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Food guilt

By Anonymous - 08/02/2026 09:00

Today, my husband is out with his buddies so I decided to have a solo night in and ordered Uber Eats for dinner. Two hours later, I was craving cheesecake and ordered through Uber Eats again like a little food gremlin. I got the same delivery guy, who now knows EXACTLY what I did. I'm hiding in my house until he leaves. FML

I agree, your life sucks 97

You deserved it 416

Checking in

By Sarah - 09/08/2025 00:00 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, I joined a Zoom call thinking it was a casual check-in. I was wearing a hoodie, sat cross-legged on my bed, and was sipping wine. I realised as it began that it was a formal client presentation with the CEO present. No one said anything… until after. FML

I agree, your life sucks 97

You deserved it 688

M'ladies…

By Anonyme - 07/06/2025 15:00 - United States - Anaheim

Today, I was at brunch when I heard a table of women laughing loudly and swearing. I went over and politely told them that their language was unattractive and unladylike. They laughed like hyenas and cussed me out until I walked back to my table. At this rate, I’ll never find a decent wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 96

You deserved it 1 625

Grab it while you can

By Leann - 07/03/2026 22:00

Today, I had a blind date with someone who asked me for an evening out back on Valentine's Day. I was happy to have a date related to a special day. The catch: my date is a woman I know from work who has a crush on me. Should I feel good I agreed to time with another woman, or bad that it's my only date in 3 years? FML

I agree, your life sucks 96

You deserved it 270

I'm fine, I swear

By Duped - 06/01/2026 15:00

Today, I realized the reason my neighbor keeps smiling awkwardly at me is because I’ve been waving enthusiastically at their security camera every morning, thinking it was a motion-activated light. FML

I agree, your life sucks 96

You deserved it 353

Anger management classes going well?

By Annageewhiz34 - 23/04/2025 18:00 - United States

Today, I saw the guy I met on Tinder and went out with, only to be told “I’m not ready for a relationship, let’s just be friends” out on a date kissing another girl. I interrupted the date to rip him a new one for lying to me, only to be escorted out by the restaurant manager. FML

I agree, your life sucks 96

You deserved it 1 078

Dramatic

By Anonymous - 28/01/2026 15:00

Today, while I was making a TikTok about motherhood, I accidentally dropped my 3-month-old baby. Upon learning what had happened, my understandably upset husband now won't talk to me, and I'm in the hospital on my knees, praying that my son makes it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 96

You deserved it 1 091

Too tough

By Too tough - 18/01/2026 12:00

Today, I was working construction and tried lifting something I knew was too heavy. My back seized up, and I had to lie down on a pile of plywood while my coworkers stood around pretending not to laugh. The foreman filled out the incident report and titled it “ego-related.” I had to read it before signing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 95

You deserved it 503

Wrong time, same place

By Anonymous - 19/04/2025 15:30 - India

Today, I printed 500 event posters with the wrong venue because I copied from last year’s file. Client needs them by tomorrow. Now I’m pulling an all-nighter reprinting everything. Coffee is my only friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 95

You deserved it 680

Kinda cruel

By TGIF - 22/11/2025 22:00

Today, I overheard coworkers talking about someone showing up with lettuce or something in their teeth. I laughed and joked it “could never be me.” Later, in the bathroom mirror, I discovered I’d had the same exact green blob stuck between my front teeth for hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 95

You deserved it 386

Smash the patriarchy

By Anonymous - 25/11/2025 03:00

Today, I explained to my teenage daughter that enough was enough and she needed to start shaving her armpits again, stating it was unladylike and unsanitary. Her only response was, "If it's so unsanitary, why don't you make my brother do it?" I give up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 95

You deserved it 1 232

Concerning

By Anonymous - 22/07/2025 02:00 - United Kingdom

Today, during sex I wasn’t really into it so I was letting my mind wander and it randomly settled on my sister's birthday and how I needed to buy a gift. As my husband seemed like he was about to finish, I faked my orgasm and accidentally moaned my sister's name. He heard me, so now he’s "concerned". FML

I agree, your life sucks 95

You deserved it 485

So, when a man loves a woman…

By Gwen - 01/08/2025 21:00 - Russia - Kolomna

Today, I'm really puzzled about explaining what he saw to our 6-year old. So, he walked in on us mid-sex, which itself would be barely acceptable if there were only the two of us, his married parents, but actually a dead drunk threesome between my husband, his best male friend, and me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 95

You deserved it 598

I should've known

By I hate it too - 25/01/2026 12:00

Today, and every day for the past five months since I got married, whenever my husband and I try to have sex, I think of it as "wifely duties" and it turns me off so much. I can't stop, and we haven't had sex once. My husband is frustrated and angry, and keeps commenting that he should have known this would happen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 94

You deserved it 461

Sorry Sweaty

By Anonymous - 08/11/2025 22:00

Today, I got lost on my way to a wedding and yelled at my phone's GPS for giving bad directions. After 20 minutes of rerouting, I realized I’d accidentally set it to “walking mode.” I arrived 45 minutes late and sweaty in a full suit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 94

You deserved it 484

False alarm

By Bad nurse - 18/01/2026 22:00

Today, I spent ten minutes comforting a patient’s family member, reassuring them everything was under control. When I went to leave, I realized I’d been leaning on the call button the entire time. Three other nurses ran in ready for an emergency while I was mid-sentence about coping strategies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 94

You deserved it 326

Suspicious activity

By Anonymous - 26/09/2025 22:00

Today, a guy cut me off on the freeway, so I followed him, intent on confronting him. He turned off and went down a side road… right to the gate of a government base, which opened. I did a U-turn and hauled ass, only to get stopped by cops and grilled relentlessly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 94

You deserved it 791

Brainrot

By Anonymous - 21/06/2025 12:00 - United States - Spokane

Today, I called my new boyfriend by my ex’s name. Twice. In the same conversation. I’m having trouble saying anything while looking at him in the eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 94

You deserved it 494

Silver linings, eh?

By Take Me With You - 29/11/2025 09:00

Today, I found my sister online after over a year of no contact. Our other sister framed her, getting our parents to kick out and disown her. Her childhood sweetheart and his mom took her in, and is now living a life of luxury with them abroad, while we live off government checks, which BARELY cover bare basics. FML

I agree, your life sucks 94

You deserved it 632

Stinky

By Barney - 19/09/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, while in a bathroom stall at work, I pulled out my phone to play Candy Crush. Somehow, I hit the volume button, and my phone blasted a YouTube ad for men’s body spray. The whole room went silent. Then I heard someone say, “You need it, son.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 93

You deserved it 403

The trifecta

By Anonymous - 18/10/2025 20:00

Today, trying to battle this addictive social media act, I currently have only one profile with my name or face. In my phone the apps I have are FML, Grindr, and Pokémon Go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 93

You deserved it 294

This is fine

By Ouch - 29/05/2025 14:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my wife and I are too much alike. We're both too stubborn to accept any olive branch from each other, even though all we want is to make up, so we just live in this mutual self-inflicted hell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 93

You deserved it 671

Happiest day of my life

By Stevey - 17/08/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, during a moment of silence at a wedding, my phone rang at full volume. My ringtone? The Jurassic Park theme. Everyone turned to stare as I fumbled desperately to shut it off. The bride spent the rest of the ceremony giving me the side-eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 93

You deserved it 692

Kidmaxxing

By Good mom - 05/03/2026 03:00

Today, my husband and I had a huge fight. I have a son from a previous relationship who he loves, but he wants more kids. My son is 9, almost 10, he's so used to being my baby that I can't bring myself to take that from him by having another baby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 93

You deserved it 914

Third place

By Ali - 19/05/2025 04:00 - Romania - Bucharest

Today, my husband came home and sat in his car out front for fifteen minutes. I went and knocked on the door, asking what he was doing. Apparently, I always dump so much shit on him the second he walks in the door that he needs a little peace between work and coming home to me. Ungrateful ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 93

You deserved it 1 794

Ten pages?

By Anonymous - 17/12/2025 03:00

Today, I emailed my resume to a recruiter but attached a ten-page stream-of-consciousness grocery list instead. The recruiter replied, “Interesting priorities.” Now I’m on a three-email chain where everyone is debating whether olives belong in banana bread and asking about my sandwich preferences. FML

I agree, your life sucks 93

You deserved it 390

Perverted justice

By Anonymous - 23/06/2025 20:00 - Netherlands

Today, I pretended to be a little girl on social media, just for fun. All I got was a random guy who sent me a direct message and asked me to send a photo of my private parts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 93

You deserved it 569

In and out

By Maddison - 09/03/2026 09:00

Today, I had a double cheeseburger with a side of onion rings for lunch. Thirty minutes later my body reacted by giving me a bellyache and a HUGE need to shit. The good news, it was a normal pooh; it's just when I eat big, I go big. Bad. I was in his car with my guy when I "let go". He definitely noticed & smelled it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92

You deserved it 423

Get back to work, slacker!

By ??? - 06/08/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, I was in the bathroom at work, humming to myself while scrolling through memes. I started laughing and I said out loud, “You’re so stupid” to my phone. Someone in the next stall said, “Excuse me?” and I had to fake a cough and flush just to escape. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92

You deserved it 528

Sometimes, it's better to say nothing

By Lauren - 05/09/2025 09:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I got into an elevator with a stranger. The silence was so awkward that I muttered, “Sometimes I pretend I’m on a reality show.” The stranger just stared at me until the doors opened. We work on the same floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92

You deserved it 497

FML on Facebook

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I ate 30 chocolate pocket brownies, two caramel chocolates, two Budweisers. All of that while on my breaks at work. I'm a guy and I'm worried about getting diabetes while i'm actually craving more chocolate and sugar treats, my body is getting weaker, I'm getting dumber, fatter, and slower as we speak. FML

I agree, your life sucks 294

You deserved it 1 216

Today, I tried to kill a spider by throwing a shoe at it. All it did was slice the spider's egg sac open, releasing all its babies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 720

You deserved it 15 141

Today, I have been trying to get pregnant for 4 years. I’ve gone through numerous expensive fertility treatments with no success. A former friend of mine owes me almost $2K. I’ve asked for the money back numerous times so that I can use it to pay for another round of IVF. She won’t pay. She just announced that she's pregnant.. FML

I agree, your life sucks 502

You deserved it 136

Today, I woke up to the sound of my own voice yelling, “GET UP, YOU LAZY CUNT!” on repeat. It took me a moment to remember I'd drunkenly recorded my own alarm last night because I thought it would “motivate” me. It scared me so much I fell off the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 101

You deserved it 483

Today, my mom called me to the laundry room after she saw a dead animal in there. I took a look and agreed we should call animal control. After ten minutes of freaking out, they finally arrived to confirm that the dead animal was the hood to my winter jacket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 232

You deserved it 42 253

Today, I attended a new class at college. It was a class to help people with Asperger's adjust to college, which my parents pushed me into taking. It was incredibly condescending and insulting, and it felt like a class for preschoolers. My parents won't let me drop the class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 910

You deserved it 3 050