Porn

To each their own

By Anonymous - 28/01/2024 20:00 - United Kingdom - Oakham

Spicy

Today, I accidentally revealed to a close friend that I have a stash of furry porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 115

You deserved it 671

Broadcasting

By Anonymous - 16/01/2025 20:00 - United States

Spicy

Today, at 1 a.m., I had my headphones on trying to watch porn. I live in an apartment with thin ass walls anyway, and I didn’t realize my headphone jack had come undone. The volume was terrible on the video so I raised it louder, not realizing it until like maybe halfway through the video, and my window was also open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 147

You deserved it 588

Meddling

By Anonymous - 22/04/2024 20:00 - United States

Spicy

Today, I found out my mom has been randomly searching my room. I've asked her repeatedly to stop, but she says it's her right as a parent. In retaliation I started searching their room when they were out, and found porn mags and DVDs. I confronted mom about it. Long story short, dad's in a hotel. What have I done?! FML

I agree, your life sucks 370

You deserved it 757

Oooooh yeah

By omgwtf - 01/06/2019 04:00

Spicy

Today, I found out my girlfriend had changed my ringtone to some woman moaning with pleasure continuously. I found this out in the middle of a job interview when she rang me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 923

You deserved it 596

Rehab

By Anonymous - 06/09/2018 22:24

Spicy

Today, I went to a support group for my porn addiction. I was hoping I wouldn't recognize anyone there. The first person I recognized was my dad, and the second was one of my professors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 998

You deserved it 501

Tall grass

By Anonymous - 16/06/2011 14:43 - United States

Spicy

Today, as I was mowing my neighbor's lawn, I found the Playboy magazine he'd left in his yard. I found it with the mower. I spent the next hour picking up little shards of naked women for no extra pay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 374

You deserved it 7 073

Awkward

By Oh Cock - 10/10/2015 15:15 - United Kingdom - Watford

Spicy

Today, I realised just how much my favourite pornstar looks like my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 199

You deserved it 7 993

Keep it down

By Char-azard - 17/05/2016 09:03 - New Zealand - Napier

Spicy

Today, my father bought a pair of fancy noise cancelling headphones. He doesn't realise that the noise cancelling function only slightly muffles the moaning and screaming in the porn he's watching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 410

You deserved it 1 766

Now watching

By Anonymous - 14/01/2011 23:07 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, I came home, turned on my laptop, and turned the TV on mute so I could check my email. My mom came home an hour later, took a look at me on the couch, then the TV, and asked what on earth I was watching. I looked up from my laptop and realized it was porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 802

You deserved it 32 412

Creepypasta time

By Anonymous - 12/09/2023 20:00

Spicy

Today some young teenager nervously approached me, saying he’d done a drawing of me, and that I could have it if I wanted, then he ran off blushing. I thought it was cute until I saw the picture. It was me and him in extraordinary detail, having anal sex, with a dildo up my vagina. FML

I agree, your life sucks 711

You deserved it 173

Not literally, surely?

By Anonymous - 11/02/2023 06:00

Spicy

Today, I found out that my dad came across my nudes that got leaked online. FML

I agree, your life sucks 837

You deserved it 859

That was short-lived.

By adc2502 - 02/02/2018 11:00

Spicy

Today, after getting my first debit card, I spent £60 on porn online. My mum made me print off a statement at the ATM as she wanted to know where my money had gone. She saw everything and cut up my card. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 026

You deserved it 8 634

The classic argument

By assault and imnotracistbuttery - 18/04/2015 04:57 - United States - Waxahachie

Spicy

Today, I got into an argument with my racist brother after he opened his god damn stupid mouth in front of my girlfriend. He actually tried to convince me that he's not a racist, because one of his favorite types of porn is black girls getting fucked by white guys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 382

You deserved it 3 073

Nervous laughing

By Anonymous - 18/11/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, my parents and I were looking for something using the TV's search bar. Despite never, ever watching anything resembling porn, one of the default search options was, "Hot female Asian sex videos." Thank God they have an excellent sense of humor, as they laughed their heads off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 350

You deserved it 102

Billy Crystal like you've never seen him before

By Anonymous - 05/01/2014 23:48 - United States - Cuyahoga Falls

Spicy

Today, I downloaded a movie for my mom that she really likes, "When Harry Met Sally". When she loaded the file, we soon found out it was actually some kind of obscure porno billed as "When Harry Wet Sally". FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 753

You deserved it 9 944

By Laila - 20/02/2013 12:01 - United States

Today, my son asked me if the short films I write are for little kids or for adults. Since I write horror-filled films, I said they were for adults. He went and told his teacher that I made "adult films". FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 575

You deserved it 5 250

Gooner

By Anonymous - 15/12/2024 20:00

Spicy

Today, I had to teach my son to use private browsing because his porn keeps appearing in the search history. It worked, it’s no longer in the history, but he has added his favourite videos as tabs on the favourites bar. Either he’s a bigger idiot than I thought or he’s doing it on purpose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 449

You deserved it 164

By Nessa - 11/05/2017 00:00 - United States - Pomona

Spicy

Today, my mom got out a camcorder she's had a while, saying that there were tapes of me from when I was a child. The first tape I put in was a porno starring her and her ex-boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 739

You deserved it 563

Busting makes me feel good

By Anonymous - 03/02/2023 12:00

Spicy

Today, my husband suggested we start making pornos online to make ends meet. I told him, “You bust so quickly, it’ll have to be a TikTok.” He’s been pouting all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 279

You deserved it 469

Lookalike

By titmeister - 28/06/2016 16:30 - United States - Bayonne

Spicy

Today, I found out that the only reason my boyfriend is dating me is because I look like his favorite Hentai character. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 716

You deserved it 1 589

Not like that!

By Anonymous - 29/08/2022 00:00 - Canada - Toronto

Spicy

Today, the universe smiled upon me and my longtime fantasy of seeing someone I know appear in an adult film finally came true. However, as a straight guy, I should have been more specific: I was hoping to see a woman I know appear in an adult film. FML

I agree, your life sucks 464

You deserved it 1 216

Leave me alone

By Just fucking wank it off already and stop bugging me - 09/08/2024 22:00 - United States

Spicy

Today, my man has quit watching porn for "health benefits." Before, he only wanted sex once or twice a month. Now it's almost every damn night. Every time I try to convince him to go back to porn, he throws a tantrum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 212

You deserved it 783

The policy of truth

By Anonymous - 02/01/2024 22:00 - United States

Spicy

Today, I'm ending a 35 year marriage. In the last few months, my husband has told me that he has been preferring porn to me since before we were married, he has had multiple affairs, he always knew his family was toxic and messing with me. Oh, and he wants us to, "Move on and have a happy retirement together." FML

I agree, your life sucks 550

You deserved it 158

Chatty cat

By Anonymous - 15/12/2014 16:07 - Australia

Today, my cat let out the biggest moan I have ever heard, while we were both in the living room. My dad heard and accused me of watching porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 543

You deserved it 3 239

Satisfaction

By Anonymous - 28/10/2024 15:00 - Australia - Balwyn North

Spicy

Today, I realised that I'm addicted to a porn game… not because of the porn. The simple gameplay mechanic of combining objects on a board to make new objects makes my brain happy. I found myself feeling depressed at the thought that I'd have to wait 3 hours for my moves to recharge before I could play again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 192

You deserved it 394

Coworker from hell

By stupid! - 02/10/2021 17:00

Today, I was studying my anatomy book for nursing school while in the break room at my day job. My nosy-ass, ignorant coworker who always finds a way to butt into everyone’s business told the front office I was looking at porn. I got written up for, "displaying offensive materials." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 659

You deserved it 113

How? Why? What?

By Anonymous - 19/09/2022 16:30

Spicy

Today, in a holiday cottage, I was a little horny so I decided to watch some porn. An hour later, the owner barged in, screaming that I was not to use her internet for such things, that I’m a "loose slut" and that I'm "going to hell". The bitch must somehow have been illegally spying on my internet usage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 792

You deserved it 320

Thanks dad

By Anonymous - 24/01/2015 01:02 - Canada - Toronto

Spicy

Today, my dad uploaded his porn collection onto our family server. My mom was convinced I did it and sat me down for a long talk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 109

You deserved it 2 441

OK Gramps?

By UhhhUhhhRRRick - 05/03/2009 05:14 - United States

Spicy

Today, an elderly gentleman walked into the UPS Store where I work asking to use the laminating machine. I explained to him that we keep it behind the counter and I would do it for him, when he produced several graphic photos of him having sex with nasty looking women to be laminated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 363

You deserved it 4 444

Love knows no boundaries

By Anonymous - 08/07/2020 14:01

Spicy

Today, I found out my son's girlfriend is actually a webcam porn star he pays for private sessions. He’s somehow convinced himself they have a real relationship, and is spending thousands of pounds every week, on his credit card I may add. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 456

You deserved it 280

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The Top

The Top

Today, I was in Walmart on a motorized cart and got stuck on a clothing rack next to a super hot guy. Panicking, I said "I just had surgery, I'm a new driver." After failing to get myself unstuck he had to pull the clothes rack and I apart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 637

You deserved it 1 474

Today, I called a company for a problem with our septic tank. Two workers show up, I take them into the garden to show them the manhole cover at the top of it. They open it up. We then gaze upon a sea of condoms floating on the surface. My wife and I don't use condoms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 565

You deserved it 42

Today, I got home from work to find my wife asleep in her easy chair with my two year old son asleep in a pile of torn-up paper. I soon found out it was my 1960s collection of a Superman comic book series that I inherited from my dad. It was worth well over $2,000. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 414

You deserved it 5 283

Today, I was helping my dad move into his new house. It's a 4-bedroom house and he has three kids so it's perfect. I was wandering around and noticed that the first bedroom is his, the second is my older brother's, the third is my younger sister's, and the fourth is an office. I have no room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 015

You deserved it 3 343

Today, my wife found out about all the crazy stuff my ex and I used to do in my car, which I still drive. Serves me right for encouraging them to be friends. I hope she doesn’t find out about what went down on our ottoman, I can’t afford a new one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 390

You deserved it 1 515

Today, I went outside to start jogging for improving my ever declining fitness. A kind stranger yelled, “You’re doing great!” as I was wheezing after my first block. I was sitting on a bench. FML

I agree, your life sucks 370

You deserved it 111