Miscellaneous: Today, while leaving a football game, I saw a half-empty bottle...

By Anonymous - 17/10/2011 22:54 - United States

Today, while leaving a football game, I saw a half-empty bottle of Mountain Dew on the ground. It was night-time and there weren't many people around, so for a laugh, I picked it up and tossed it behind me as hard as I could. It hit someone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 333

You deserved it 54 003

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Same thing different taste

By whoops - 09/07/2014 05:38 - Canada - Ottawa

Today, at my football game, I turned around to spit so that it would be away from my teammates. I ended up spitting on a 10-year-old kid walking behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 760

You deserved it 20 173

By -_- - 07/10/2015 11:29 - United States - San Francisco

Today, at a soccer game held by my girlfriend's family, some idiot went to kick the ball, missed by a mile, and hit the ground hard. So I started a slow, sarcastic clap. I got a load of angry looks, followed by verbal abuse when we found out he'd split his head open on the ground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 981

You deserved it 32 487

Slam dunk

By YEET - 21/12/2022 12:00

Today, I was trying to find my phone. My friend found it, and instead of handing it to me like a normal person, he threw it at me. I'm terrible at catching stuff. It bounced off my arm and landed in his cup of Sprite. FML

I agree, your life sucks 924

You deserved it 140

Not sporty

By Hannah - 22/03/2012 17:21 - Ireland - Wexford

Today, I passed a field where some kids were playing football. The ball rolled over in my direction, so they asked me to kick it over. I tried and failed three times, and ended up throwing it over, where it embarrassingly landed about 2 feet away. They had to come over and get it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 185

You deserved it 10 907

It never rains, it pours

By Anonymous - 06/07/2022 21:00 - United States - Mountain View

Today, I got short-changed for a 12-pack of Mountain Dew. but I let it slide, even though they charged me double. i get home and immediately the box exploded and all the cans went falling down a flight of wooden stairs onto concrete. Fourteen stairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 805

You deserved it 221

But… why would you do that?

By cheerupsookylala - 29/09/2023 14:00 - Australia - Perth

Today, I drank water from a random, half-full water bottle I found inside a bumper car (AKA dodgems) at the local fairground, thinking it was mine. It wasn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 131

You deserved it 933

By stupidity - 25/05/2012 19:30 - Switzerland - Geneva

Today, trying to look cool, I threw my coke bottle in the air, and tried to catch it with one hand. I missed and it fell to the floor. Luckily, it wasn't open, but in my unimaginable stupidity, I opened it less than five seconds later. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 785

You deserved it 39 036

He giveth and he taketh away

By Anonymous - 23/03/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, someone at work left 10 unopened beers after hours. I’m not much of a drinker, but free is free, so I took them home during my lunch break. After work, I left my new phone on top of my car, forgot about it, drove off, and it smashed in the middle of the road. Looks like I’m drinking those beers tonight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75

You deserved it 552

By Username - 28/02/2012 00:37 - United States

Today, my friend and I were playing football in the street, when out of nowhere a homeless man sucker punches me in the gut, grabs my football, and runs away laughing like a maniac. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 599

You deserved it 3 051

Get on with it

By Not PMS, she's just a mega bitch - 08/06/2025 13:00 - United States

Today, at my son's soccer game, I tried to give him a bottle of Gatorade, but the top was damp with condensation and I couldn't get a grip. I wiped it dry and tried again, successfully this time. No big deal, except my wife was watching and screamed, "IT SHOULDN'T TAKE THAT LONG!" Everyone stopped and stared. FML

I agree, your life sucks 457

You deserved it 79

illmatic2 16

Tuesday 18 October 2011 2:05

You shouldn't dew that again.

BOOSCAREDU 0

Tuesday 18 October 2011 2:05

Why? How would you get a laugh from it?

Comments

VeraJK 15

Tuesday 18 October 2011 2:16

wow fail

winfieldALJD 6

Tuesday 18 October 2011 2:17

I thought you were going to say it was actually full of pee or something...

mismonroe 0

Tuesday 18 October 2011 3:32

Then it MIGHT have been a funnier story.

NEEPLES 7

Tuesday 18 October 2011 4:03

Me too.

stevenmx86 7

Tuesday 18 October 2011 2:19

Haha dude you are so ******* funny! Moron... I hate people like you...

sweettpie129 11

Tuesday 18 October 2011 2:21

I did something like that once except it hit me... So your a total duesch for Doing that

Anubyte 0

Tuesday 18 October 2011 3:15

Ye. he's totally German...

sweettpie129 11

Tuesday 18 October 2011 4:05

No someone actually more specifiacally like my old best guy friend did that and it hit me in the face... Got a black eye and broken nose from that

lmaoatall 6

Tuesday 18 October 2011 2:24

Fyl for sure if tossing a soda bottle behind you is a good laugh. Some advice op, stay away from comic clubs. You just might die from laughter. Here's one for you Coca cola rode to town Pepsi cola shot him down Dr. Pepper stitched him up Now he's feeling 7up I know op, your busting up. Just breathe you'll be fine

tennisrapper1 14

Tuesday 18 October 2011 2:25

Ydi for being pessimistic and saying half empty instead of half full

burp27 0

Tuesday 18 October 2011 2:26

Today, someone threw a bottle at me. It hit My head. FML

perdix 29

Tuesday 18 October 2011 2:27

We ought get the OP some firearms. That'll be hilarious.

FU2causeUFML 2

Tuesday 18 October 2011 2:32

That's not even funny. I mean if I found it I would whip it at something or whip it at the ground as hard as I could to see if it would bust. But that would just be for entertainment, but not in a funny way.