Divorce

Heiress

By Anonymous - 19/02/2022 06:00

Today, my now ex-husband admitted in open court that the only thing he misses about me is the income from the chain restaurants my parents willed to me. I raised his kids for thirteen years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 079

You deserved it 125

Rationalization

By Anonymous - 28/04/2021 02:00

Today, I'm getting divorced because I found out that my husband of 17 years cheated on me when I was pregnant, all 3 times. He also had a year-long relationship with another woman, but, "it doesn't count because she knew I wasn't going to leave you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 388

You deserved it 138

All too common

By Anonymous - 16/07/2022 10:00

Today, I got divorced. In a 4 minute 40 second phone call with the judge, which ended with him saying, "Congratulations!" I didn't want this. I just didn't see the point in fighting to stay in a marriage that my ex didn't want. Now my underlying depression is worse, and I have to fake it for the sake of our kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 156

You deserved it 200

Nice guys

By Anonymous - 13/06/2021 19:59

Today, having split up with my husband, I tried to plan visitation so he could visit my sons, his stepkids, only to be told he has no intention of visiting kids that aren’t actually his, and that now we’re divorced they're entirely my problem and good riddance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 705

You deserved it 1 292

What's love got to do with it?

By Anonymous - 20/11/2021 05:02

Today, my wife and I were going through a very amicable 50/50 divorce, until she found out I’m already dating. She’s only two years younger than my wife, but it upset her enough she’s now stalling the divorce until she gets 75/25 in her favour, including the holiday cottage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 862

You deserved it 1 910

Hey, well, happy birthday anyway

By elmoisdead2131 - 09/02/2021 14:01

Today, my parents took me out to dinner. I thought they were taking me because it's my birthday. Turns out they are getting divorced. They forgot it was my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 345

You deserved it 105

Great gift

By Meh - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, two days before my birthday, my parents drove three hours to visit me at school and take me out to lunch. I assumed that it was to celebrate my birthday. They told me they are getting divorced. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 468

You deserved it 2 898

Divorce, the ultimate turn on

By Anonymous - 04/03/2022 00:00

Today, I’m confused as hell. Since we got divorced, my ex-wife and I have had more sex in the last 6 months than our entire 5 year marriage. Since our split, we can’t keep our hands off each other, and I’m in a state of permanent confusion about our future relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 335

You deserved it 363

Asshat

By Vivi - 14/07/2021 18:01

Today, my soon-to-be-ex-husband decided to bring our four kids over to tell them we were splitting up, and to make them choose who they want to live with, because, "Mommy’s been a nagging bitch." He left out that the "nagging bitch" caught him having an affair the night before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 301

You deserved it 198

Get over it

By DD. - 08/02/2010 14:18 - France

Today, my wife told me that she wants a divorce. Apparently, I'm taking too long to forgive her for having an affair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 110

You deserved it 4 128

Better off

By BooblessWife - 18/05/2023 03:00

Today, my husband announced he’s no longer attracted to me and wants a divorce because I got a needed double mastectomy. When I reminded him of his wedding vows, “In sickness and in health” he said that he thought that meant “the flu or something, not this shit.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 442

You deserved it 134

New OS update released

By Susanliz89 - 29/06/2023 03:00

Today, my husband is divorcing me for a girl who was born in 2004. Two thousand fucking four. He’s 41. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 063

You deserved it 180

Priorities

By Anonymous - 31/07/2023 12:00

Today, my parents announced they're getting a divorce. Now I don't know who's going to do my laundry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 106

You deserved it 1 856

Travel plans shelved

By Anonymous - 17/10/2023 16:00 - United States - Dawson

Today, I found out the passport office sent my passport to the wrong address. They sent it all to my ex-wife (currently separated) who is now asking for money in exchange for the documents, as well as me signing a divorce that she hasn't started. I'm from Australia; I can't go see my family because of her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 915

You deserved it 150

Double whammy

By Anonymous - 28/02/2023 16:00 - Argentina

Today, my wife told me she wanted a divorce and walked out. This is two days after she informed me that she is unexpectedly pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 998

You deserved it 98

Can't win

By yup0308 - 30/04/2021 23:01 - United States - Byron Center

Today, and for almost 6 years, my wife and I have had issues fighting when we’re drunk. I’ve always gotten/accepted the blame. I quit drinking to try and better our marriage. Now she wants a divorce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 009

You deserved it 142

Grasping at straws

By lulumars - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I finally confronted my mom about how I felt about her three divorces. She then explained that she went through the divorces because I failed to keep the house clean. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 567

You deserved it 2 751

It's all too much

By Anonymous - 01/03/2022 00:00

Today, via a situation too complicated to explain, I accidentally cost my boss almost 50,000, on the same day his wife asked for a divorce and his dog died. I’m almost too scared to tell him how I screwed up, in case it sends him completely off the deep end. FML

I agree, your life sucks 971

You deserved it 285

Commitment

By Anonymous - 07/06/2023 06:00

Today, my wife asked for a divorce. Apparently, me being forced to work on her birthday and our anniversary 3 years in a row is the absolute limit she’s willing to put up with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 603

You deserved it 906

Priorities

By unwanted - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, my parents fought over who gets the dog when they divorce. Nothing has been said about where my brother and I will live when they split. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 245

You deserved it 3 603

Thanks, kids

By Anonymous - 28/09/2009 21:21 - United States

Today, I told my son and daughter that their father and I were getting a divorce. They each responded with something like, "Yay! I want to live with Daddy! He buys better presents!" Their father has literally never bought anything for them, one of the many reasons I'm divorcing him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 277

You deserved it 8 744

At least someone's happy…

By reckless182 - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I had to tell my 10 year-old son that his father and I are getting a divorce. His reply? "Yes! I call living with dad!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 688

You deserved it 13 574

Give me a second!

By Nick - 23/06/2024 14:00 - Canada

Today, my ex-wife's lawyer threatened to default on the divorce because I have not signed the divorce papers yet. Divorce papers that I have not been served yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 519

You deserved it 90

Not funny, man

By ChristinaGee - 30/12/2021 20:00

Today, my husband says he wants to file for divorce because he’s tired of me being a “bossy boots.” Apparently, asking him to stop sending a 17 year-old girl dick pics as a “joke” is too much to ask. My tongue is going to fall out from the many times I've had to explain to him why it’s inappropriate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 779

You deserved it 413

Judgement day

By Anonymous - 28/05/2022 04:00

Today, I found texts between my wife and her boyfriend making fun of me. They would sext right before my wife would be with me so she could think of him. She brags about how she picks random fights with me, stalks me, withholds sex, and calls our son names as well. I cannot wait to present these screenshots during our divorce hearing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 742

You deserved it 130

Better call Saul

By Anonymous - 28/11/2023 07:30

Today, my wife broke the TV during an argument with her mother, but it’s my fault because I "put the TV in such a stupid place" so I should pay for a new one. Anyone know any good divorce lawyers? Stick the number in the comments, I’m so done with her bullshit and her crazy family of assholes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 714

You deserved it 156

My good boy

By Anonymous - 23/03/2025 14:00 - United States - Anaheim

Today, my husband is divorcing me because I refused to sign off on the paperwork to break our kids’ trust funds or mortgage our house in order to pay for surgery for his 12 year-old dog. Yeah, it’s not like our kids need a future or a place to live or anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 567

You deserved it 191

Living his best life

By Anonymous - 03/09/2024 13:00 - United Kingdom

Today, it's been a few months ago since we finally got the divorce we’ve wanted for years. He seems to have forgotten our shared photo library as he just uploaded a bunch of photos of all his disgusting sexual exploits, including the threesome he always wanted. Meanwhile, I can’t get so much as a second date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 486

You deserved it 331

So close

By Anonymous - 20/07/2022 06:00

Today, not only did my ex-wife take everything in our divorce, my most recent lottery ticket was off by only one number, I would have won millions and she wouldn’t have been entitled to a penny. Oh well, back to sleeping in my caravan, which is all I have left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 943

You deserved it 157

Save the children

By Anonymous - 15/06/2023 02:00 - United Kingdom - Barnsley

Today, after my ex-husband always said we would never let our kids have screen time, since our divorce he has let screens do 100% of his parenting, while he day-drinks, and yet if I try to take the kids away from him, he threatens lawyers straight away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 731

You deserved it 174

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend's recently mated tarantula disappeared from her enclosure with her egg sac, so she's now somewhere in the house with between 20 and 100 babies hatching within a week. I moved out this afternoon. My boyfriend caused this, he can damn well find her before I set foot in there again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 204

You deserved it 141

Today, I helped my parents out by tearing down the old, rusty swing set that's been in our backyard for years. Little did I know that there was a beehive hidden in the long grass, and I now have dozens of painful red bumps all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 202

You deserved it 2 269

Today, when I was a teen, I felt inferior for being flat-chested. So I got a boob job. As an adult, I started yoga and meditation. Then I felt foolish for not embracing my natural self and having plastic stuff in me. Got the implants out. Now I'm happy with my looks but have nerve damage from the procedures. FML

I agree, your life sucks 535

You deserved it 492

Today, I looked at my father's Facebook for the first time in a month to see a status saying, "Making wedding plans!" Really? When was he planning on telling his own daughter? FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 919

You deserved it 3 069

Today, I finally got an interview for the job I want. The interviewer looked at my resumé and asked, "So, what have you been doing for the past 10 years?" I guess binge-watching Netflix wasn't the right answer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 209

You deserved it 1 152

Today, I was giving my boyfriend head. I got a little too enthusiastic during it, and wound up cracking my neck loudly, and had to stop while the pain settled down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 244

You deserved it 24 114