Love

All shook up

Anonymous - 24/07/2021 11:01

Today, I found out that my crush had a girlfriend. The way I found it out? He hugged me from behind, calling her name and saying darling, etc. When I turned around in shock, he quickly backed away and said, "Sorry , I thought you were someone else." FML

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Pseudoscience [gone sexual!!]

Anonymous - 22/07/2021 18:01

Today, I went to a chiropractor and got a membership just because I was desperate to be touched by a man after being single for 3 years. FML

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The high road

Stephy - 22/07/2021 11:01

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. Trying to be the bigger person, I told him, "Your loss, not mine." He responded with, "I didn’t lose anything really. You let yourself go. Have you looked in the mirror lately?” FML

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Awkward conversation ahead

IHateMyself - 21/07/2021 18:01

Today, my boyfriend returned from University after 8 months away. He says he cannot wait to see me. The whole half an hour ride to his home, I was shaking like a leaf. I’m still sitting his driveway because I don’t know how to tell him that I’m 5 months pregnant. Yes, I’m showing. A LOT. FML

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Miscommunication

embarrassed - 21/07/2021 01:59 - United States

Today, I saw a really cute guy in the grocery store. We made eye contact a few times and I was trying to work up the nerve to start a conversation. Instead, he screamed, "Yes, I know I’m fat, bitch. You don’t have to stare!” I got so many dirty looks I left immediately. I didn’t think he was fat. FML

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Besties

Anonymous - 21/07/2021 08:01 - South Africa - Nottingham Road

Today, my boyfriend's ex-girlfriend just moved in with his mom. They've been in my face knitting and baking bread together. FML

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Stuck with you

Anonymous - 21/07/2021 04:01

Today, I sent my abusive girlfriend a text, explaining I was breaking up with her via text because I was afraid for my physical safety if I broke up with her in person. She video chatted me less than five seconds later from our doctor's office, where the doctor confirmed she is in fact pregnant. FML

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The long scam

Rachelle - 20/07/2021 22:01

Today, I went on a second date with a seemingly great guy. Over drinks, I asked him what his plans for the future were. He replied that he wanted to have at least two kids, so he could start a family vlog prank channel. I laughed. He was serious. FML

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Happy…?

JustCantWin - - United States

Today, I called my parents to wish them a happy 28th anniversary. Now my mom's mad at my dad for forgetting, and my dad's mad at me for reminding her. FML

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I'm looking through you

lesler - 20/07/2021 06:01 - Canada

Today, my bartender noticed my new haircut before my live-in boyfriend did. FML

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Gamers rise up

Games - 20/07/2021 01:59

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He said it was because his online gaming friends don't like it when I ask him to spend time with me. FML

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Too on the nose

Anonymous - 19/07/2021 16:03

Today, my boyfriend was trying to describe his feelings. I asked him if he felt any emotions other than "anger." He went to get a beer and never came back. FML

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Super-spreading

Anonymous - 18/07/2021 17:59

Today, I found out I have bed bugs, thanks to my dad having them and not telling me, so my girlfriend got pissed at me, thinking I purposely give them to her, and is sending me a bill to have her house treated for them. Thanks dad. FML

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Like tears in rain

anabanannailoveu - 17/07/2021 07:59

Today, while I was on a walk, I saw my boyfriend; since it was raining, I thought it would be romantic to run up to him and kiss him. I ended up breaking his arm because I knocked him over. FML

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Nice guys

Anonymous - 17/07/2021 04:01

Today, it’s my birthday. My boyfriend handed me this month’s rental statement with “Paid” written in red ink. He says it’s my gift, because, "that shit adds up every month" and I should be "grateful" that I have a roof over my head for another month instead of being "materialistic." FML

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"Tubular Bells" starts playing…

Anonymous - 16/07/2021 22:01

Today, my husband is terminal and insisted on making his last confession. Long story short, the priest came out pale and sweating and told me, in no uncertain terms, that my husband is definitely going to Hell, but won’t tell me why. FML

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Don't look back

WhataStrangeTripThisIs - 16/07/2021 20:01

Today, out of pure desperation and loneliness, I went out with my ex-boyfriend. It ended with him hitting me and driving off with my car. He's in jail now. What was I thinking? FML

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I KNOW!

Anonymous - 16/07/2021 07:59

Today, my boyfriend mansplained to me that because Loki likes both boys and girls, he’s bi, not gay. I’m bi, and my boyfriend knows this. FML

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Bumpy ride

Anonymous - 16/07/2021 04:01

Today, I have a skin disease that causes my arms and legs to have small, but noticeable, red bumps on them. Trying to stay confident, I put on a swimsuit and went to the pool, only to be bumped into by a cute guy, who then asked why my arms were so "bumpy and disgusting." FML

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Not a morning person

Anonymous - 15/07/2021 20:01 - United Kingdom - Glasgow

Today, I was woken up by the sound of someone in my room. I started freaking out, thinking someone had broken in, so I kicked them, only to realise it was my boyfriend coming back from the toilet. I'd forgotten he was staying over. FML

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Choked

embarrassing - 15/07/2021 18:01

Today, I went out to eat with friends. My crush was also at the restaurant with his friends. He smiled at me as I took a mouthful of food, and I choked. The waitress had to perform the Heimlich maneuver on me, while he and his friends fell off their chairs laughing. FML

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Leave some for the rest of us

Fourth Wheel - 15/07/2021 11:01

Today, I met up with a couple I know, who wanted to introduce me to someone. I thought they were setting me up with her, but no. They were coming out as polyamorous, and she was their new girlfriend. FML

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Worried

Theo Edwards - 15/07/2021 02:01

Today, I found out my girlfriend is talking to some guy from across the country. When I ask about it, she claims, "Oh he's just a friend, and won't talk to him anymore." Now she's doing it secretly and deleting messages. She has kids, and I care for them and her, but I don't know what to do. FML

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Hiding from the drama

Tiff8any - 14/07/2021 21:59

Today, my boyfriend asked me to untag him in our vacation photos together. Last month, he hid his relationship status and hid every trace of me. He says it’s because he doesn’t want any "social media drama" and people knowing about his "personal life." We’ve been together for 3 years. FML

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Mama's boy

vacay no way - 14/07/2021 06:01

Today, I was asking my husband to help me finalize plans for our upcoming vacation. He, however, would rather pout and sulk because I don’t want him to bring his mom along. She’s been with us on our last few trips and it’s hard to get any alone time. I’m considering just going alone at this point. FML

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Oh, hi… you

Anonymous - 13/07/2021 18:01 - United States - Exeter

Today, a girl said hi to me very enthusiastically at school, and I heard her friends laughing afterward. I was too lazy to put in my contact lenses this morning so I couldn't tell who it was. FML

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Weird reason to leave, but OK

Anonymous - 13/07/2021 04:01

Today, I moved out a few weeks ago because I was sick of my husband not helping around the house, and told him he’d never manage without me. I checked today while he was at work. The house is the cleanest I’ve ever seen it; apparently he doesn’t need me and most of the mess was actually mine. FML

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Personality matters

hjufidskndf - - United States

Today, I found out that my boyfriend has been asked by multiple people, "Why are you going out with such an ugly girl?" FML

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Spookmagooked

kellbell24 - 12/07/2021 14:01

Today, I went to my husband’s funeral. Not his real one, his rehearsal funeral. He just wants to make sure everything will go according to plan. As far as I know, he is a very healthy 26-year-old. FML

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Why are you like this?

Bea - 11/07/2021 17:59 - Brazil - Sao Paulo

Today, thinking it would be funny I tried tricking my boyfriend into thinking my grandparents were cousins, and that I was the product of incest. This would have been a great prank, if he hadn't have said, "You know what? That actually makes sense. It all makes sense now." FML

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, a grown-ass woman has launched a Mean Girl-type hate campaign against my daughter. This petty bitch is mad because my daughter is allowed to join the varsity teams while her daughter didn’t make it. My high school days are behind me but I’m ready to meet this bitch in the parking lot. Fml

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Today, my mom proved to me that there was favoritism between me and my siblings. My mom made me use my money to buy everyone dinner, but when my brother wanted to buy himself food, my mom asked him if he was gonna buy me and our sister some too, he said, "No, I don’t want to" and she said, "That’s fine." FML

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Today, I was so bored, I sewed my name into my underwear. FML

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Today, I walked past a man handing out miniature Bibles on my way to class. He handed me one, commenting "here, you look like you need this." FML

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Today, my boyfriend and I have reached the final nail in the coffin. He rather roleplay with strangers in Grand Theft Auto 5 than even talk to me on the phone, and he speaks to me like I'm gum under his shoe, and tells me we don't need to talk every day or do anything together. Before we used to every day. FML

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Today, I had to turn down an offer of what seemed like some sexy time with a cute girl because my intestines were bursting with an intense desire to unleash molten lava. I rushed home to squat down, only to let out a disappointingly small piece of crud and a tiny fart. FML

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