Hidekils

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Hidekils's favorite FMLs

By RC3Welly - 09/03/2012 22:58 - United States

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 799

You deserved it 1 936

By Anonymous - 27/05/2009 22:44 - United States

Today, my kitten was playing with the drawstring on my pajama pants. He then jumped, clinging on to my crotch. I screamed in pain, which scared him and made him hold on tighter. My cat was literally hanging from my vagina with its claws for a good 30 seconds before I could pry him off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 745

You deserved it 8 174

By kandykrazed17 - 23/05/2009 12:14 - United States

Today, I was leaving work when some creeper start following me. When he asked me for my name, I immediately gave him a fake one. He just laughed and said “I hope to see you soon.” He used my real name. First AND last. I was still wearing my name tag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 241

You deserved it 29 406

kandykrazed17 tells us more.

kandykrazed17 0

Saturday 23 May 2009 23:16

lol first of all i work at a WAMU where our name tags give our full name so no lies there. secondly, this guy was twice my age. i was not being bitchy at all. he said hi and then i smiled and said hi back. it's one thing when you greet someone. it's another when you keep following them asking personal questions. i didn't give a fake name on purpose. it was just a natural reaction. lol but yea i guess it wasn't smart to walk out with my name tag still on. o and btw not to be rude but i took AP english so i'm pretty sure i know how to use “proceeded” in a sentence correctly. it's not my fault if other ppl don't or overuse it.

By Anonymous - 22/05/2009 22:24 - United States

Today, I decided to give my virginity to my boyfriend of four months, because I told him I loved him. Two minutes after he'd pulled out, he grabs his cell and mass texts "I FINALLY GOT LAID!". FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 247

You deserved it 26 334

In transit

By Kens - 20/05/2009 00:51 - Canada

Today, I was on the bus home and on the phone with my best friend discussing my sex life with this new guy I'm seeing. I was telling her all sorts of raunchy sex things we've done until someone taps my shoulder and says "I'm sure he doesn't appreciate you saying this in public." It was his mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 364

You deserved it 107 172