Cassius By Noname - 11/03/2009 06:04 - United States Today, I went on my porch for a late night cigarette. When I opened the door and took one step inside, all I remember is a big thud. I woke up 5 minutes later with my father over top of me saying, "Nice right hook, huh?" Then he chuckled. He thought I was a burglar and he knocked me out. FML I agree, your life sucks 58 484 You deserved it 9 482 Share Tweet Share
Today, it’s exam day in Sweden. Yesterday, I prepared three fountain pens and six cartridges. The exam starts. Suddenly, I’m stressing out: my pens had frozen during the night. Thanks, sub-zero conditions. FML I agree, your life sucks 784 You deserved it 104
Today, I woke up after drunkenly hooking up with a girl who was really into Twilight. I felt bruises on the lower end of my neck and so I went to the mirror and checked it out. She bit me, 5 times. FML I agree, your life sucks 15 709 You deserved it 39 031
Today, half asleep, I dropped my pill before I could take it. I quickly picked it up and washed it down. Five hours later, I just found my pill on the ground. What did I swallow? FML I agree, your life sucks 108 846 You deserved it 25 494
Today, I made a joke about having a wedding to my mom and she told me not to joke about something that will probably never happen. FML I agree, your life sucks 37 909 You deserved it 3 553
Today, I went on the best date of my life with someone I’ve admired for a very long time. On the car ride home, she vomited all over my lap and informed me that she’s moving across the country next week. FML I agree, your life sucks 4 891 You deserved it 367
Today, my wife has declared that, unless our son has finished his homework, I'm not to watch TV, play video games, read, use my phone, cook, or go outside, lest I "tempt him" to leave his work unfinished. Guess I'll just stare at the wall all afternoon. FML I agree, your life sucks 542 You deserved it 256