Pregnancy

By HoboWithACondom - 31/08/2019 16:01

Today, my boss fired me because he found out I'm dating his daughter. Now I'm concerned what he might do if he finds out she's pregnant with my child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 698

You deserved it 752

Awkward conversation ahead

By IHateMyself - 21/07/2021 18:01

Today, my boyfriend returned from University after 8 months away. He says he cannot wait to see me. The whole half an hour ride to his home, I was shaking like a leaf. I’m still sitting his driveway because I don’t know how to tell him that I’m 5 months pregnant. Yes, I’m showing. A LOT. FML

I agree, your life sucks 252

You deserved it 5 534

Awesome

By Jadwiga - 27/08/2025 20:00 - Czechia - Prague

Today, when my boyfriend came home, I was crying and told him I was pregnant. His immediate response was, "Awesome! Pregnant girls are always horny and we won't need protection for the next few months!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 403

You deserved it 186

Parenting is sharing

By Stephanie - 12/03/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, as a new mother post-partum, I was overwhelmed as fuck. I hit rock bottom. I couldn’t get my infant to stop crying. I already fed him, changed his diaper, and held him. My husband smugly told me, “Why you crying for? You were moaning, “Nut inside me, Daddy” during sex. This is what you signed up for!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 497

You deserved it 352

Quack

By Anonymous - 12/09/2024 20:00 - United States - Elmira

Today, while at my doctor's appointment, all my male doctor did was talk about my weight gain. I tried explaining that I eat healthy and work out, and I’m currently 6 months pregnant with my first child, and have always struggled with body image. It makes me want to develop an eating disorder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 495

You deserved it 125

Such a helpful kitty!

By Preggers - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, my cat has taken it upon herself to provide for the heavily pregnant lady. So far I've been presented with a mouse and 3 birds. I know they're for me because she meows until I see them, then walks away again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 846

You deserved it 862

Narcissists never unite!

By bntje - 14/04/2013 20:39 - Netherlands - Holten

Today, my sister went into a blind rage at me for "upstaging" her by announcing that I'm pregnant, two months after she did the same. My husband and I have been trying for two years. She's in high school and doesn't even know who the father is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76 820

You deserved it 3 850

Great timing

By Carrie - 08/05/2013 05:41 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, my water broke while my boyfriend was breaking up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 712

You deserved it 7 227

Creeped out

By AITA - 09/05/2024 12:00 - United States

Today, my sister will be giving birth to my niece any day now. She repeatedly insists on showing me her heavily pregnant belly. I don't know how to tell her that I find pregnancy bellies repulsive without sounding like a dick. I don't even know why this is. I just don't like them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 503

You deserved it 166

Thanks for the self-confidence boost

By Tata - 14/04/2026 09:00 - United States

Today, I’m six weeks post-partum. I bought lingerie for the occasion and surprised my husband. It was going well until I took off my corset. He visibly recoiled but kept going to be nice. He insisted we keep the lights off because he “had a headache and his eyes hurt.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 387

You deserved it 116

Surprise!

By Michelle - 18/10/2023 05:00 - United States - Stormville

Today, the guy I was dating for over a year would only perform oral on me and never sex. I couldn’t figure out why. We grinded a few times. I got pregnant but couldn’t figure out how, because I didn’t have sex. Apparently his penis, hard, is the size of my pinkie. We were having sex, I just never felt it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 887

You deserved it 339

How can I make everything about me?

By Anonymous - 16/07/2025 03:00 - United Kingdom

Today, our pregnancy announcement was ruined by my dad who thought it would be funny to grab my boyfriend while yelling, "You got my daughter pregnant, boy! I’m going to kill you!" It wasn’t funny, there was just an awkward silence, and now this precious moment is something I’d rather forget. FML

I agree, your life sucks 469

You deserved it 188

No, you don't

By tianap89 - 15/11/2023 00:00

Today, I’m eating a salad with a sparkling water once again. I’m 7 months pregnant. My husband says he’ll leave me if I ever get too fat after I give birth. I can’t afford to be a single mom, nor leave the marriage, so this is the cross I have to bear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 842

You deserved it 284

Language, Timothy

By Anonymous - 30/05/2025 22:00 - United States - New York

Today, I saw my girlfriend after 10 months of being away. She was pregnant. She actually had the brass balls to tell me I needed to "Man up and be this child's father." Get the fuck out, you cheating whore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 796

You deserved it 72

The accident

By Anonymous - 27/05/2024 16:00

Today, I'm 36 and accidentally got pregnant with my FWB, a 28 year-old bartender. I told him and he broke down and admitted he’s actually only 19, an unemployed college dropout who lives with his parents. I didn’t believe it until I saw his driver's license, date of birth 2004. So much for child support… FML

I agree, your life sucks 213

You deserved it 1 044

Knackered

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I'm being admitted to the hospital for severe exhaustion. Why am I exhausted? For spending 12 hours at the hospital while my sister gave birth. The same hospital I'm being admitted to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 188

You deserved it 6 132

Rollercoaster

By thathoe - 13/11/2021 02:00 - United States - Cloquet

Today, I found I’m pregnant. I hooked up with my ex when my now boyfriend and I had broken up for a week. My ex doesn’t want kids. It’s most likely my ex's kid. My boyfriend has now proposed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 371

You deserved it 2 942

Poor planning on your part does not necessitate an emergency on mine

By Anonymous - 16/02/2024 12:00 - United States - Eagle Mountain

Today, I told my family that I’m pregnant. My sister is upset and refuses to accept she’ll have to help with the baby. I’m a single mom going to college and living at home, and will need help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 112

You deserved it 2 370

Bad grandparenting

By Anonymous - 25/12/2024 00:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my youngest, the 17 year-old, told me she’s pregnant. That makes it official: despite all my warnings about safe sex, all three of my daughters got pregnant before the age of 18. FML

I agree, your life sucks 469

You deserved it 376

Oh no, the economy!

By Barbara - 08/03/2022 21:59

Today, I’m 5 months pregnant. I really wasn’t feeling my best, so I called in sick. My boss responded with how my “selfish time off requests” are messing with the company’s production, and it’s not the company’s fault a “dude splashed inside me.” She told me to come in or “my kid goes hungry.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 055

You deserved it 335

The weirdos are reproducing

By pregz - 25/04/2013 00:18 - United States - Vancouver

Today, while grocery shopping, I was having such terrible abdominal pains I could hardly walk. As I'm 8 months pregnant, I told my husband we should head home. He thought a better idea was to run through the store and hide from me, hoping to induce labor by making me chase him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 237

You deserved it 4 401

Excuses, excuses

By paternity test time - 08/11/2022 22:00

Today, my wife has been using "pregnancy hormones" as an excuse for absolutely everything. Spills a milkshake in bed at one in the morning? Pregnancy hormones! Cries about a hole in her sock? Pregnancy hormones! Gets caught fucking her coworker? Pregnancy hormones! FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 206

You deserved it 258

I'm an empath

By Anonymous - 18/02/2025 15:00 - Belgium - Kasterlee

Today, after opening up to my husband about my mental struggles after a difficult birth, I shed a few tears. He left me there to go take a nap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 546

You deserved it 107

Trapped

By Anonymous - 05/07/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, it's been a week since my girl told me she's pregnant and I fled town in a panic. I realized how badly I fucked up and called her, begging to come back. When I showed up at her house, her brothers kicked my ass and threw me in the street, promising to wring me dry for child support. FML

I agree, your life sucks 123

You deserved it 1 136

Family portrait

By Anonymous - 29/05/2022 14:00

Today, I gave birth, but my husband was late and got here just in time to cut the cord. He was hung over after celebrating his impending fatherhood all night. He missed the cord twice, cut it, then fell over, and wound up in the bed next to mine, with a hydrating IV and a bashed head where he hit it on the baby's cot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 169

You deserved it 202

Gift ideas

By EmmaG123 - 28/02/2009 05:54 - United States

Today, I sent my mom an email with "Bad news" as the subject. At the end of her reply, she said, "And don't scare me! I thought you were going to tell me you're pregnant!" I AM pregnant, and wanted to surprise her on her birthday. Guess I should get her something less disappointing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 144

You deserved it 5 137

Genetics

By Anonymous - 29/09/2021 17:00

Today, my twin sister gave birth and somehow now weighs less than before she was pregnant. She also has huge boobs now and not a stretch mark in sight. Meanwhile, I’m still carrying an extra 15 pounds, even though I gave birth 5 years ago, and so many stretch marks I look like a fat zebra. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 539

You deserved it 355

WTF dude?

By marriedlesbian - 12/02/2019 16:00

Today, after a dangerous and painful emergency caesarean, I received an SMS from a guy I turned down for a date, saying he was crying and so excited to meet 'our' baby. I've barely even shaken hands with this guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 543

You deserved it 242

Surprise!

By Anonymous - 12/10/2022 02:00

Today, at nine months pregnant, I stopped at a truck stop to use the restroom. I opened an unlocked stall door and stood face to face with a woman bent over wiping. She let out a scream so blood-curdlingly loud that I wet myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 897

You deserved it 136

Fake News

By Anonymous - 23/11/2009 05:21 - Canada

Today, my friend called me freaking out because of an online pregnancy test. She was scared because she had no idea that she was pregnant, let alone having a fifteen-pound baby. The website is a joke. She goes to an Ivy League school, and I couldn't even get into community college. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 056

You deserved it 4 187

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Weddings Miscellaneous Awkward Embarrassing Music My ex Cops Drunk Poopoo peepee Gross Love Cars Transportation Relatable Bodyshaming Dating Crush Work Farts Money LGBTQIA+ Weird Cooking AITA Sex Health Family Vacation Intimacy Kids

The Top

Today, while at work, I started to feel sick to my stomach, hot, and dizzy. My co-worker told me to go home. On the way through the locker room to get my stuff, I experienced a dizzy spell so severe, I blacked out and pooped myself. No one in the building is going to let me forget this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 887

You deserved it 3 165

Today, I found out my girlfriend of 5 years cheated on me. When confronted she told me, "I didn't get wet so it wasn't cheating." FML

I agree, your life sucks 88 680

You deserved it 5 328

Today, my brother thought it would be absolutely hilarious to replace my cold sore cream with superglue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 875

You deserved it 271

Today, I'm constipated AND having diarrhea at the same time. It feels like I'm going to explode. FML

I agree, your life sucks 834

You deserved it 82

Today, I was at the gym trying to work up the courage to ask a girl out. She was on the treadmill, and I thought it would be cute to wave hello. Instead, she looked horrified and sped up, then slipped and fell off the treadmill. She thought I was mocking her, and now everyone at the gym hates me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 231

You deserved it 447

Today, it’s the 20th consecutive day of my ex blanking me on WhatsApp. I wouldn’t mind, but I hadn’t messaged him for over a year, and I’m just trying to collect some of my stuff he was holding for me in time for my Mum’s funeral, like my suit. He knows when the funeral is; it’s in 5 days time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 412

You deserved it 148