When you have to raise the bar... By Lewis - 27/12/2018 19:00 - France - Paris Not much though... Just a bit higher. I agree, your life sucks 261 You deserved it 114 Share Tweet Share
Today, I babysat a five year-old girl. She ran up to me, threw her arms around my waist and said, "YUMMY! I'm going to eat you!" with her face in my crotch. I said sarcastically under my breath, "Finally, some action!" I turned around to find her dad staring at me, having heard. He's my cousin. FML I agree, your life sucks 20 317 You deserved it 93 042
Today, I was supposed to have sex with my ex after he’d been out of town for a week. After a lot of build up and sexting last night, I woke up sick and he hurt his leg. It’s like our bodies are telling us not to sleep together. FML I agree, your life sucks 895 You deserved it 2 457
Today, I desperately needed to pee, but my mom was in the bathroom taking a shower, so I waited patiently until she finished. Just as I was about to go in, my half-naked dad rushed ahead, said "Going somewhere, son?" and shut the door on me. FML I agree, your life sucks 26 759 You deserved it 2 766
Today, my husband sat me down to tell me he’s filing for divorce as he’s fallen out of love with me and loves my 19 year-old daughter (his step-daughter). Furthermore, I’m off the lease when it expires next month so they can live together. We have a 2 month-old son. He replied, “OK, and? I’ll pay child support.” FML I agree, your life sucks 923 You deserved it 123
Today, my mom walked into my room without knocking to have a whole conversation about some distant relative's birthday in 3 months time. The whole time I had my bullet vibe still up inside me, so I had to talk to my mom while trying not to react to having an orgasm in front of her. FML I agree, your life sucks 455 You deserved it 152
Today, I checked into my flight early. The kiosk asked me if I wanted an earlier flight for $50. Awesome. I swiped my card then continued to the next screen where I was informed my new flight was delayed to the same time as my original flight. FML I agree, your life sucks 39 044 You deserved it 6 013
Savage
she sounded like a lamb after kissing that bar with her head.....