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Anonymous - 17/09/2010 06:57 - Australia

Today, whilst at my awards night, I got a boner, right as it was my turn to accept my award. To avoid a awkward situation, I flipped it up and under my belt. This failed to make the situation any less awkward, because the head of my penis poked out through my shirt, in plain view of the audience. FML

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dblac74

dblac74 0

Saturday 18 September 2010 0:49

Hey guys, im the OP lol. To clarify: Insanely hot chick next to me haha. Also I had a button up shirt, and initialy it was small enough not to matter, but the effin thing didnt stop growing haha. And for those who suggested it: No. Didnt get laid. Got a nickname at work though, "Jack in the box". ...once more for the record, FML.

gtfb1993 - 02/12/2011 22:21 - Canada

Today, I was at the laundromat, when an attractive girl set up at the machine next to mine. She looked me up and down, then noticed the skid-marks on my underwear. FML

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pops up - 01/12/2011 22:25 - United States

Today, I sat on Santa's lap. He got an erection. FML

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Driving is expensive

Bladerunner - 01/12/2011 09:49 - United States

Today, my car was towed. After taking a cab all the way to the lot for $45 and paying the $250 fee to get my car back, my car broke down in the impound lot and needed to be towed to the nearest shop, where it took another $200 to fix, and $50 for the towing. I still have a 3-hour drive home. FML

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Anonymous - 01/12/2011 03:11 - United States

Today, I was casually shopping at Walmart. Everything was normal until the young guy browsing the aisle next to me suddenly approached me and whispered "sperm" into my ear. My spine has never experienced a chill like this one before. FML

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