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When you're a hammer, everything looks like a nail

By Anonymous - 30/12/2025 12:00

Today, my dad insists he knows best when it comes to DIY, since he is a big mathematics professor, while I am a mere labourer with dozens of City and Guilds qualifications. He owns one hammer, an unopened screwdriver set, and a wood saw with a broken handle, but sure, he knows better than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 400

You deserved it 81

I can't breathe

By Anonymous - 14/12/2025 20:00

Today, my parents promised to drive me to my grandma's house instead of me taking the bus.I was so excited that I could finally have a week away from my suffocating parents but my dad cancelled tonight, so I'm stuck and secretly crying because if they'd have let me take the bus, I'd be at my grandma's, AWAY FROM THEM. FML

I agree, your life sucks 398

You deserved it 76

Moving on

By Mourning Myrtle - 13/12/2025 15:00

Today, my father publicly announced his engagement to his new girlfriend. My mom passed away not even eight months ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 396

You deserved it 115

Bad dad

By Anonymous - 23/12/2025 22:00

Today, my ex complained that the kids cry too much when they’re with him, so I must be telling them bad things about him. Well maybe if he showed up more than once every 6-8 months, the kids would know him better and be more comfortable with him. Court says I still have to continue give him access. FML

I agree, your life sucks 395

You deserved it 82

Cute

By Zai Sensei - 13/12/2025 12:00

Today, an anonymous complaint got me not only in the brink of getting fired, but also possible incarceration. I'm a preschool teacher. What happened? As I saw my students off, one of my students suddenly gave me a kiss goodbye (on the lips) as she happily ran off. Someone who saw that probably wasn't pleased. FML

I agree, your life sucks 391

You deserved it 75

Heavy sleeper

By Anonymous - 13/12/2025 03:00

Today, I was startled awake by some overzealous do-gooder trying to shove Narcan up my nose. I wasn’t OD’ing. I don’t even do drugs. I’m just an exhausted full-time student with a night job trying to get home on the bus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 390

You deserved it 81

Infectious

By Looupyloou - 07/01/2026 12:00

Today, it's day four of liquid ass and violent hurling after I hosted a birthday party for my daughter, and one of the kids brought a stomach virus rather than a present. Yesterday my daughter started with the violent vomiting too. Everything smells like vomit in my home. Yay me! FML

I agree, your life sucks 388

You deserved it 67

Dodge

By Steve - 17/12/2025 00:00

Today, a girl I knew in high school who now lives out of state came to town to visit and stay over. We've been talking albeit romantically for the past few months. Not thirty minutes after we arrived at my place from the airport, her ex-boyfriend came by and she hopped in his car. I haven't heard from her since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 387

You deserved it 100

Good deed of the day

By Anonymous - 20/12/2025 15:00

Today, my distant relatives found out that I had turned down an inheritance from my long estranged father. I didn't feel it was right so I asked the lawyer to make it a donation to WFP. Relatives I'd never met and some I didn't even know about are now all over my socials about how I "insulted the memory" of their uncle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 387

You deserved it 105

Good luck with that

By Anonymous - 12/12/2025 20:00

Today, I got an email from a company that fired me over two weeks ago. It turns out they forgot to download all my work before deleting my account, and they want me to get it back off the cloud. FML

I agree, your life sucks 383

You deserved it 67

Disrespect

By Anonymous - 24/12/2025 03:00

Today, I found out my boyfriend of three and a half years is talking to two other women. I’m four months postpartum. Not to mention, he took our child to go see one of his girl best friend's house, when I specifically asked him not to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 380

You deserved it 144

I'm your man

By Anonymous - 31/12/2025 09:00

Today, I had a fourth and final round interview for a well paying job for which I'm very qualified that I need because my own business in the same field fell off a cliff after 15 straight successful years. The woman who interviewed me hated me from the start and lied about my analysis on simple things in her report. I didn't get the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 380

You deserved it 79

Not great

By poopsquirt404 - 06/01/2026 00:00

Today, my friend and I flew home from India ten days early. I got cholera and she got groped twice and followed back to our accommodations by a gang of men. So much for our exotic overseas trip… FML

I agree, your life sucks 375

You deserved it 209

Evil is amongst us

By Anonymous - 12/12/2025 15:00

Today, I had to sit and listen to a coworker tell me about how disappointed she is her daughter is a lesbian and wondering if anyone still does those "pray it away" camps. I work in HR so I couldn’t even call her an evil, bigoted witch, because I know I’m the one who’d lose my job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 373

You deserved it 160

Paralysed

By Worthless - 16/12/2025 22:00

Today, I sat on the sofa for eleven hours, paralyzed with anxiety. When my husband got home, nothing was done. We ate cold sandwiches off paper plates. Now he has to catch up on everything and I feel so useless I could just cry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 372

You deserved it 235

Lemons

By Leah Magers - 29/12/2025 22:00

Today, my husband and I were finally about to put our house on market because we have killed our savings on moving and two mortgages for the past couple of months. Then the pipes burst. Awesome. FML

I agree, your life sucks 370

You deserved it 60

Wicked

By Brenna - 15/12/2025 03:00

Today, I was giving my fiancé some change from my wallet. When I went to hand it to him, he was standing a few feet away from me, so in my best witch voice I said, “Come closer, my child.” Then he got really offended and embarrassed because he thought I was making fun of the size of his junk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 370

You deserved it 89

Foot in mouth

By Anonymous - 30/12/2025 00:00

Today, I made an offhand comment to a close friend about having to keep a close eye on my toddler so he “doesn’t kill himself.” As the words escaped my lips, I realized that this was the same friend whose husband shot himself in the face five months ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 369

You deserved it 231

To be fair and balanced…

By Anonymous - 01/01/2026 00:00

Today, I found out my husband is still friends with someone who talks a lot of crap about me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 363

You deserved it 83

Rough night

By Anonymous - 22/12/2025 00:00

Today, I went to bed early, proud of myself for being responsible. However, I lay there wide awake replaying every awkward moment from the past ten years, including things no one else can possibly remember. I checked the clock at 3:47 AM and had to wake up at 6. FML

I agree, your life sucks 360

You deserved it 96

Not my fault!

By Anonymous - 22/12/2025 12:00

Today, I tried to be helpful by holding the door open for a woman carrying boxes. She smiled and hurried toward me, then tripped and dropped everything at my feet. She stared at me like I'd caused it, and said, “Thanks” through clenched teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 358

You deserved it 83

Gimme a human

By I HATE THESE BOTS - 03/01/2026 22:00

Today, I spent ten minutes annoyingly arguing with a customer service chatbot, demanding to speak to a real human. When a real human finally joined, they opened with, “So... I see you’ve been yelling at my robot.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 355

You deserved it 113

Such a rush

By Later! - 16/12/2025 20:00

Today, I woke up late and rushed to catch the bus. I sprinted heroically, slipped on wet pavement, and skidded directly into a puddle deep enough to baptize me. The driver waited just long enough to make eye contact before closing the doors and leaving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 348

You deserved it 75

Everyone's an expert

By Anonymous - 08/01/2026 03:00

Today, and for this past week, I've had multiple people tell me all I needed to do to cure my incredibly rare chronic illnesses was some essential oils. Putting those 'medications' aren’t going to do anything. They then proceeded to give me more advice on how to treat a kidney transplant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 347

You deserved it 51

Moving on fast

By Anonymous - 09/01/2026 03:00

Today, my dad's new girlfriend, who he met in Vegas, flies in. My mother is still alive in a dementia care facility. I don't know how to feel about this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 340

You deserved it 51

Messy bitches

By Please explain - 24/12/2025 09:00

Today, I don't understand how my wife and son are incapable of opening any kind of packaging without tearing it to shreds. If they open a box of cereal or a bag of chips, it looks like a dog got hold of it. How? FML

I agree, your life sucks 340

You deserved it 67

Stiff competition

By Anonymous - 23/12/2025 20:00

Today, my husband has erectile dysfunction and is too scared to see a local doctor to get prescription helpers. He wants me to fly to another country and buy them over the counter for him instead! And I'm travelling next week. Not sure which is worse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 336

You deserved it 93

PERVERTS!

By Anonymous - 22/12/2025 20:00

Today, my dad decided that the opportunity to screw his new girlfriend in a church cemetery in daylight hours was more important than being on time to walk me down the aisle at my wedding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 330

You deserved it 65

Burn or drown?

By Xenocide - 25/12/2025 03:00

Today, I almost burned down my speakers. How, you ask? Well, some asshole at the party (I was the DJ) decided to trip me as I walked to the stage, causing me to knock my speakers into the pool. FML

I agree, your life sucks 330

You deserved it 83

Life on the North Pole

By Late for work (at least I had an excuse) - 11/12/2025 22:00

Today, after a snowstorm, I went to start my car early in the morning for work. The door was frozen solid, so I had to jimmy it open with a screwdriver. Then, as I started to drive off, my foot slipped off the clutch and the car stalled out. The battery was too weak to start it again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 330

You deserved it 80

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The Top

Today, after I'd saved up and frontloaded working hours for two weeks to ensure I'd have time and funds to go to a local show on my birthday, I received a call letting me know my father had a heart attack and was dying. He did pass away, at around 5AM on the morning of my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 103

You deserved it 116

Today, my bathroom flooded. I frantically cleaned my apartment as fast as I could before the plumber arrived. Everything was finally clean when I let him in. It wasn't until after he finished that I noticed I'd left my anal beads in the shower. There's no way he didn't notice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 880

You deserved it 58 908

Today, I'm being paid to watch paint dry. I work for military defense, and the door l just painted is an opening for a secure lab, so has to be monitored nonstop. This cannot happen until the paint dries. The U.S. government is literally paying me to watch paint dry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 092

You deserved it 365

Today, my 12-year-old son was shot in the foot. After hours of not talking, including to the police, he finally told us that his friend accidentally shot him with his dad's gun, and that he didn't want to say anything because he didn't want to "lose any street cred by snitching." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 022

You deserved it 6 757

Today, my friend posted my picture on Craigslist under the "men seeking men" section. I got 16 replies with 2 hours. He then decided to post another picture of me under "men seeking women" to compare results. The only reply I got was from a man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 779

You deserved it 4 166

Today, I met my wife's other husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 494

You deserved it 3 508