Shopping

Classic toddler moment

By Anonymous - 01/11/2024 03:00 - Ireland

Today, I took my very talkative toddler to a grocery store. As we passed a woman in an aisle, my kid pointed and said loudly, "Mummy, why does that lady have such a funny face?" I had to awkwardly apologize while my face went beet red. FML

I agree, your life sucks 379

You deserved it 106

Dazed and confused

By Anonymous - 24/09/2025 09:00

Today, at the store, I went to the self checkout then dumbly tried to activate the touchscreen, without touching it. I stood there wondering why it wasn't turning on before realizing I hadn't touched the thing to turn it on, like I was going to get shocked by the screen or something. FML

I agree, your life sucks 159

You deserved it 232

Chill out, Cathy

By creepystalkerguy - 14/10/2009 18:19 - United States

Today, a woman yelled at me to stop following her around the store. We were in IKEA. The only way to get through the store is to follow the arrows through a one-way path. Apparently, no one informed her of this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 812

You deserved it 2 446

BIKES!

By Anonymous - 22/06/2021 08:01

Today, I’m doing the 5 km bike ride to the grocery store. As always, I'm well equipped: Shopping bags, shopping list, pen, sunglasses, hat, sunscreen, raincoat, tampons, tissues, lip balm, water bottle… Anything I forgot? Aaah, yes. Money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 944

You deserved it 307

Never enough

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I wanted to spend the day cleaning my room. My mom thinks that I was lying just to stay home, so she yelled at me to go to her shop. At the shop, she yelled at me for not being any help. When we got home she yelled at me for having a messy room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 227

You deserved it 3 954

Tight fit

By Janet is here - 03/06/2024 12:00 - United States

Today, I tried on a sweater in a store. It was a bit tight, but I managed to get it on. When I tried to take it off, it got stuck halfway. After several failed attempts, a sales associate had to help me out of it, while other customers watched. FML

I agree, your life sucks 191

You deserved it 494

Kids say the darndest things

By Chrissy - 14/09/2025 15:00 - Canada

Today, I was babysitting my niece. While we were at the grocery store, she pointed at me and loudly announced, “She says she’s on a diet, but she eats cookies in bed!” She wasn’t wrong. The cashier raised an eyebrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 262

You deserved it 170

This sparks joy

By Repethetic - 02/04/2015 12:20 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I was shopping with my boyfriend when we came across the most beautiful piece of Japanese furniture. When I inspected it closely, my boyfriend started laughing. Turns out I was making the same noise I make when I orgasm in reaction to a piece of furniture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 957

You deserved it 4 891

By Anonymous - 09/06/2019 04:00

Today, while browsing through Walmart, I slipped on a piece of clothing and fell backwards into an obese lady’s butt. When I landed, she farted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 988

You deserved it 299

Nosy nitwit

By Paladin Rayjack - 17/10/2024 02:00 - Philippines - Makati City

Today, at the mall, I ran into a lost, crying little girl. It was my best friend's daughter. She recognized and clung on to me. As I called her dad, some nosy lady snatched her from me and caused a scene, screaming, "KIDNAPPER!" As I got apprehended, her claim was she heard me say, "If you still want to see her…" FML

I agree, your life sucks 573

You deserved it 85

Let's pretend this never happened

By Anonymous - 10/05/2025 15:00 - United States - Seattle

Today, I ran into an old friend in a grocery store. We both went in for a hug, but at the exact same moment we both leaned in for a cheek kiss. We ended up awkwardly smashing faces together and then slowly pulling away, silently pretending that whatever that was didn’t just happen. We haven’t spoken since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 343

You deserved it 128

All dolled up

By Sheila - 26/04/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I ordered a designer jacket online. When it arrived, it was doll-sized. It turns out that I bought a limited edition meant for action figures. FML

I agree, your life sucks 114

You deserved it 489

Silver linings

By Jessé - 23/11/2021 23:01

Today, after going to the convenience store and getting my card declined, the clerk let me come back home with all the things I'd bought so I could look for money and pay with cash instead, so I went back to pay a few minutes later. Karma paid back the goodwill 3 minutes later by making me burn my left hand with boiling water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 880

You deserved it 247

The weirdos are reproducing

By pregz - 25/04/2013 00:18 - United States - Vancouver

Today, while grocery shopping, I was having such terrible abdominal pains I could hardly walk. As I'm 8 months pregnant, I told my husband we should head home. He thought a better idea was to run through the store and hide from me, hoping to induce labor by making me chase him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 233

You deserved it 4 400

Spotted

By Taylor D - 07/08/2011 04:40 - United States

Today, I went to Walmart to get some acne cream. As I approached the register, I looked in my wallet for the money. The cashier saw that I didn't have enough money, and before I could say anything, he goes, "Just take it, I've never seen anyone who needs it this much." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 225

You deserved it 4 516

Lost

By Sam - 17/11/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, my mom was on the phone while we went grocery shopping. Apparently, her phone call was more important because she just left me stranded in the store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 393

You deserved it 92

Classic mistake

By 暂不提供 - 02/08/2025 21:00 - Singapore - Singapore

Today, I realized I'd lost my wallet when paying for groceries. I had to put all the items back and leave the store feeling so embarrassed in front of everyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 442

You deserved it 104

I'm not a celebrity, get me out of here

By Anonymous Unknown - 15/02/2022 02:00

Today, I got locked inside the entrance area of a Walmart. I had to get an employee to get me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 745

You deserved it 183

Long ass

By Anonymous - 16/12/2023 23:00 - United States

Today, I went to the market and I was stuck in a long ass line for 10-15 minutes. To make things worse, in front of me was a guy bending down with his buttcrack all the way out. I couldn't eat anything after that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 379

You deserved it 222

Where is my mind?

By Anonymous - 12/02/2025 15:00 - United States - New Orleans

Today, I went to the store for one thing: eggs. I came out with eggs, a new plant I didn’t need, and a jar of pickles that I’ll never eat. At least the eggs didn’t roll out of the bag this time, especially now they're practically considered a luxury item. FML

I agree, your life sucks 127

You deserved it 454

Get it while you can

By ::Tracy:: - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, a young boy helped me carry my groceries home. He then asked me to sign his sheet to certify that he had done half an hour of service to the elderly. I'm 46. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 317

You deserved it 5 970

Social distancing gone wrong

By bananapie69 - 10/04/2020 20:00

Today, waiting in the deli line at the store, a woman stood directly next to me. I panicked and tried to move back to get a 6-foot distance, but in my panic I didn’t realize there was a stand behind me. I almost fell over, so I gasped super loud. Everyone looked at me like I was crazy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 449

You deserved it 769

Easy mistake

By Anonymous - 30/06/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, I accidentally left the store with a bag full of groceries without paying. I realized this halfway to my car when an employee chased me down, thinking I was a thief. Turns out, I had spaced out and walked out during a fire alarm drill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 173

You deserved it 464

Tasty

By Anonymous - 09/07/2023 03:00 - United States

Today, I went to the supermarket and picked up some groceries, along with what I thought was a bag of chips. I ripped it open in the car and realized it was a bag of birdseed. As I spat out the birdseed through the car's open window and tried to clean the mess, a pigeon flew into my car and attacked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 292

You deserved it 898

Let me out!

By Anonymous - 17/03/2023 16:00 - United Kingdom - Hastings

Today, I got stuck in a dress in the fitting room and had to call the sales associate for help. She had to crawl under the door to rescue me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 508

You deserved it 472

They don't make em as they used to

By Kylie - 22/07/2025 08:00 - United States

Today, I was at the grocery store. I bent to get some dog food off the bottom shelf and felt my pants tear. My jeans split right across the back seam, showing everyone I was wearing a pink thong under them. I had to ditch my cart and leave as I had no way to cover myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 374

You deserved it 147

Costco madness

By Anonymous - 27/02/2025 13:00 - United States

Today, my kid kept trying to play in the aisles at Costco and wouldn't listen when I told him to stop. He was spinning in circles when a guy with a cart full of sodas ran into him, rolling over his leg. The first thing my wife said? "Why didn't you tell him to stop?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 279

You deserved it 364

It's not what you think!

By Anonymous - 27/02/2025 03:00 - Canada

Today, I was at a store trying to buy a birthday gift for my niece when I knocked over a stack of porcelain dolls. As they crashed to the floor, a security guard rushed over, but before I could apologize, I heard a tiny voice behind me: “YOU’RE NOT MY REAL DAD!” It was just another prank by my mortified son, but it was too late to stop people glaring at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 357

You deserved it 119

Panic mode

By jessie nex - 01/06/2024 05:00 - United States

Today, I felt like doing a good deed, so when I bought something at a store I told the cashier to keep the change. The cashier then panicked and said, “What do I do???” Turns out, I was her first ever customer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 433

You deserved it 143

All thumbs, no fingers

By Hassan - 23/10/2024 22:00 - United States

Today, I was getting groceries and realized at checkout that I forgot my wallet. The cashier gave me a sympathetic look as I frantically tried to unlock my phone to pay with an app, and watched as I accidentally called my ex on speakerphone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 324

You deserved it 291

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I went to a friend's wedding, only to realize I'd forgotten my dress shoes. I ended up wearing my pair of Converse Chuck Taylor's with my suit and stood out like a sore thumb in all the wedding photos. FML

I agree, your life sucks 311

You deserved it 699

Today, during a major fight with my boyfriend, I threw a necklace he had given me out the window, thinking it was just a cheap trinket. He then told me, for the first time, that that necklace had belonged to his now deceased grandma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 979

You deserved it 92 041

Today, I was having a mass lecture, for 3 classes combined, all microphones muted. I wanted to go to the toilet, so I connected my headphones, and I did my job massively while listening to the teacher. Suddenly, the teacher said, "Oh, close your mic for the love of god." 85 students heard me taking a shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 955

You deserved it 2 149

Today, I got a speeding ticket. My speedometer got busted a few weeks back, rendering it useless. My father, a former mechanic, decided it's not worth the trouble of going in and fixing it. "Just keep with traffic when you're on the highway; you'll be fine." This $150 fee says otherwise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 166

You deserved it 28 803

Today, I took a drug test. Not only did I fail the drug test, but I mostly missed the sample cup and got urine all over my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 160

You deserved it 18 550

Today, when I saw a big box that looked like a playstation, I got really excited and my parents were there and everything looked like it really was something big, so I start to open the wrapper and surprise... it was a lamp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 955

You deserved it 7 009