriend of five years. He blamed it on me wearing the wrong shoes three weeks ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 746

You deserved it 217

Unionize now!

By BanaNacakE92 - 10/07/2023 22:00

Today, after taking a much-needed mental health week off from work, I discovered I wasn’t on the schedule this week. Turns out, I was fired. Apparently, my absence made things “inconvenient” for my department, since they had to do double work due to my “selfish” PTO usage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 913

You deserved it 190

Free healthcare for all

By Thegout69 - 28/07/2022 02:00

Today, I lost my job because I fell victim to an incredibly complex phone scam. The hackers didn't get anything, but now I don't know what's worse - I can't afford to feed my kids, or I can't afford my chemotherapy for my my terminal cancer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 203

You deserved it 216

Shady past

By Anonymous - 17/12/2022 03:00 - United States - Maryville

Today, I got fired from the job I’ve been at for two and a half years, all over some bullshit charge I got 8 years ago. How did they find out? Background check for a promotion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 987

You deserved it 308

Get the message

By Anonymous - 24/10/2023 20:00

Today, I got a screenshot from my former supervisor's Instagram that stated, "Finally, I'm rid of these morons at my work." That's how I found out me and other workmates had been laid off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 731

You deserved it 128

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Embarrassing Health Gross Poopoo peepee Love Medication Mental health Miscellaneous Friends Birthday Mysterious Weird Ghosting Haircut Money Awkward Painful My ex Sex Art Cute Surprise Work Roommate Fire Neighbours Noise Games Weddings Suspicious

The Top

Today, I was on Facebook chat with my boss, talking about holiday hours. I had to go to my doctor's appointment, so I said, "G2G, love you" accidentally. Not only did he say it back, but he also requested a relationship with me on Facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 013

You deserved it 13 022

Today, my girlfriend and her best friend have been in a contest to see who can go the longest without showering. They’ve just hit day 22. They smell so bad, I can’t stand to be in the same room with them anymore. I'm really about to dump her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 327

You deserved it 275

Today, I have to listen to my flatmate complaining that ladies don’t shag him anymore since his dad in Saudi Arabia cut him off. Apparently, they show a lot of interest until he reveals his financial situation. The dude actually thought he was God's gift to women instead of a mobile ATM. What a tool. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 016

You deserved it 150

Today, I am babysitting my niece for the first time. After getting her to go to sleep, I felt a sudden urge to sneeze. My sneezes are loud as hell. Attempts to dampen the sound were unsuccessful. My colossal sneeze scared the bejesus out of her, waking her up again, and now she's afraid of me. What do I do now? FML

I agree, your life sucks 403

You deserved it 185

Today, I made a bet with my classmate that I would dare to play a weird song in front of the professor. I did, and as promised, she was supposed to give me $20, but she said it was just a joke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 209

You deserved it 357

Today, I have no choice but to move back in with my mom and her husband, who are still married even though he's responsible for the house fire that killed my two younger brothers in 2013. FML

I agree, your life sucks 514

You deserved it 77