Love: Today, when confronting my boyfriend about slapping a girl's...

By aurora320 - 19/07/2016 19:50 - United Kingdom - Bournemouth

Today, when confronting my boyfriend about slapping a girl's ass in the club, he claimed: "There was a mosquito on it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 861

You deserved it 1 396

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Same thing different taste

By Don’t Think About It. - 26/08/2019 16:00

Today, I smacked a big mosquito that had landed on my leg. My boyfriend then said to me, "I wonder if their mouth snaps off when you slap them, and now it’s stuck in your skin." Thanks. Thanks a lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 421

You deserved it 229

By Anonymous - 19/03/2012 00:49 - United States - Dansville

Today, my boyfriend and I were having dinner with my family. He killed a bug and ate it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 989

You deserved it 4 110

By tickyette - 14/09/2010 07:27 - United States

Today, a grasshopper jumped into my car. As my boyfriend swiped at it, the grasshopper jumped onto my chest and into my shirt. Instead of helping me get it out, my boyfriend leaned back and said, "It got to second base faster than I did." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 250

You deserved it 10 355

Bitten

By Anonymous - 02/09/2019 00:01 - Spain - Barcelona

Today, I had to explain to a lady that the reason I mindlessly touched my crotch was to itch a mosquito bite. She didn't believe me, and called me a pervert. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 415

You deserved it 543

By anonymous - 04/10/2017 20:51

Today, my boyfriend keeps trying to convince me that the hickey on his neck was from his friend attacking him with a vacuum cleaner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 511

You deserved it 433

Headshot!

By almyric - 02/10/2019 12:02

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a foot massage. I learned that his feet are ticklish when he kicked me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 472

You deserved it 300

By ThisIsWhyIStayAtHome - 24/05/2014 00:09 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, I was at a nightclub when some dick squeezed the ass of the girl beside me. She whirled around and started yelling and slapping me across the face. I was dragged out by the bouncers, to cheers from the people around us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 353

You deserved it 3 411

Marking territory

By Anonymous - 02/01/2020 20:00 - United States - Grand Rapids

Today, while on a picnic with my boyfriend, he got a little drunk. All of a sudden, he got up, pulled his pants down and pissed all over me. His excuse? "Just marking my territory." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 768

You deserved it 347

By awkardtaco - 28/09/2018 13:30

Today, in spite of 2 different types of bug spray, underwear, and jeans, I discovered not one, but two mosquito bites on my vagina. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 646

You deserved it 237

By foxbrat - 11/10/2009 06:18 - United States

Today, I woke up with a dead cockroach and its guts all over my forehead. My boyfriend responded by laughing and saying "Poor guy, never had a chance to see the world." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 245

You deserved it 3 299

TeraBaap 21

Wednesday 20 July 2016 12:09

Tell him he has a mosquito on his face and do the same.

stryder9090 28

Wednesday 20 July 2016 12:24

Well you wouldn't want anyone to suffer the pain of mosquito bite on their ass would you?

Comments

waleedma 18

Wednesday 20 July 2016 22:57

Wawoooo he has great eye sight!

wonandonly 11

Wednesday 20 July 2016 23:01

"He's just preventing Zika from spreading"

interesting33 36

Wednesday 20 July 2016 23:10

People who pinch or slap girls' asses in clubs are the worst. It is horrible - and normally you don't even know who did it

Triplegoddess11 13

Thursday 21 July 2016 4:21

It's funny, but I sincerely hope he doesn't believe you're that stupid!!

mcruff 12

Thursday 21 July 2016 4:45

Why do the assholes have to be so clever?

angbelles 5

Thursday 21 July 2016 5:25

You mean ex-boyfriend right?? Because who would seriously stay with a guy like that. Sorry OP, you deserve better.

nonamebranding 12

Thursday 21 July 2016 6:48

Then you slap his face and tell him it's the same mosquito. He's a creep.

Sparx1_1 16

Thursday 21 July 2016 8:26

If he can lie this easily over the things you can see imagine how easily he'll like about things you are not around to see.

MiraRose 19

Thursday 21 July 2016 9:50

I hope you dumped his ass OP. That's completely ridiculous!

HolyyMolyy 13

Thursday 21 July 2016 10:01

He found a mosquito on a girl's ass in a club? He's definitely got a brilliant vision ;)

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The Top

Today, my cat learned that smacking his feather toy against the metal barrel I store it in will result in a loud and irritating sound that gets me out of bed fast. Taking it out and putting it on the floor doesn't work, because he learned how to pick it up and drop it in the barrel. My cat is a goddamn genius. FML

I agree, your life sucks 356

You deserved it 193

Today, I was texting a girl that I've liked for some time. When I asked her what she was doing, she replied "texting and p.s. I love you". I replied by telling her my feelings for her. Turns out "p.s. I love you" was the name of the movie she was watching with her friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 934

You deserved it 12 958

Today, I'm a student vet. Part of my holiday work is to gain experience working at a dairy. A cow came on to the platform for me to inject her udder. As I was bent over, she decided to take a dump. Onto my left eyeball. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 117

You deserved it 6 217

Today, in physics class, my teacher was messing around with an air cannon and I accidentally blurted out, "Blow me!" It took me all of 5 seconds to realize why everyone was laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 761

You deserved it 1 654

Today, I went into hysterics and started crying when my boyfriend pulled out a Tiffany's box at dinner. Then I found out he'd used the old box to make the $15 earrings he bought seem more "special." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 904

You deserved it 14 079

Today, I was drunk and broke my leg. I called 911, only for the cops to turn up and make me try to walk, with them saying that I was faking my injury. They arrested me for being drunk in public and hours later I finally got to an ER. I had to have surgery on my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 558

You deserved it 189

Same thing different taste

Bitten

Headshot!

Marking territory

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