Cars

So frustrating!

By Anonymous - 17/02/2024 09:00 - Germany

Today, I left my phone on the roof of my car after pumping gas. I drove off, and it wasn't until I heard a thud that I realized what had happened. Now my phone has a gash in the screen, and it's receiving angry texts from my girlfriend that I can't answer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 222

You deserved it 471

Crazy people

By nowhere to go - 12/12/2021 14:01

Today, I was stuck in the drive-thru line from hell. The guy in front of me started freaking out and demanded that I back out so he could pull out. I tried to tell him there were cars behind me, but that didn’t stop him from getting out of his car and kicking out my headlights. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 192

You deserved it 101

Cancel culture

By Anonymous - 17/12/2023 17:00 - United States

Today, I found out that my insurance canceled my contract, claiming I hadn't paid, even though I had. I only discovered this because I backed into a car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 517

You deserved it 121

Next time, text me instead

By Anonymous - 25/05/2022 06:00

Today, I drove 120 miles to spend a few days with my girlfriend. Less than 12 hours into my stay, she dumped me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 967

You deserved it 163

Goddamn it

By Kaluhaluha - 25/08/2018 13:00

Today, I came back from a 700-mile round trip. I hit a massive pothole I couldn't avoid and blew out a tire and bent my rim. I was less than a mile from my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 660

You deserved it 234

It hurts

By postop - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Far Rockaway

Today, I woke up to my mother telling me to sit up and get dressed because we had to go before it was too late. I had just woken up from surgery. She didn't want to be stuck in traffic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 357

You deserved it 2 121

Community policing

By phant776 - 13/05/2011 04:02 - United States

Today, I was pulled over by a cop. He asked for my license and registration, so I reached for my center console. I was then greeted with a gun to my ear because my coffee cup supposedly looked like a gun. I stepped out of my car to apologize, and I was hit with a big stick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 471

You deserved it 9 323

Drive

By Anonymous - 20/11/2021 16:59 - United States

Today, it was my birthday. Two of my best friends forgot it, and so did my grandparents. All of my friends were busy, so I spent it alone in my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 149

You deserved it 137

Stranded

By leftoutdrunk - 05/05/2012 18:12 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I volunteered to be my brother's designated driver. I told him throughout the night that I wasn't drinking, but he ended up leaving me at the bar and going to his friend's house in a cab for more drinks, taking my keys along with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 776

You deserved it 4 072

What are the chances?

By Anonymous - 11/03/2016 12:20 - United States - Jacksonville

Today, I forgot my phone on the roof of my car. I took a 30 minute drive from my friend's city to my city. I got on to my driveway, surprised to see my phone still there. Thinking I'm really lucky, I pick up my phone. Then, I trip over a pebble, cracking my phone in the process. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 958

You deserved it 4 362

Let me out!

By Anonymous - 21/03/2016 21:26 - United States - Depew

Today, I parked my car in the company lot and walked down the street to a mandatory company training. While I was at the training, everyone back at the office decided to leave early and locked the company lot. My car is now stuck there for the night and I'm walking home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 949

You deserved it 1 539

Life comes at you hard

By OptimalPath - 28/09/2023 14:00

Today, I sold my Merc, which I bought 9 years ago to "commute in style." Since buying it, I had job in the City so it sat at in a car park, my child was born with a condition, I lost my job and couldn't find another for 3 years, the next one was in the City, then Covid and no commute, and now I work from home. I didn't ever get to drive it to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 594

You deserved it 302

By TotaledBeamer - 03/06/2019 22:09

Today, I found out how much damage my neighbor's 5-year-old kid can do to my brand-new BMW with a baseball bat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 316

You deserved it 167

Territorial Pissings

By El Camino - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I parked in a different lot because the one I usually park in was full. When I came back later, a bumper sticker was stuck to the windshield that said, "INCONSIDERATE F***, DON'T PARK HERE AGAIN!" To make matters worse, it was stuck on with a special type of glue, so it can't be removed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 666

You deserved it 5 178

Alexa, play "In The City" by The Jam

By Anonymous - 02/12/2021 08:03

Today, after I was told my new apartment in the city I’m moving to for work had off-street parking, the only car that could possibly fit is a Mini if it had first been sawn in half. I parked my perfectly normal Citroen as close to the wall as I could, but my back wheels were still on the road. FML

I agree, your life sucks 844

You deserved it 167

Branching out

By Anonymous - 08/12/2012 09:28 - Australia - Weston

Today, I thought it would be nice to park my new car under a big, shady oak tree to prevent it from heating up in the sun. The big, shady oak tree thought it would be nice to shed a massive branch on top of my new car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 025

You deserved it 4 161

How can I put this…

By Jiffy - 09/05/2026 20:00 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, I test-drove a customer’s car to investigate a strange noise. I heard the exact clunk she'd described. It was actually a wrench I’d left under the hood sliding around and hitting things. I had to return and sheepishly explain that the problem was entirely my fault. FML

I agree, your life sucks 106

You deserved it 358

Classic prank

By CelibateHero - 05/10/2013 06:31 - United States - Notre Dame

Today, as I was walking home, a car drove through a puddle and splashed me like in a cheesy movie. As if that wasn't annoying enough, the driver had to pull over because she was laughing too hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 016

You deserved it 3 512

By Anonymous - 15/07/2013 03:40 - United States - Odenton

Today, I was teaching my daughter how to drive. We were passing by a merge lane; I told her to slow down and let a green car merge in front of us. She said, "Fuck the green car" and sped up, colliding with it. Apparently she didn't know that would happen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 018

You deserved it 7 195

Get away from me!

By Bobby The Baker - 03/04/2019 16:00

Today, a cockroach flew towards me, and out of panic I dropped my car keys in the sewer. Not only did I lose my keys, but the cake I made for a client is stuck inside the car. It's for a wedding, and they're arriving in the reception area in a few minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 179

You deserved it 486

Panic!

By Anonymous - 12/01/2011 13:29 - United States

Today, I was driving when I saw a spider hanging from the ceiling of my car. I'm terrified of spiders, so I was watching it instead the road. When I looked back at the road, I had just enough time to swerve to miss the fire hydrant but not the tree. Even the cops laughed at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 122

You deserved it 32 264

Public freakout

By Anonymous - 07/05/2021 06:00

Today, some punk got up in my face yelling at me, pushed my wife and scratched my car with a, "What you gonna do, old man?" attitude, and yet I’m the bad guy who gets arrested because I open-palm slapped him and he fell into a glass window and fucked up his face and neck, probably permanently. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 307

You deserved it 372

Quite the gamble

By Anonymous - 25/03/2011 19:25 - United States

Today, to celebrate my older sister's 21st birthday, my parents forced me to take the night off work so we could all go to the casino. Not only is this coming out of my vacation, I wasn't old enough to enter the casino, so I had to sit in the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 873

You deserved it 4 442

Neighborly

By Anonymous - 25/09/2025 22:00

Today, while working from home, I thought I heard someone knock at the door. Without thinking, I shouted, “I’m naked!” A moment later I heard my neighbor say, “Uh… I just wanted to tell you your car headlights are on.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 93

You deserved it 410

Doofus move

By Stickerman - 17/03/2022 14:00

Today, outraged about the high gas prices, I thought it would be funny to buy some stickers of Joe Biden saying, “I did that” to put them on the gas pumps next to the prices. I was caught by the owner, and am no longer welcome in that gas station for “vandalism.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 355

You deserved it 3 056

RIP Dave Prowse

By Davios - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I crossed a one-way street after looking for oncoming traffic, only to be hit by a car driving in reverse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 187

You deserved it 5 796

Gripes and strife

By Jordan - 20/03/2023 12:00

Today, my girlfriend was griping to me about being late for work. When I pointed out that she wouldn’t be late if she didn’t rely on someone else for a ride, she bitched me out about being “unsympathetic.” Did I mention she refused to learn to drive? FML

I agree, your life sucks 835

You deserved it 202

By Anonymous - 20/01/2016 05:05 - United States - Albuquerque

Today, I found out if a tree falls in the forest and there's nobody around, it does in fact make a sound, and also $5,000 worth of damage to your truck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 001

You deserved it 1 600

You'll get the hang of it

By meganisabella - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I went driving for the first time. I made it twenty miles to my stepmom's house, and didn't stop until I was inside the garage. Too bad the garage door was closed when I got there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 863

You deserved it 18 031

Thanks, I hate it

By effmylife - 23/10/2009 10:09 - United States

Today, I took my SUV in to get the oil changed, and the tires rotated. They allowed me to stay there, because they said it would only take 30 minutes. So I sit there in the waiting room, and I look through the window only to see my SUV falling off the lift, from 6 feet in the air. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 810

You deserved it 3 661

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Empathy Funerals Camping Sex Intimacy Relatable Awkward Work Embarrassing Poopoo peepee Coworkers Love Movies Facebook Neighbours Social Media Money First Dates Family Mental health Kids Sextoys You're fired Airplanes Ecology Management Weddings LGBTQIA+ Break-ups

The Top

Today, as usual, I'm stuck working in a brutally hostile work environment under my mother-in-law, who's never forgiven me for marrying her daughter. I only got the job because of family politics. Four months on, I still can't even land so much as a single interview elsewhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 060

You deserved it 1 719

Today, my husband and I were fooling around, and things got heated. In the heat of things, I told him to tear my panties off. He took it literally and yanked at them with all his might. It's been two hours and I still can't walk straight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 536

You deserved it 19 578

Today, my genius boyfriend was trying to remember a particular island in the Caribbean that was used by pirates in the past. I offered up Morocco. I heard him facepalm over the phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 663

You deserved it 55 347

Today, I looked outside with a grimace at the very heavy rainfall through which I had to trudge a long way. I waited ten minutes for it to let up, only to find it was getting heavier. So, I started walking anyway. After getting soaked to the bone, I walked through my door, and it stopped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 322

You deserved it 3 497

Today, good news! The guitar I have been saving up for, for 5 months, finally arrived. It came inside a beautiful black and white case, and impossible to get into without the key. They didn't pack the key. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 313

You deserved it 2 920

Today, I found out my boyfriend cheated on me. We're in the middle of nowhere and have a 4-hour drive home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 927

You deserved it 135