Dating

What should I do?

By Anonymous - 07/02/2024 21:00 - United States - San Diego

Today, every girl i've ever been interested in will not text me back or follow up. I barely had any luck back in high school. I thought it would get better. Is this what dating is like in the mid-20's? FML

I agree, your life sucks 416

You deserved it 205

Toxic waste

By Anonymous - 02/09/2022 06:00 - Europe

Today, I was on a first date with a girl at a lake. I felt my stomach rumble and knew I couldn’t make it to shore, so I dropped into the water and had violently diarrhea in the water. It started to bubble, and so I started splashing around, saying, “It’s cold” while she swam around me, in my shit water. I’ve never told her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 145

You deserved it 464

Crafty

By Anonymous - 07/08/2010 23:41 - United States

Today, I was supposed to be going on my first date with a guy I really liked. He never showed up. I just found out my dad was outside washing the car when my date showed up. He told him he didn't have a daughter and to never show up on his driveway again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 542

You deserved it 3 218

By Chaznuts - 08/09/2009 06:22 - Australia

Today, I went on a blind double date. My date was drunk before I got there. He kept getting my name wrong, and ended up spilling a glass of red wine down the front of my dress. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 559

You deserved it 5 206

The pros and cons of dating

By Fun but pointless date - 28/08/2023 20:00

Today, I went on a blind date. It turned out that the person who I was set up with was my ex's sibling. We spent the whole evening talking about how terrible my ex is. I'm still single, though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 665

You deserved it 144

Good girl

By Anonymous - 28/05/2019 06:00

Today, I went on a Tinder date with a guy who said, "Good girl" whenever I said anything that he agreed with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 042

You deserved it 313

If you can't handle me at my worst…

By Anonymous - 01/05/2022 00:01

Today, my date got a cold before our date and accidentally took medicine that makes you drowsy before we went out. Two glasses of red later to calm her nerves, she yelled at a waiter, threw her shoe at the chef, then passed out on the table. I’m going to marry this girl, just you watch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 879

You deserved it 330

Have fun!

By Outandaway - 09/03/2023 00:00

Today, I encouraged my boyfriend to get out of the house more often. So he did. He went out on a date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 926

You deserved it 259

First Dates

By Anonymous - 06/06/2014 22:44 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I went on a date with a guy I've had a crush on for ages. Midway through the meal, he sighed and said, "I'll be honest, this is a horrible date. You got zero personality and I'm too lazy to do a window escape, so..." He then got up and walked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 478

You deserved it 10 192

Biohazard

By Diane - 19/01/2025 12:00 - France - Paris

Today, I went on a date with a guy I met online. He took me to a restaurant where I was allergic to practically everything on the menu. I sneezed five or six times within the first 15 minutes and spent the rest of the lunch awkwardly trying to explain I wasn't allergic to him, just the food and spices floating around us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 432

You deserved it 155

I'm blue dabadi dabada

By Ricky - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, in order to look nice for a date, I tried the new blue mouthwash that turns plaque blue so you know where to brush. I couldn't get all the blue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 634

You deserved it 48 261

Thanks for nothing

By BrittanyP - 25/06/2023 12:00

Today, after being so jaded by failed relationships, I'd given a guy who slid into my Facebook Messenger a chance. We'd entered the talking stage, only to be told four months later that he’s found a girlfriend, and no longer wants to continue this interaction and blocked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 658

You deserved it 287

Adelaide?

By Anonymous - 14/02/2023 14:00

Today, I was stood up at a cafe named “Commitment Issues”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 729

You deserved it 156

Just make it stop

By Anonymous - 11/10/2024 21:00 - United Kingdom - Castleford

Today, I’m stuck on a date with a man who got ready by washing his car instead of showering, is proud to never read newspapers because “they lie”, and thinks racist jokes count as witty conversation. I’d have left already but he drove me, there’s no bus stop nearby, and no Ubers in the area. FML

I agree, your life sucks 466

You deserved it 160

Failed the vibe check

By Anonymous - 29/08/2022 18:00 - United States

Today, I found out that the guy I met off of Bumble, and have been seeing for the past few weeks, went to jail in 2020 for kidnapping a girl he met off Tinder. I would've be on a date with him right now had I not decided to Google him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 144

You deserved it 189

Manic Pixie Dream Girl

By Misha - 05/06/2022 06:00

Today, I was flirting with this really attractive guy on a dating website until he became convinced I wasn't real by my pictures and bio, and stopped messaging me and reported me for spam. He was really, really cute and funny, and seemed like a great guy until then. Guess I'm too vanilla. FML

I agree, your life sucks 953

You deserved it 173

Hard pass

By Gioia - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - Bulgaria - Vidin

Today, I was so nervous about a first date that while trying to break a silence in the beginning, I asked, "So, you afraid of any insects?" No wonder I didn't get a second date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 086

You deserved it 11 960

Stable genius

By Anonymous - 26/09/2020 02:02 - United States - New York

Today, I went on a short date with a new girl in the office, who everyone thought was a tad bit odd. Also today, she showed me the names of our future children. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 199

You deserved it 255

Jumping the gun

By mygirlnoloveme - 04/08/2023 08:00

Today, I told the girl of my dreams that my love for her was deeper than the ocean. She laughed hysterically. This wouldn’t be so bad but we happen to be dating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 355

You deserved it 625

This is going to hurt

By Anonymous - 10/06/2023 06:00

Today, a nice doctor in his 40s asked me on a date and, despite the age difference, I was thinking about it… until my mom recognised him. He was the trainee doctor who helped me be born 22 years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 803

You deserved it 153

Joe Smooth

By Anonymous - 09/01/2022 04:59 - United States - West Covina

Today, I went on a blind date. My date spent the whole time at the restaurant on his phone and didn't even try to show interest. Thankfully I'll never have to deal with this individual ever again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 110

You deserved it 148

Let down

By heartbreakkid21 - 14/05/2009 15:22 - United States

Today, I was on a date with this girl I actually like. The date was going really well and it seemed like it would be a good night. While in the movie theater, I went to hold her hand and instead she gave me a hand shake and said, "You're so funny, I'm so glad we're friends". FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 217

You deserved it 5 626

Escape game

By Anonymous - 05/12/2021 11:01

Today, my date escaped through a second-storey bathroom window before our drinks even arrived. She later texted me that it wasn’t my fault, I just reminded her too much of her father, even though I’m two years younger than her and look nothing like the photos I've seen of him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 116

You deserved it 135

Love is in the air

By Anonymous - 21/04/2022 02:00

Today, I work in a call centre for telecommunications and someone called in to ask about a payment on their account. I meant to ask them if they had checked their online banking statement, but instead I asked them if they had checked their online dating profile. FML

I agree, your life sucks 637

You deserved it 376

The struggle is real

By Any mouse - 05/03/2024 21:00 - United States

Today, I'm a 46 year-old woman who hates online dating, and who is now single again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 433

You deserved it 204

Quack detector

By gummy - 13/03/2022 20:00 - United States

Today, my date told me that he, his parents, and grandparents, believe that all doctors, but especially dentists, are nothing but drug-pushing crooks, and therefore completely unnecessary. Oh and the fact that they’ve all lost their teeth is “genetic” and has nothing to do with their hygiene. FML

I agree, your life sucks 881

You deserved it 87

I'm outta here

By Anonymous - 24/07/2025 13:00 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I was on a first date with a gorgeous and seemingly fun woman. After ordering, she pulled some plastic utensils from her purse. She then explained, “I always carry my own because I don’t want to get a fork a black person may have used before me.” I got up and left without a word. FML

I agree, your life sucks 764

You deserved it 128

Rumbled

By apparentlyugly - 15/06/2009 19:11 - United States

Today, I was on the phone with a prospective blind date. He asked me to describe myself, so I said that I was fun, attractive, and a little chubby but not fat. My 7 year-old sister walked up to me and screamed, "Jesus doesn't like it when we lie!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 408

You deserved it 15 246

By Anonymous - 25/05/2021 00:01

Today, I took a girl out on a date. We had dinner, we had good conversation, the vibe was excellent, and everything was great. I took her to a bar I frequent after for a couple of drinks to finish the night. She left with some other dude on his motorcycle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 175

You deserved it 137

Cheap

By Nator - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, this guy took me to Denny's on a first date and used a 2-for-1 coupon. It was expired. I paid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 776

You deserved it 5 266

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Kids Family Miscellaneous Friends Confused Toxic Love Pranks Scams Money Religion Cheating Parenting Dating NSFW Work Health Painful Cooking AITA Stalker My ex Coworkers Internet Relatable Pokémon Awkward Annoying Shopping Underwear

The Top

Today, while at a party playing Truth or Dare, I found out my best friend fantasizes about having sex with my 51 year old mother. The rest of the guys at the party then nodded in agreement and thus spawned a group conversation about how "screwable" my mom is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 748

You deserved it 3 565

Today, I had my teacher look over my essay before turning it in. He said it was extremely well-written, so I handed it in. When I got it back, the feedback he left said it was one of the worst essays he'd ever read. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 136

You deserved it 4 623

Today, a neighbor called the cops on me and my friends because we were "starting a fire" in the backyard. We were using a barbecue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 585

You deserved it 2 879

Today, I crawled into bed, naked, wanting to get some, and hoping to surprise my boyfriend who's always complaining that I don't sleep naked. When he finally got into bed he rolled over, touched my bare ass, and said "Oh…" then rolled back over and went to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 898

You deserved it 6 070

Today, my husband and I went to my overbearing mom's 57th birthday party. He opened his gift in front of her and said smugly, "The makeup's for your face, and the prayer book's for the fat rolls." Any hope of family peace is now lost. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 340

You deserved it 3 820

Today, my grandmother called me to tell me that there will be a nice, single guy for me to meet at the family reunion. She went on and on about how perfect he was for me. I didn't have the heart to tell her I'm a lesbian, and have been out to the rest of the family for over six years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 373

You deserved it 12 352