MyLifeIsRubbish

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I don't need a stalker, thank you!, England
29 years-old
Thursday 29 February 1996
Not specified

About Mylifeisrubbish

I have the two most irrational parents in the world. The meanest but best friend in the world. I have two dogs and two cats. An older brother by four years. I am a complete atheist. As soon as I'm aloud to vote, I'm going Tory! I am a firm beleiver I will never get drunk as I manage to look like a complete tool sober. I am only sexist when it works in my favor. I do no sport at all. My philosophies for life: If at first you don't suceed, redefine success! When someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles to frown, yet only 4 to bitch slap that mother F****er! A few queries: Why didn't Tarzan have a beard? What do veggies feed their pets? Can mute people burp? Why does the Easter Bunny carry eggs? As far as I know they're mammals. If corn oil is made from corn, vegitable oil is made from vegetables, what's baby oil made from? For Clarification: Despite the topic of most of my favourate FMLs I am not a sex obsessed perv! I am not a facist!

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Mylifeisrubbish's FML badges

It's in the can!

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

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Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

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You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

The return of the thumb

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

One more and it's business time

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Mylifeisrubbish's favorite FMLs

By jilted - 21/03/2009 07:15 - United States

Today, my husband of 9 years announced he was gay. He insinuated that he was only able to achieve erections because I looked like a man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 560

You deserved it 45

By whatdoyoudo - 16/03/2009 04:39 - United States

Today, I was filling out paperwork with my new doctor. During the questionnaire, she asked if I was sexually active. I said yes. She then asked, "What do you do?" I told her I normally did vaginal, but sometimes anal. She blushed and started to laugh. She was asking where I worked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 271

You deserved it 47 311

whatdoyoudo tells us more.

whatdoyoudo 2

Wednesday 18 March 2009 15:34

ok. i am the poster and i'll answer some of your questions by prividing a little background: 1. I am a male 2. My doctor is female 3. She also has the best sense of humor I have seen in a physician 4. She is also my parents doctor 5. I told my parents this story 6. she will NEVER live it down

Stop talking!

By Noname - 12/03/2009 11:24 - New Zealand

Today, my mom told my boyfriend all about how she had to be a parent volunteer when I was in kindergarten. Apparently I used to masturbate in class by rubbing myself against the edges of chairs and tables. The teacher thought it would be best if my mom was there to make me stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 157 329

You deserved it 18 063

By jf29 - 31/01/2009 00:49 - United States

Today, I drunkenly buried my girlfriend's recently deceased cat. Later she asked to see it and came back inside crying. It turns out I didn't bury it completely and its two back legs were poking out of the dirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 647

You deserved it 46 815

By Timmy - 26/01/2009 13:28 - France

Today, I got caught stealing lollies. I am 25. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 485

You deserved it 59 492