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Submit your FML

Have you just experienced an FML moment?

Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Your instinct was right, because it’s good to laugh life off. Follow the instructions below, and if your story gets through the moderation process, it'll published in the next 24 hours or so.


    Remaining characters: 320

    Your story must start with “Today,” and end with “FML”. TXT language is forbidden and spelling mistakes hurt people’s eyeballs, so the use of either would result in the direct dismissal of your FML. Don’t use this space for discussions, advertising or spam, or for posting anything which isn’t an FML. Furthermore, it’s not possible to obtain badges by posting keywords, so stop believing things you’ve read on message boards. Don’t try reposting old FMLs, we’re not that daft.


    Please read our guidelines for posting

    Bikes

    By Anonymous - 06/07/2009 19:21 - United States

    Spicy Spicy
    Today, being on my boyfriend's street bike for ten minutes gave me an orgasm. My boyfriend of three years, who constantly tries so hard to get me to, has never given me an orgasm. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 58 299
    You deserved it 7 303
    Share  

    Rekt

    By Shaun - 16/06/2009 02:13 - United States

    Today, I rode my bike to work. While biking on the road, I gave a hand signal for turning left. A car passing the opposite way veered towards me and attempted to give me a high five. I now have cuts all over my body and my bike is in two pieces. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 88 397
    You deserved it 6 178
    Share  

    Nature is harsh

    By fallsdownplenty45 - 02/06/2009 11:08 - Taiwan

    Today, I went biking. I attempted a large hill and lost control, slipped, and fell ten feet into a sewage pit. Riding home covered in crap, my sock caught my chain and I flipped over my bike. My dad had to spray me with the garden hose, bloody and shitty, in the front yard. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 72 966
    You deserved it 6 763
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    Keywords

    Miscellaneous Smartphone Money Thief Transportation Relatable Argument Love Mental health Bikes Cars Pranks Weird Awkward Spooky Family Christmas Kids Cats Animals Coffee Cute Clumsy Health Dogs Break-ups Coworkers Singing Work Bodyshaming
    The Top FMyLife FMyLife
    Today, my girlfriend, who is very self conscious about her body, finally decided to have sex with me. She told me to wait a few minutes, so I did. I stripped and turned around to find her in a one-piece swimsuit, with a hole cut out of the crotch. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 81 831
    You deserved it 8 528
    Today, my friend and I decided to wear a new red lipstick. The guy I like turned around, looked at her and said, "Red is a really interesting, sexy color. Pretty bold. Not bad." and he smiled. I waited, smiling also, only for him frown and say, "Your teeth are REALLY yellow." FML
    I agree, your life sucks 50 100
    You deserved it 17 596
    Random FMyLife FMyLife
    Today, I begged a coworker to let me borrow her lighter for my smoke break, since I'd lost mine. She was reluctant because of my track record of losing the darn things. After my break I stopped to use the restroom really quick, and promptly dropped the lighter into the toilet. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 19 057
    You deserved it 36 204
    Today, my husband, who's a recovering alcoholic, and I are on holiday with our kids. He's decided he can have a few drinks because he deserves "a holiday too". He doesn't see why this should ruin ours. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 30 658
    You deserved it 3 177
    Today, the blinker on my car was broken so I decided to play it safe and drive a different car to work. I guess it wouldn’t have mattered which car I drove, as the cop nicely told me one of the headlights was out when he pulled me over. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 3 023
    You deserved it 411
    I don't do surprises.
    I agree, your life sucks 271
    You deserved it 238
    Today, I thought I was seeing double. My neighbours got a new dog, which is exactly the same as the other one, except that it hates me twice as much. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 1 568
    You deserved it 146
    Today, I learned that the average human farts 15 times a day. I fart more than that within the first hour of the day, and that’s even after not eating anything for three days. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 772
    You deserved it 167
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