Intimacy: Today, my husband begged me to go down on him while he sat on...

By countryblumpkin - 01/08/2013 18:06 - United States - Grand Rapids

Today, my husband begged me to go down on him while he sat on the toilet, taking a crap. He tried to convince me that we'd both somehow experience mind-blowing orgasms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 117

You deserved it 7 172

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Same thing different taste

Romantic

By Anonymous - 22/01/2011 05:29 - Canada

Today, at the end of another long workday, my husband announced that he was going to take a shower. Attempting to rekindle some much needed romance in our lives, I seductively asked him, "Want me to join you?" He replied, "Sure. But first I have to poop." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 930

You deserved it 6 876

Romance

By shortyybrooke - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, my wife sat beside me on the ledge of the bathtub because she wanted to make out. I was on the toilet. Shitting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 729

You deserved it 542

By Anonymous - 11/01/2015 05:56 - United States - Silverdale

Today, I had to negotiate with my husband so he would bring me toilet paper while I was on the john. His terms? A blowjob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 178

You deserved it 7 837

Hot shit

By Well, shit - 07/12/2024 16:00 - Canada

Today, my wife dragged me to the bathroom, promising to "show something hot." Not that I was in the mood, but okay. She took off her pants, sat on a toilet, and demanded that I tell her about my day. She wanted me to entertain her while she was taking a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 567

You deserved it 101

By Anonymous - 19/04/2013 18:28 - United States

Today, my husband tried to haggle a blowjob out of me in exchange for taking his first shower in nearly two weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 518

You deserved it 7 376

By Helseac - 17/12/2018 03:00

Today, I noticed my husband makes better sex sounds on the toilet then he does with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 768

You deserved it 460

The language of love

By disgusted - 24/09/2012 19:16 - United Kingdom - Harpenden

Today, my husband asked me to spoon him. He used it as an excuse to start farting on me. Yep, this is my husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 973

You deserved it 6 547

Let it all out

By Anonymous - 20/08/2021 20:01

Today, my husband shit himself a little during sex, but tried to keep going because he was "so close" and didn’t want to ruin the orgasm. I, of course, shoved him away but it was already down my leg and had stained our cream bedsheets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 525

You deserved it 202

Sensitive

By airbiscuit - 21/01/2013 12:36 - United Kingdom - Cardiff

Today, my hubby asked for a morning blow job, and I happily obliged. All was going great until he came and farted at the same time. I laughed and reassured him it was no big deal. He cried. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 143

You deserved it 6 512

By BatBee - 03/08/2016 02:29 - United States - Princeton

Today, my husband and I were talking about how we missed our sexting from when we were dating, so later I took a bath and texted him while he was relaxing in bed. His response ? "I'm tired and hurry up I need to poop." FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 386

You deserved it 1 531

dalink 24

Friday 2 August 2013 1:42

So so so disgusting... And unhygienic.

Black_Rose97 9

Friday 2 August 2013 1:43

well isnt that a load of crap... anyone?

Comments

Laxoxo224 8

Friday 16 August 2013 5:53

Sex is fun in that position

pickleOnABun 10

Saturday 17 August 2013 18:57

this was on ifunny

SammyToTheMaxX 7

Monday 26 August 2013 9:18

lol. you have a douche husband but a great one.

xxpersonxx 9

Monday 30 September 2013 0:52

That's weird and not really hygienic

BaNayNay 4

Wednesday 20 November 2013 23:55

blumpkin

Capt_Colorz 8

Sunday 16 February 2014 5:27

Its called a blumpkin.....and he will only have the amazing orgazim

redblueflame 23

Sunday 29 June 2014 6:17

Well, there's a first for everything lmao

harrypotter4evur 15

Tuesday 22 July 2014 7:37

Should have told him you can't believe everything you read on the internet.

inspiringdeath 13

Friday 12 December 2014 18:27

I've actually read that if something is in (or coming out of) a guys ass while he cums, it feels amazing because of how the muscles clench. I've done that for my husband. There was alcohol involved.