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Have you just experienced an FML moment?

Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Your instinct was right, because it’s good to laugh life off. Follow the instructions below, and if your story gets through the moderation process, it'll published in the next 24 hours or so.


    Remaining characters: 320

    Your story must start with “Today,” and end with “FML”. TXT language is forbidden and spelling mistakes hurt people’s eyeballs, so the use of either would result in the direct dismissal of your FML. Don’t use this space for discussions, advertising or spam, or for posting anything which isn’t an FML. Furthermore, it’s not possible to obtain badges by posting keywords, so stop believing things you’ve read on message boards. Don’t try reposting old FMLs, we’re not that daft.


    Please read our guidelines for posting

    Fight

    Cassius

    By Noname - 11/03/2009 06:04 - United States

    Today, I went on my porch for a late night cigarette. When I opened the door and took one step inside, all I remember is a big thud. I woke up 5 minutes later with my father over top of me saying, "Nice right hook, huh?" Then he chuckled. He thought I was a burglar and he knocked me out. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 58 484
    You deserved it 9 482
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    Weird Toys Kids Fight Embarrassing Health Funerals Poopoo peepee My ex I need your advice Relatable Love Harassment Sex Intimacy Friends Cheating Tattoos Bodyshaming Gross Smells Work Surgery Money Underwear Cops Gun control Cars Weather Transportation
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    Today, it’s exam day in Sweden. Yesterday, I prepared three fountain pens and six cartridges. The exam starts. Suddenly, I’m stressing out: my pens had frozen during the night. Thanks, sub-zero conditions. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 784
    You deserved it 104
    Today, I woke up after drunkenly hooking up with a girl who was really into Twilight. I felt bruises on the lower end of my neck and so I went to the mirror and checked it out. She bit me, 5 times. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 15 709
    You deserved it 39 031
    Today, half asleep, I dropped my pill before I could take it. I quickly picked it up and washed it down. Five hours later, I just found my pill on the ground. What did I swallow? FML
    I agree, your life sucks 108 846
    You deserved it 25 494
    Today, I made a joke about having a wedding to my mom and she told me not to joke about something that will probably never happen. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 37 909
    You deserved it 3 553
    Today, I went on the best date of my life with someone I’ve admired for a very long time. On the car ride home, she vomited all over my lap and informed me that she’s moving across the country next week. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 4 891
    You deserved it 367
    Today, my wife has declared that, unless our son has finished his homework, I'm not to watch TV, play video games, read, use my phone, cook, or go outside, lest I "tempt him" to leave his work unfinished. Guess I'll just stare at the wall all afternoon. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 542
    You deserved it 256
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