By ann - 06/04/2016 18:01 - United States Today, I got fired for over doing my job. FML agreeclassic 4 vote type 1 1 Share Tweet Share
Today, around 2:00 a.m. I had just sat down on my couch when I noticed one of my cats poking at what appeared to be a toy. I attempted to pick it up to play with the cat when it started to move like a mouse. I squealed like a girl and woke up my wife upstairs. I'm a 26-year-old man. FML agreeclassic 11 241 vote type 1 23 794
Today, I saw my mom sneaking meat into her spaghetti sauce. She told me she sneaks meat into most of the food she cooks. I've been a vegetarian for 8 years. FML agreeclassic 53 027 vote type 1 17 540
Today, I learned that when my girlfriend was a kid, she enjoyed torturing animals for fun. Nice to know she was lying when she said the idea of harming an animal “makes her sick to her stomach.” FML agreeclassic 977 vote type 1 119
Today, I went to the mall to pick up the 1 carat diamond my husband recently purchased for me after 6 years of being together. My mom called, I answered my cell. Later, I realized that the baggie with the diamond was no longer in my pocket. It fell out when I answered my phone. FML agreeclassic 23 180 vote type 1 32 857
Today, I lost my balance trying to get my bag out of my car. In doing so, my lips came in contact with some bird poop. FML agreeclassic 21 194 vote type 1 2 145
Today, I was transporting liquor between stores for work. A car pulled out and cut me off, causing me to slam on my brakes. My car stopped. The 200 dollars-worth of booze did not. FML agreeclassic 28 501 vote type 1 3 553