firefox9778 - 16/02/2016 06:58 - United States - Louisville Today, I went snowboarding for the first time. It was a fun experience, minus the broken bones. FML 1 0
Today, I was on a one day business trip to America, literally, one day, I didn’t even need a hotel, just straight back to the airport. I woke up in hospital, an AMERICAN hospital, because I got a blood clot from the flight and needed surgery. The bill is astronomical and I’m uninsured. FML 713 151
Today, I fixed a tech support problem I was emailed about. I fixed it, then replied back to let them know, and let them know to use the ticketing system next time. They logged the same problem I just fixed not 5 minutes later. FML 760 157
Today, at the park, a toddler ran up to me yelling “Daddy!” and hugged my legs. Trying to be nice, I patted his head and said, “Hey, buddy, I’m not your dad.” His actual dad appeared behind me, wearing the same shirt, same haircut, and looked at me like I’d just tried to kidnap his child. FML 380 51
Today, I was walking home when an old guy came up to me asking for directions. After I pointed him in the right direction, he held my hand, stroked my face then pushed me into a bush. FML 31 776 2 982
Today, after masturbating in the shower, I heard my phone go off outside the bathroom. After my mom saw me get my phone to check my messages, she said, "I think you're addicted to that", to which I said, "But it feels so good and every guy does it." She was talking about how I text people a lot. FML 15 200 79 349