Health: Today, my husband and I are both suffering from food poisoning....

By AW - 10/01/2011 12:48

Today, my husband and I are both suffering from food poisoning. He has horrible, raging, rank smelling, explosive diarrhea; I am vomiting every 15 minutes. We have one bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 677

You deserved it 3 042

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Same thing different taste

By shroooms - 28/07/2011 20:37 - Slovenia

Today, my entire family, myself included, has been turned into a collective diarrhea fountain after going out to eat. We only have one bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 740

You deserved it 3 078

By Anonymous - 12/02/2013 18:43 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I both developed food poisoning from last night's sushi. Our apartment has one bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 333

You deserved it 3 326

By fuuuuuh - 20/07/2012 05:47 - United States - Santa Cruz

Today, my family of five and I decided to have homemade sushi. We did not prepare the fish correctly, and now we all have excruciating food poisoning. The worst part? We only have one bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 802

You deserved it 30 952

By I stink - 18/12/2018 15:30

Today, my boyfriend and I were finally able to settle on having a day out together after putting it off for months because of work/other random reasons. This morning I woke up with the worst case of diarrhea I’ve ever had in my life. I won’t be leaving the bathroom anytime soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 386

You deserved it 237

By Anonymous - 13/10/2012 11:37 - United States

Today, while my husband and I are both stuck in the bathroom from food poisoning, our 3-year-old son is taking advantage of his freedom. All I can hear is banging noises and wild laughter. I'm afraid to leave the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 190

You deserved it 2 785

Food for thought

By that’s what you get - 05/08/2020 17:02

Today, I warned my husband not to eat the seafood he'd left on the counter. He insisted it was fine. He’s now been in the bathroom shitting, puking and wailing for three hours. Our place is tiny and the bathroom is attached to our bedroom. The door doesn’t keep out the noise or the rancid smell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 986

You deserved it 211

By Anonymous - 16/04/2016 07:16 - United States - Roscoe

Today, my 3 year-old woke up with diarrhea. The stench caused him to throw up. My husband started sympathy puking all over the floor. I'm so exhausted already that I'm considering just burning the damn house down to avoid cleaning it all up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 822

You deserved it 1 676

Thank you for your service

By Auburn_flame - 27/03/2019 00:00

Today, I've been horribly sick with a stomach virus. Six hours ago, I asked my husband to go to the store and get me a few things that would help ease my misery. He's still in bed and I'm cleaning the house in between bouts of vomiting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 531

You deserved it 368

Hilarious

By Anonymous - 01/02/2012 20:21 - United States

Today, my morning sickness has been so bad that my husband's farts send me running to the bathroom. He thinks it's hilarious, and has been following me around all day trying to crack one off in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 312

You deserved it 4 021

Gross out competition

By shattysituation - 31/12/2012 22:36 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try a new place to eat. On our way home we both had upset stomachs. As we raced into the house we realized neither of us could hold it any longer. Having only one bathroom, I let her go first. She exploded on the toilet and I exploded in my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 457

You deserved it 4 068

Zmeilerr 22

Monday 10 January 2011 19:02

Use a bucket.

spazticechidna 2

Monday 10 January 2011 19:02

Vomit in the kitchen sink instead.

Comments

ttyl99 0

Tuesday 11 January 2011 4:08

can you say romantic bonding time. nothing says i love you like shareing one bowl

ArthursLifeSucks 2

Tuesday 11 January 2011 5:03

In my opinion this is the worst FML ever, except for dying in a fire.

zombieneden 5

Tuesday 11 January 2011 5:11

"shit."

welltobad4u 0

Tuesday 11 January 2011 8:58

Well Shit My Panties!!

MAC0789 2

Tuesday 11 January 2011 10:17

just throw up in the garbage. seriously, why would you torture yourself like that - disgusting.

CaptainJ1000 1

Tuesday 11 January 2011 11:02

You should both be smarter when it comes to eating at Waffle House.

SeeYouNTee 0

Tuesday 11 January 2011 11:58

consider this a great bonding moment

TADspace 30

Tuesday 11 January 2011 17:16

Vomit in a trash bag?

jknjonas 0

Wednesday 12 January 2011 19:12

open all the windows and breathe through your mouth

wtfcammelcheese 0

Friday 14 January 2011 15:08

u sure u vomiting from the food or the smell

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