Too Much Sugar By FML Approved - 20/10/2017 22:00 - United States - New York Sometimes all you can do is sit back and let them get it out of their systems. I agree, your life sucks 473 You deserved it 111 Share Tweet Share
Today, I had a stranger scream at me that I was a whore and I was trying to steal her boyfriend. She then said my full name, stating my previous hair colour, my recent activities and that her boyfriend had been my year nine dance partner. I officially have a stalker. FML I agree, your life sucks 42 725 You deserved it 3 692
Today, after locking myself out of my house, I let myself into my car to wait on someone with a spare key. It took me 15 minutes to realise the house and car key share the same ring. FML I agree, your life sucks 21 602 You deserved it 17 531
Today, after some great sex, my boyfriend mused: "You know, from this position, I could punch you in the cunt and you wouldn't be able to stop me." I could only relax when he finally fell asleep nearly an hour later. FML I agree, your life sucks 24 734 You deserved it 2 769
Today, I was at a frat band party dancing with my girl when I felt some liquid on my arm. Normally, I'll lick spilled drinks off my arms and being slightly intoxicated, I did. Then I realized it was chunky. The girl dancing next to us had puked everywhere and I licked her vomit off my arm. FML I agree, your life sucks 33 032 You deserved it 115 255
Today, I was walking on the sidewalk near my house when a car pulled out of a parking spot in front of a speeding ambulance. The ambulance swerved up onto the grass. Yes, I broke my arm after being hit by an ambulance. FML I agree, your life sucks 7 949 You deserved it 438
Today, I found out that I'm going to be a mother. This was a mystery, since I take birth control and use condoms all the time. Or, at least, it was, until my mother admitted to swapping my pills and poking holes in my condoms so she could have a grandchild before she died. FML I agree, your life sucks 67 162 You deserved it 4 194
when she/he stopped at the top of the stairs, she/he could have stuck a paw out and tripped his ass for running in the house.