RitaS

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Ritas's favorite FMLs

By MiceMiles - 10/12/2015 12:34 - United States - Seattle

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend that miles are the same distance for everything. He thought that human miles were different than mouse miles, because they're smaller. He's 34. FML

agreeclassic 23 975

vote type 1 2 478

Morning!

By whydoihavecats - this FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, I found out what mouse intestines squashed against my bare feet feels like. FML

agreeclassic 26 843

vote type 1 2 728

By rexob - 04/02/2009 15:51 - United States

Today, I turned on my camera to find pictures of my dad's secretary giving him a blowjob. Minutes later, I hear a scream from another room as my 12-year-old sister discovers similar pictures on HER camera. Mom and dad say it's no big deal. FML

agreeclassic 245 519

vote type 1 13 947

rexob app_comment_confession_title

rexob 0

Monday 9 February 2009 23:13

thanks for all those who are genuinely concerned...i really appreciate it. i'm hanging in there, and hopefully my sister will be alright. we've been to therapy and i think it's helped her, but i don't know how this will come up later in life for us. again, i really appreciate those of you who took this seriously.

RIP

By funnnyyyyy -_- - this FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - Nepal - Kathmandu

Today, I was singing along to my favorite song when a giant bug flew into my mouth. I was so shocked, I almost swallowed it. After I was done freaking out, my sister wanted to throw the bug a big funeral for its "heroic sacrifice" in shutting me up. FML

agreeclassic 27 261

vote type 1 6 736

By jarkleflob - 16/08/2015 17:49 - United States - San Francisco

Today, at a quiet restaurant, my stepdad loudly told me he hopes in the future they have "hover caskets" so he doesn't have to carry my "fat ass" to the grave. All because I didn't want a side salad. FML

agreeclassic 25 382

vote type 1 2 344

jarkleflob app_comment_confession_title

jarkleflob 13

Monday 17 August 2015 14:41

Thank you all for the support! I would've never thought that this would get published. I first wanted to point out that we were on vacation out of state, very expensive vacation with a very expensive meal. Although that doesn't excuse his remarks/actions, I can see why he was in a bad mood. We had a pretty tense "vacation", there were a lot of people everywhere, foreigners that couldn't speak English, and a lot of things that my parents aren't open minded towards. I constantly have to remind my parents that "there is nothing you can do about it so don't worry about it". The comments you guys left were hilarious and I'm thankful for the ideas you gave - even if it wasn't the most serious.