Animals Today, while feeding my neighbour's cats, I mistakenly switched... - FML

fuckshitcockwaffle - 31/05/2013 14:59 - Australia - Bayswater

Today, while feeding my neighbour's cats, I mistakenly switched up their foods. One has medicated food that causes drowsiness. The healthy cat got knocked out like a log. I panicked, laid him out by the bed, and spilled milk around his head to make it look "natural." I think I'm going to hell. FML

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St. Patrick's Day: Shamrocks and Tribulations
Green anecdotes of jealousy, full of shamrocks and pints, for a memorable St. Patrick's Day! …

ilovecharliesheen - 17/03/2015 07:14 - United States - Phoenix

Today, I accidentally ate a cat treat instead of a cinnamon-glazed pecan. I thought it must have been burnt by the way it tasted, so ate a few more before I figured out my mistake and spat them out. FML

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of course - 20/04/2019 12:00

Today, I woke up at 2 a.m. needing a drink. Not only did my cat wake everyone up when I tripped over him, but I also spilled a whole gallon of milk on myself. FML

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Keep the peace

Anonymous - 02/10/2020 18:02 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, my girlfriend accidentally put rubbish in the neighbour's bin. Then the old lady took all the rubbish out and threw it on the floor. I came out and tried to calm the situation, but then my girlfriend ran downstairs and tipped her cat food and cat milk bowls over. FML

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The gift

Anonymous - 15/12/2023 14:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I turned over in my sleep and fell out of bed, face-first into a puddle of cold cat vomit that my cat had left for me. FML

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Fykkhttdsetkkhvln - 26/04/2009 16:45 - United States

Today, I was snuggling with my neighbors four week old kitten while babysitting their kids. I fell asleep, rolled over, and woke up next to a dead kitten. FML

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OldHabitsDieHard - 18/09/2013 14:53 - United States - Erie

Today, I was getting my cat some canned food. Out of habit I licked the spoon after I had emptied the can only to realize too late what I had done. FML

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Cats hate Sundays

Anonymous - 27/04/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, I was enjoying a rare lazy Sunday afternoon nap when I woke up to a loud thud. My cat, who had been silently plotting his next move, jumped on my chest and knocked over my glass of water. Now my entire bed is soaked, my phone is possibly ruined, and my cat is looking at me like I was the one who did something wrong. FML

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anonymous - 20/06/2012 14:09 - United Kingdom

Today, I was so out of it from a lack of sleep and an accidental antihistamine overdose, I tried to offer my cat a cup of tea, and actually got pissed off when he didn't reply. It took me a good five minutes to understand what just happened. FML

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grosssss - 01/01/2010 13:03 - Australia

Today, while I was trying to get to sleep, I heard a strange noise coming from the bunk bed above mine. I looked up to see what it was and my cat vomited over the edge, onto my face. FML

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crazycat - 13/05/2011 16:23 - Canada

Today, in the early hours of the morning, my cat started scratching at my legs. I got out of bed and he raced me to the stairs, tripping me. I fell all the way down and landed in cat poop. FML

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Cartera 10

Friday 31 May 2013 19:07

Or you could do the right thing and explain what happened. Nice name though. Very original.

Pleonasm 35

Friday 31 May 2013 19:08

What a catastrophe (had to be done)

jlujan00_fml 9

Sunday 9 June 2013 5:53

One it's just a sleepy car who cares? You're not going to hell. And two why would spilling milk around him make it look natural?

MrBoredomioo 18

Tuesday 11 June 2013 11:31

"Oops"

ChuckNorris2 4

Monday 17 June 2013 12:05

Tell them what you did.

1karls1 8

Tuesday 21 July 2015 3:06

I'll see you there OP ;)

noamkitty 3

Saturday 25 July 2015 20:45

Dude you just hid your mistake by staging a kitty conspiracy cover up feel ashamed

emp221 8

Tuesday 29 March 2016 18:17

Just sleeping

Eleonore Hübner 5

Sunday 8 September 2019 3:36

Yes you are.

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I took my driver's test. I was so nervous that I peed my pants halfway through the exam. FML

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Today, having played golf for 15 years, I had my first hole in one. I was playing by myself. There were no witnesses. FML

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Today, after finally getting a job offer after months of unemployment, I found out that the person who was going to hire me got fired. Which means I'm not getting the job. FML

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Today, five hours into my shift, I found out that I had been given the day off. They just forgot to tell me. FML

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Today, on this edition of me getting pimples in painful or uncomfortable places, I got a huge one on the side of my neck. I never thought that simply turning my head would be such a horrendously painful task. Also, the afflicted area of my neck suddenly itches like crazy. FML

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Today, an officemate "invited" me to take a selfie with him with his "Brand new iPhone 17 Pro Max, fully paid in cash." And here I am, still lugging my now 7 year-old phone, which is stuck at Android 9, and I had to stick a power bank on the casing to keep the battery on life support. FML

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