Parents

Free healthcare for all

By Vickie - 18/06/2021 16:00

Today, while mopping the kitchen, I ended up slipping and and knocked over the table that had my mom’s iPad on it. The screen shattered; I sprained my wrist. I asked my mom to take me to the ER. She called me "selfish" because her iPad screen repair would "cost more." FML

I agree, your life sucks 992

You deserved it 130

Curious

By friendless - 03/12/2009 06:12 - Canada

Today, I got invited out by friends for coffee after I broke up with my boyfriend. When I told my mom where I was going, she looked at me and said, "But you don't have friends. All your friends are pixels. Where are you really going?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 685

You deserved it 3 832

Special announcement

By tired - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my dad woke me up 3 hours early, after I'd been up very late the night before, because something "awesome" happened. Apparently the cashier at Dunkin' Donuts and I share the same first name. Thanks Dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 447

You deserved it 3 699

Apron springs

By whyme - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my mother screamed and swore at me because I said I was looking to move out soon. Apparently, the idea of me moving out at 27 and her getting a job to pay her own way is devastating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 108

You deserved it 3 048

Unhealthy

By Anonymous - 10/09/2023 04:00 - United States

Today, I realized that for 31 years I have been defending our children to their father. Our oldest is 31. FML

I agree, your life sucks 500

You deserved it 228

Sweet relief

By best_mom_ever - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Mount Juliet

Today, my husband and I decided to tell our sixteen-year-old daughter that she's adopted. Her response was, "Thank God!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 296

You deserved it 6 963

Plants are our friend

By CoffeeCakeCaramel - 18/02/2022 10:00 - United States - Santa Barbara

Today, my mother bought earrings with marijuana leaves on them to show her love of nature. She won’t believe me when I tell her that it’s a weed leaf, and wants to wear them to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 922

You deserved it 89

Zoomers zooming

By Anonymous - 26/06/2020 08:08

Today, I was blowing my husband when we heard that distinctive shutter noise, and we realised our daughter had taken a photo of us. Apparently, she meant to take a video because she knows a website where any kind of "spying on people having sex" video will earn her $50. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 813

You deserved it 967

High tech scamming

By Thaylok - 13/07/2023 12:00

Today, I was contacted from the great beyond by my mother on Facebook. So were most of my family. This occurred within 60 minutes of her passing. Scammers act fast and can even claim that six sons all posting about the death and reporting the account is a lie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 787

You deserved it 101

Thanks for the support

By BadMomma - 16/03/2022 02:00 - United States - Kula

Today, I asked my parents to babysit my kids for an hour so that I could visit the doctor for my asthma, which has worsened over the past two days. Apparently I'm a bad mother, and it's OK if I stop breathing, but shouldn't leave my kids to go out alone. My husband was at the gym the entire evening. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 357

You deserved it 149

Sweet Sixteen

By Anonymous - 17/09/2021 13:59 - Netherlands

Today, it's my 16th birthday. My parents forgot about it, and planned a weekend out of town. I was alone on my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 111

You deserved it 108

Nice to know

By rejectedson - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my father got married. He left me a voicemail to tell me all about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 017

You deserved it 2 332

One lonely Stanley cup

By Anonymous - 29/03/2025 03:00 - Singapore - Singapore

Today, my kids refused to wake up on time, and I was at least 30-45 minutes late to work. Oh, and I forgot to bring my coffee to work. The travel thermos is still sitting on the kitchen counter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 269

You deserved it 350

Plans for fun

By no sex, boo - 18/12/2024 20:00 - United States - Richmond

Today, my fiancee and I dropped off our kiddo at a birthday party. Since it's been a couple of weeks of no sex, I said, "We could have sex while he's gone!" She said "Or… we could clean!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 563

You deserved it 190

What's YOUR resolution?

By Anonymous - 02/01/2024 15:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my dad made the New Year’s resolution that he’d try to get on better with my boyfriend. We’re less than 24 hours into the 1st of January and he’s already chased him around the garden trying to brain him with a meat tenderiser. Business as usual then. FML

I agree, your life sucks 507

You deserved it 167

Road to ruin

By Anonymous - 02/07/2023 00:02

Today, and for the past 3 years since I first started looking for work, my mother has once again cussed me out and called me "ungrateful" because I tried to get a job. She won't let me get my ID, and she will only apply to jobs around our tiny town that she "feels like doing." We're about to lose our home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 853

You deserved it 106

The Devil's lettuce

By Anonymous - 10/08/2023 00:02

Today, my friend went to go pick up some weed from her dealer. That same day her parents were searching her room, so guess who posted it through my letterbox so their parents wouldn’t find it. Unfortunately, my very religious parents found it and now think I'm being directed by Satan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 744

You deserved it 223

Controlling

By Anonymous - 01/07/2023 10:00 - United Kingdom

Today, even though I was very clear before I went on holiday that I was going completely zero contact to de-stress, my mother rang at least twice a day. When I stopped answering the phone, she found the direct number of the local police station in a foreign country and sent them to find me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 988

You deserved it 115

Armchair psychologist

By Mom - 27/11/2023 07:30

Today, I spent yet another lunch venting to my best friend about how much I hate my teenage son's girlfriend, thinking he should be with someone less outspoken. Apparently she got tired of listening because she eventually snapped, "Oh for god's sake, just admit you want to fuck your son already!" and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 103

You deserved it 1 334

Well planned out

By Anonymous - 25/07/2019 06:01

Today, after 6 months abroad, I finally got home to the airport at 5 a.m. where my parents were supposed to be picking me up. I called my mother to let her know I'd landed. She picked up with a sleepy voice and asked, "Who is this?" I'm an only child and we live 2 hours away from the airport. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 725

You deserved it 167

Dad of the day

By Anonymous - 05/07/2023 00:02 - United Kingdom

Today, my dad is disappointed in me because I came to him for advice on how I should tell my girlfriend I don’t feel ready for sex yet. He just looked at me, shook his head, and walked away. Later he sent my mom to ask me if I’m gay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 308

You deserved it 459

Trad life is great

By a…… - 17/06/2023 03:00 - Argentina - Buenos Aires

Today, I realised I hate my life. I’m 17, married to a selfish douchebag, raising twin babies with him when I should be studying or hanging out with friends like a normal teenager, all because he “doesn’t like how condoms feel” and he couldn’t pull out in time. Oh, and I didn’t even cum that night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 493

You deserved it 2 258

By Anonymous - 20/03/2014 20:23 - United States - Du Quoin

Today, I found out why my dad always treated me badly as a kid compared to my siblings. It's because I was conceived while my mom was cheating on him. On top of that, he made it clear that he still doesn't consider me a "real" part of the family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 002

You deserved it 3 471

Deadbeat

By stepdaddydoesitbetteranyway - 13/10/2020 20:05

Today, I found out that my ex is expecting another kid. Not only is this a man who tried to hook up with me last month, he's also the one who, when I asked him to pay child support for our two, told me that he could just "make some more". Guess he was right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 296

You deserved it 208

Stand up for yourself

By eff that asshole! - 26/06/2022 00:01

Today, I overheard my mom’s boyfriend viciously berating and verbally abusing her. I got in his face and started yelling that he can’t talk to her that way. He stormed out and we haven’t heard from him since. Now my mom is pissed and wants to kick me out for “ruining” her relationship. Sorry I guess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 658

You deserved it 130

Impressive

By Anon - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I messaged my sister on Facebook chat. We always start our conversations with, "HEY SLUT" or, "HEY WHORE" etc. It wasn't my sister. However, her boyfriend's mom has a great first impression of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 298

You deserved it 27 782

Bad timing

By Anonymous - 21/04/2022 00:01 - Australia

Today, I was pantsless, horny, and my vibrator died, so I put it on charge next to my bed. My mum then came in, crying hysterically about how she got fired. I was still naked. I felt so bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 205

You deserved it 298

Father and son time

By Loco - 09/08/2021 14:01

Today, every time I play on my PS4, my father does nothing but pester me about, "wasting my time on that garbage" and insists that I watch soap operas with him instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 981

You deserved it 108

Great expectations

By No Expectations No Disappointments - 18/09/2024 14:00 - Philippines - Makati City

Today, my dad and his buddies were hanging out. One of them said to my dad, "Hey! I've heard your son wants to be a doctor! He he he! You better start saving up!" My dad then triumphantly responded, "PAH!!! No problem there. He's an idiot! He probably won't make it to premed!" And yes, he was sober. FML

I agree, your life sucks 470

You deserved it 119

Fade out

By Anonymous - 10/10/2024 06:00 - United Kingdom

Today, after my dad and I had a real heart to heart and even settled some differences last night, this morning he was back to his grumpy asshole self. He even asked what he did last night, because he was on the new painkiller his doctor prescribed, and couldn’t remember a thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 509

You deserved it 77

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The Top

Today, I had a wet dream in the middle of an 8-hour-long airplane flight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 502

You deserved it 4 513

Today, while playing poker, I lost a stack of money to somebody with the screen name "Poopface." FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 551

You deserved it 36 339

Today, while out for our romantic Valentine's dinner, my boyfriend of 2 and a half years told me that he believes in females being subservient, that I'm not allowed to have opinions anymore, that he is "the alpha dog" and I'm merely the "beta dog", and that I have to "get used to it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 951

You deserved it 7 592

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. Mid-thrust she says "I love you, Jeremy." Then in rapid succession, she fires off 2 other names. None of the names were mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 670

You deserved it 3 847

Today, I was late for work, so I grabbed my handbag, my sports bag and ran out. The bus arrived at the stop just as I did, so I hopped on and sat down, trying to catch my breath. I dumped my bags onto my knees and looked down to see my cat, staring back at me from inside my sports bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 577

You deserved it 3 706

Today, my ill-tempered cat tried to slap me in the face. She ended up sticking one of her claws as far up my nostril as it would go, and got stuck. Not only did I kinda get to experience what it feels like to be stabbed, I also got a horrible nosebleed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 932

You deserved it 174