Awkward

There's more than one subject available

By Anonymous - 17/03/2022 12:00 - United States - Morganville

Today, I realized how bad my social skills are when I finally landed a date with my crush. We sat down to lunch, and I asked her what her favorite Marvel movies were. She gave a flat, "I don't like those movies." and we deadass sat there in silence for ten minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 596

You deserved it 930

Weird family

By Anonymous - 31/08/2022 04:00

Today, my cousin tried to hit on me. I told him that was inappropriate and pushed him off me. He was offended when I went to tell my folks. All they said was, “That’s fine. You should’ve let him.” Um, what? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 256

You deserved it 108

Rollercoaster ride

By Anonymous - 28/09/2019 06:00 - Australia

Today, I had had sex while sober for the first time in years. It was really awkward, bumpy, and I kept on apologizing for being so terrible. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 027

You deserved it 1 813

Oh, thanks…

By Whoops - 24/06/2009 20:44 - United States

Today, I lost it on my co-workers about how hard I've been working, picking up everyone's slack with no appreciation, and it was clear that I needed to find a job that actually rewarded hard work. As I went to grab my jacket to leave, I saw a cake and gift card for a cruise on the table, from the staff. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 149

You deserved it 72 951

Oddly specific gift

By Anonymous - 27/07/2024 20:00 - United States

Today, I gave a housewarming gift to my new neighbor, a cookbook titled "Quick and Easy Meals for the Busy Bachelor." He thanked me awkwardly and later mentioned that he and his husband have been married for ten years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 137

You deserved it 703

Love that for you

By gassy - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Aubrey

Today, I woke up after sleeping with my boyfriend for the first time. I rolled over and smiled at him, and the first thing he said was, "You farted. A lot." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 365

You deserved it 6 893

Thanks, I hate it

By Anonymous - 06/03/2011 11:28 - Reserved

Today, my husband told me I was lucky to have someone who would love me no matter what my vagina smelled like. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 686

You deserved it 23 009

Look what they did to my boy

By crying with laughter - 10/08/2022 18:00

Today, and since yesterday, I've received numerous tearful, and sometimes angry, phone calls from my mom. The calls were not about her health issues, my kids, or even my dad losing his job. No, she was angry-crying about the FBI raid at Trump's house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 370

You deserved it 196

Check this out!

By Anonymous - 15/04/2024 06:00

Today, my brother let us know his wife was in labour. I rang him a few hours later to ask how it was going. I wasn’t expecting him to switch to video chat to show me “The Miracle.” I now know what my sister-in-law's vagina looks like in the middle of birth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 564

You deserved it 141

Stank

By sadass - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, my boyfriend told me that my feet smell. He was in the next room at the time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 397

You deserved it 8 595

All in the family

By Anonymous - 23/08/2022 10:00 - Canada - Moose Factory

Today, I told my ex I was going to bed after a few drinks, and she ended up fucking my brother while I was asleep. What an awakening to hear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 246

You deserved it 187

Turn me on

By Anonymous - 06/04/2016 16:59 - United States - Meriden

Today, my girlfriend wanted to try having sex despite her serious body image issues. Unfortunately, I couldn't get it up due to how utterly terrified she looked. Now no matter what I say, she thinks it's all because her body is hideous. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 277

You deserved it 2 961

Denial

By Anonymous - 11/08/2022 06:00

Today, my wife is mad because some kid in a store offered her the seniors' discount and she got offended. I had to tell her she’s 66 years-old and is actually entitled to that discount, so she should calm the hell down. She’s not spoken to me in over 24 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 376

You deserved it 157

The heart wants what it wants

By Anonymous - 16/11/2023 14:00 - Portugal

Today, I realized I'm in love with both my boyfriend of several years as well with a guy I recently met, meaning I'm polyamorous (which I always kinda knew). The problem is I don't want to leave my current boyfriend, and I really want to be with the new guy, but both situations are incompatible, which is making me miserable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 214

You deserved it 1 220

Whatever it is, it's not enough

By mother of an idiot - 09/07/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, my second-grade daughter asked her teacher how much money she makes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 283

You deserved it 212

Turn around, Bright Eyes

By Alma - 01/10/2024 20:00 - Japan - Osaka

Today, I was at a karaoke bar. After a few drinks, I gave it a go. Halfway through “Total Eclipse of the Heart” I got so into it, I knocked over the mic stand. The mic flew off, hit the DJ, who then hit the emergency stop button, cutting off the music. I froze as the bar erupted into laughter. I did get a free Coke for my “performance,” which was something. FML

I agree, your life sucks 353

You deserved it 202

There's a time and a place

By Hanna - 03/04/2011 17:55 - United States

Today, while driving with my step mother, she attempted to have phone sex with my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 718

You deserved it 4 671

By Anonymous - 22/11/2014 18:18 - Ireland - Kilkenny

Today, I was having some rare good sex with my husband, when he suddenly said, "I'm fuckin' BORED," and pulled out so he could go play his video games. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 248

You deserved it 5 634

Let it all out

By Anonymous - 23/11/2023 10:00 - United Kingdom - Glasgow

Today, my hubby thought he made me queef during sex. I was too embarrassed ro tell him it was a fart I was holding in, but couldn’t once I orgsmed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 335

You deserved it 185

Love is… strange

By Anonymous - 25/08/2021 02:01

Today, I asked my sister if she could watch my son so I could surprise my boyfriend and take him out for dinner and maybe some sexy time afterwards. He didn't even know it was our 2-year anniversary. He doesn't care, neither do I. FML

I agree, your life sucks 833

You deserved it 319

Fight me, loser

By mrmidi - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I learned two important facts: #1 - A grown man can, in fact, get beaten up by a teenage girl, and #2 - If someone is convinced you are someone else, there is no telling them otherwise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 882

You deserved it 4 389

Awkward pause

By MothmanKirbaby - 10/04/2021 14:00

Today, a close friend called me to inform me of his newest relationship, and why he's kept it from me - he's been seeing his male cousin for several months and was tired of hiding it from the world. I had to keep my shock in check over the phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 015

You deserved it 160

Call CPS?

By ToxicNeighbors - 31/05/2025 12:00 - Germany

Today, my neighbour is a doctor and has a 2 year-old son. He has a stomach infection and has been crying non stop day and night for a week now. The woman is not taking him to the hospital or giving him medicines, because it's "just diarrhea" and will "go away." The crying is driving me mad. I can't sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 448

You deserved it 63

Spoke too soon

By Anonymous - 31/10/2021 17:00

Today, we're right now at the hospital because my sister had a miscarriage. Last night I announced on Instagram that I was going to be aunt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 989

You deserved it 515

Don't break my stuff

By erin - 30/11/2021 11:01

Today, I complained to my mom about her always acting cold towards me, and that it feels like she doesn’t love me anymore. Her response was, “You’re damn right I don’t, not since you broke my favorite glass last year.” She used to tell me she’d always love me no matter what. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 190

You deserved it 139

Keeping up with the Joneses

By Anonymous - 15/02/2022 00:01

Today, in our family group chat, my sister-in-law asked me what I got my new girlfriend for Valentine’s Day. Not long after, my brother called me pissed off about me making him look bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 922

You deserved it 96

Nerd

By cole - 24/04/2009 16:40 - United States

Today, I got approached by a hot young lady in a bar. After joking around for a few minutes she said, "Hey, I love your jacket, where'd you get that?" I then told her that it's actually a replica of the Indiana Jones jacket. This is when she remembered that she "had to go somewhere." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 548

You deserved it 61 621

I'm not worth it!

By TheBadGuyDuh - 03/08/2023 14:00

Today, ex-fiancee attempted to off herself because I dumped her for someone else. I’m getting blamed for it. They don’t understand that it wasn’t fair to her for me to string her along when I had feelings for someone else. She did this out her own free will. Yet, I’m the “bad guy.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 702

You deserved it 772

Caught in 4K

By Anonymous - 03/09/2024 09:00 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, I finally caught the person who has now and again been stealing my lunch at work for weeks. It was my boss. I awkwardly watched him eat my sandwich while he talked about how he's been "saving money by bringing food from home." FML

I agree, your life sucks 690

You deserved it 99

Awkwaaaaard

By notwhatithought - 21/08/2015 19:43 - Germany - Erlangen

Today, the professor I've had a crush on informed me that there's only one way left I could still pass his course. Thinking this was an attempt to flirt with me, I told him I'd do anything he could imagine. He then looked confused when he asked me to write an essay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 255

You deserved it 33 773

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Relatable Health Anger Annoying Hospital Marriage Family Love Awkward NSFW Parenting Sex Intimacy Mysterious Airport Cars Poopoo peepee Transportation My ex Parents Religion Mother in law School Kids Clothes Animals Embarrassing Management Capitalism Work

The Top

Today, while trying to explain to my friends what an anxiety attack is like, I had an anxiety attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 062

You deserved it 2 198

Today, while my mother's blind friend was waiting in our kitchen for my mom to come home, I thought it would be funny to talk to her in the nude. Turns out she's only blind in one eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 563

You deserved it 59 177

Today, I decided to prank my boyfriend by putting a pair of panties in his coat pocket. I stormed in and confronted him with the "evidence". I guess the prank worked; he broke down and confessed to cheating on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 482

You deserved it 44 761

Today, I wore a Super Mario Brothers T-shirt to school that showed a picture of Mario with a mushroom above his head. I got suspended for "referencing illegal drugs". FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 251

You deserved it 5 066

Today, I was asleep in my back garden and woke up when a bird landed on my hat and took a big shit right in my open mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 961

You deserved it 484

Today, I found a spider in my car the size of my hand. Help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 815

You deserved it 170