Relatable, Parents, Cute and Kids: Too late

Too late

By John W. - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was driving my eight year-old son to school when a guy cut me off, prompting me to yell "Douche bag!" as a reflex out of the window. Realizing my mistake, I turned to my son and told him to never, ever talk like that. His response was, "Too late, douche bag." FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 675

You deserved it 47 179

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Same thing different taste

By blah blah daddy - 02/10/2010 23:08 - United States

Today, I picked up my four year old son from daycare. As I was putting him in his car seat, I asked him if he had fun. He yelled, "Shut it, bitch!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 459

You deserved it 10 387

Road rage

By Anonymous - 07/04/2024 06:00 - United States - Fredericksburg

Today, I had a “Fuck you” shouting match with a guy who'd tailgated me in the slow lane through an active school zone. I flipped him off when he finally passed, which admittedly wasn’t my best move. He ended up beside me, windows down, where we verbally sparred like teenagers in a dick swinging contest. Regrettably. FML

I agree, your life sucks 136

You deserved it 593

By Anonymous - 23/07/2016 23:04 - United States - Atlanta

Today, during a heated argument with my son, I lost my temper and called him a son of a bitch. He enthusiastically agreed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 886

You deserved it 19 356

Thanks for coming to my Ted talk

By helen_ - 23/04/2009 15:51 - United States

Today, I had to go to my 10 year-old son's school to talk about my job being a chef. As I was almost finished, I asked the kids "What would you like to do when you grow up?" Without hesitation one kid replied with a straight face, "Anything but being a douchebag like you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 553

You deserved it 6 065

AITA?

By Kathryn - 13/08/2011 10:31 - Belgium

Today, I was driving my twin daughters to school, when I accidentally honked my horn. I told them it was an accident, then one of my kids said she already knew, because I didn't yell "ASSHOLE!" afterwards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 410

You deserved it 41 203

Road rage gone feral

By 16590 - 15/06/2012 22:13 - Sweden

Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified, me or him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 377

You deserved it 4 855

By MathTeacher - 02/05/2011 14:30 - United States

Today, after being annoyed one too many times by my students' whiney attitudes, I accidentally blurted out, "Quit being such a bitch," to the superintendent's daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 086

You deserved it 46 146

By Emma Five - 14/03/2012 03:22 - United States

Today, my dad was driving me to college. I'd cracked a joke about how old people like him shouldn't be allowed to drive, and I guess he took it personally, what with him speeding straight up to the parking lot wall, and only braking after I started shrieking in terror. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 608

You deserved it 32 303

Rude boy

By Anonymous - 08/02/2015 19:16

Today, while shopping with my 6-year-old daughter, she said, "Mommy, remember you wanna get duck tape!" A middle-aged guy nearby scoffed and told her, "DUCT, not DUCK. Dumb cunt." I ended up having to drive my bawling daughter home, with no shopping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 646

You deserved it 3 773

By Zeco - 05/02/2011 22:54 - United States

Today, I was driving to work when I was almost hit by a teenage driver. I gave her the finger and shouted "F*** you!" making sure that she heard me. I then saw my boss glaring at me from the passenger seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 248

You deserved it 42 212

xMeganMayhem 6

Wednesday 12 October 2011 19:02

Way to go, douche bag.

Jk530 1

Wednesday 12 October 2011 19:00

I agree with your son.

Comments

2ndSucks 15

Wednesday 12 October 2011 19:31

Ooh snappy. I like your kid.

tj4234 35

Wednesday 12 October 2011 19:43

Lol. That kid is Badass. Is your kid Rambo by any chance?

bubo_fml 10

Wednesday 12 October 2011 19:55

As far as swear words in an 8 year old's lexicon goes, "Douche Bag" is pretty tame...A 6 year old once called me a "**** knuckle." I was simultaneously insulted & impressed!

mk58 31

Thursday 13 October 2011 1:56

This made me laugh out loud in a quiet library. Thanks for making everyone think I'm crazy, you **** knuckle.

speedbandit 6

Wednesday 12 October 2011 20:12

Sounds like 24 doesn't drive or know the traffic laws in the united states

txgirl09 5

Friday 14 October 2011 21:37

Sounds more like 24 is a complete dick who thinks they own the road and everyone else better have damn good breaks.

icic6772 0

Wednesday 12 October 2011 20:14

Wow what a douche

icic6772 0

Wednesday 12 October 2011 20:14

Wow what a douche

yeti0718 8

Wednesday 12 October 2011 20:16

Haha it's not appropriate but you have to admit it was a good quip.

Enslaved 36

Wednesday 12 October 2011 20:23

Saying curse words doesn't seem to be the problem, it's the 8 year old calling his dad a "douche bag". There's a difference between saying something/cursing out of reflex and calmly having a discussion with him, only to have the child reply with calling the dad a bad word in return. Very disrespectful!