Today I am halfway across the country on day two of a two-week...

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By OnTheRoad - 22/08/2017 20:05

Today I am halfway across the country on day two of a two-week business trip. While calling my wife to wish her a good night she told me that she wanted to use this trip to start a "trial" separation. Not the surprise I was looking for.

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Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. More…

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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Today, I accidentally sent a very sexually explicit message to my online class because I thought I was typing in a different window. You can't delete messages. FML

agreeclassic 884

vote type 1 2 571

Today, while I was babysitting, the toddler was feeding me banana slices from her tray while I was cutting up clay for her to mold. It was all fine until she shoved something hard and crunchy into my mouth. I immediately spat it out into my hand. It was a dead cricket she found on the floor. FML

agreeclassic 66 661

vote type 1 10 791

Today, after opening up to my husband about my mental struggles after a difficult birth, I shed a few tears. He left me there to go take a nap. FML

agreeclassic 536

vote type 1 105

Today, I'm travelling across the country with my family. My grandma thought it would be a good idea to take her shoes off. It's been 5 minutes and my eyes are watering from the stench. We still have over 200 miles left until we get home. FML

agreeclassic 21 994

vote type 1 1 578

Today, I saw a creepy guy grab a woman's ass on the bus, so I caught his arm and put him in an arm lock, only for the woman to hit me in the head with her handbag. Turns out they were a married couple on their way home to have sex, and who couldn't resist a quick grope during the journey. FML

agreeclassic 4 113

vote type 1 4 726

Today, I thought I'd patched up the hole in my window pretty well. That is, until I heard a buzzing noise in my room. There was a huge ass bee that somehow got inside and was trying to escape. I would've helped, but I'm terrified of bees, and I'm now afraid to enter my room. FML

agreeclassic 349

vote type 1 219