Work Today, while working at a restaurant, I told an old couple that...

Anonymous - 24/04/2018 03:44

Today, while working at a restaurant, I told an old couple that their “vibrator will go off when a table is available.” I meant to say pager. They walked out. FML

3 923

1 005

Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

- 13/03/2019 12:00 - United States - Salem

Today, I asked a table at a restaurant if there's anything I could get out of their way and they replied, "Yeah, you." FML

2 249

246

oops - 18/05/2009 04:17 - United States

Today, while I was waitressing, I bent down to pick up a menu and accidentally farted, really loud, at my table. FML

53 515

10 831

Near the knuckle

Anonymous - 20/10/2020 05:01

Today, as a waitress I served someone who was hoping their food would come back faster than expected. I replied, “Fingers crossed!” just for the person to show me they had no hands. FML

922

130

WaitedOut - 03/10/2012 08:07 - United States - Saukville

Today, at work, I got to wait on one of those tables where everyone had very complex orders, and some of them sent their food back. When the time finally came for me to bring them their check and receive my well-earned tip, I returned only to discover that they'd dined and dashed. FML

31 384

2 145

Mortified

Anonymous - 19/05/2024 19:00 - United Kingdom

Today, at work, my vibrator rolled out of my bag so far down the table that I couldn’t catch it, and had to run round the table to grab it by leaning between two of my male coworkers. That vibrator lives under my bed, so the only way it could've got in my work bag would be my boyfriend pranking me. FML

568

192

Ashton Sprunger - 30/12/2011 05:38 - United States

Today, I was taking people's orders at the drive-thru. I was confused as to why people were screaming their orders at me, until one of my managers handed me a paper that he'd found taped to the menu, saying "speak loudly speaker isn't working properly." Punkd. FML

28 753

3 311

Tipped off

Anonymous - 30/09/2014 23:42 - United States - Richmond

Today, I was taking a table's order. After I finished, the guy told me, "Just FYI, I'm not a tipper." Trying to lighten up the situation, I replied, "It's amazing how many people forget I handle their food." He complained to the manager that I'd threatened him. FML

46 775

10 184

I just work here

stupidapperently - 01/02/2013 04:06 - United States

Today, while checking out a couple at work, I handed them their receipt and wished them a good day. The woman promptly pulled her husband to the side, and whispered to him about how much of a "fucking idiot" I was for making the prices so high. I work at McDonald's. FML

31 746

2 416

Karen strikes again

Anonymous - 17/02/2021 08:01

Today, at work as a manager at pizza place, I got yelled by a customer because they got one fewer paper plates than they asked for. FML

783

119

Bob - 14/04/2009 06:13 - United States

Today, I was working at a local restaurant when another server's table called me over to ask if I've "ever killed anybody". They informed me I looked like a serial killer. I informed them, of course, that I have never killed anybody. Another customer claimed I scared her child. I was fired. FML

75 037

4 682

interesting33 36

Sunday 8 April 2018 3:29

I feel like their reaction was quite an overreaction... it is very natural to say vibrator for that.

Donut_Wizard 23

Tuesday 24 April 2018 1:44

When they walked out, did they take the pager with them?

interesting33 36

Sunday 8 April 2018 3:29

I feel like their reaction was quite an overreaction... it is very natural to say vibrator for that.

Donut_Wizard 23

Tuesday 24 April 2018 1:44

When they walked out, did they take the pager with them?

RichardPencil 30

Tuesday 24 April 2018 17:51

They did, but nobody wanted to retrieve it...if you know what I mean.

Zekfen 17

Tuesday 24 April 2018 1:45

“I’m not ready to be seated, can you make it go off again?”

RichardPencil 30

Tuesday 24 April 2018 2:36

Of course, she wanted the vibrator to go off NOW!

RichardPencil 30

Tuesday 24 April 2018 4:08

I’d say your career in food service is on... wait on it... shaky ground.

tonyfan00 38

Tuesday 24 April 2018 4:59

Did they walk out with the pager? Because if so, it might be used in substitute of a vibrator...

dexter420 21

Tuesday 24 April 2018 5:44

Prudes!

bigdaddyeric 35

Tuesday 24 April 2018 6:06

What a couple of prudes, good riddance to them!

Alastair Chin 3

Tuesday 24 April 2018 9:03

Iolz

Davros 12

Tuesday 24 April 2018 10:02

I bet the wife was hesitant to leave.

Miscellaneous My ex Stalker Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I went to a camp my friend invited me to, thinking we'd just be roasting marshmallows all day and hanging out outside. Nope. It was a soul searching, "get closer to Jesus" camp. The first five hours were spent repeatedly praying and singing. I'm not a Christian. FML

38 221

10 444

Today, my dad forbade me from playing or listening to Queen because Freddie Mercury was gay. FML

1 098

517

Today, my dad stumbled home drunk at closing time and woke the whole house with a bang by attempting to heat a tin of baked beans in the microwave, without removing the beans from the tin first. FML

1 600

114

Today, I had to slowly explain to my daughter why her Facebook profile isn't a valid piece of ID. FML

32 488

5 114

Today, I asked my friend to stop texting me, because I'm on a limited plan and didn't want to go over my limit. She responded by getting a group of her friends to text bomb me. I got well over a hundred one-word texts. FML

36 246

8 384

Today, after sleeping with a guy I met at a party, I woke up to find him peeing in the corner of my room on my roommate's carpet. FML

9 601

24 364