My boyfriend and I are on a road trip and spent the night in... - FML

Content almost refused by staff

By hens14 - 22/01/2020 06:51

My boyfriend and I are on a road trip and spent the night in Texas. While having sex, I have a huge orgasm and he proudly says “everything is bigger in Texas!”. He’s not wrong, but I laughed so hard I wasn’t sure if I’d be able to get him to finish too.

agreeclassic 56

vote type 1 23

The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. More…

Previous FML Next FML

TOP COMMENTS

No comments yet.

Comments

No comments yet.

VDM sur Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Top

Top

Today, after a month of sobriety, I woke up in my ex-girlfriend's house with absolutely no recollection as to how I got there. FML

agreeclassic 1 432

vote type 1 723

Today, my boss confirmed he is a micro-managing asshole. We walked into the office together and I turned on the lights. He switched them off and switched them on again, just to make sure that I did it right. FML

agreeclassic 25 070

vote type 1 1 674

Today, our baby cries constantly, except for when our grumpy old feral tom cat comes over to lay beside her, lick her head and so on. This bastard cat is the most ornery sumbitch I've ever met and bites worse than a bear trap, yet he's a better dad than I am. Plus, he looks so damn smug while he's doing it. FML

agreeclassic 924

vote type 1 265

Today, my pregnant girlfriend and I moved into our first home together, signing a 1-year lease. Less than 12 hours later, we've discovered that the place is infested with cockroaches and we have a mouse. The landlord won't let us out of the contract. FML

agreeclassic 30 411

vote type 1 5 254

Today, I was being drug tested as part of a pre-employment policy for substitute teaching. Once I had peed in the cup enough to pass the line, I put it on the only available space: the toilet paper holder. Trying to get toilet paper, I knocked the cup over, spilling pee all over myself. FML

agreeclassic 1 539

vote type 1 926

Today, my drunk father chased me down the street with my little brother's light saber screaming, "Come back Yoda! Teach me how to use the force!" FML

agreeclassic 41 981

vote type 1 4 900