Health Today, my entire family, myself included, has been turned into... - FML

shroooms - 28/07/2011 20:37 - Slovenia

Today, my entire family, myself included, has been turned into a collective diarrhea fountain after going out to eat. We only have one bathroom. FML

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Carnival of Disasters
Dive into carnival, where hilarious costumes meet unexpected mishaps. Laughter is guaranteed, mask or no mask! …

fuuuuuh - 20/07/2012 05:47 - United States - Santa Cruz

Today, my family of five and I decided to have homemade sushi. We did not prepare the fish correctly, and now we all have excruciating food poisoning. The worst part? We only have one bathroom. FML

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AW - 10/01/2011 12:48

Today, my husband and I are both suffering from food poisoning. He has horrible, raging, rank smelling, explosive diarrhea; I am vomiting every 15 minutes. We have one bathroom. FML

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Leaked

Morgan Bailey - 18/09/2018 14:00

Today, I tried to let out a small fart in a crowded restaurant. I had diarrhea. I walked past several families to get to the bathroom and clean myself up, only to still go home with a huge wet spot down my ass. My shirt wasn't long enough to hide it. FML

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MisterBrown - 15/02/2010 07:08 - United States

Today, while at a family get together, my bowels suddenly decided they needed to be emptied. Straight away. I felt bad enough using someone else's bathroom for this, but later, my sister came in and loudly said "God, Brian, what the hell have you been eating?" in front of everyone at the get together. FML

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Anonymous - 12/02/2013 18:43 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I both developed food poisoning from last night's sushi. Our apartment has one bathroom. FML

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Numbass123 - 04/05/2014 17:17 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, I was glued to the toilet all day, gushing fountains of crap, due to my own bad cooking. It got so bad that I ran out of toilet paper and had to desperately jump in the shower and stay there for nearly two hours. I can't even feel my own asshole any more. FML

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Gross out competition

shattysituation - 31/12/2012 22:36 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try a new place to eat. On our way home we both had upset stomachs. As we raced into the house we realized neither of us could hold it any longer. Having only one bathroom, I let her go first. She exploded on the toilet and I exploded in my pants. FML

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The squits

Cliff - 11/10/2024 00:00 - Australia - Perth

Today, I got food poisoning from a restaurant that I had chosen for our company party. Everyone who went blamed me for their predicament. I also had to run to the toilet every ten minutes while they were all mad at me. FML

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Cringe

mikesok988 - 07/05/2009 07:40 - United States

Today, there was a potluck at my girlfriend's house. I had a sour stomach, so I went to the bathroom to relieve myself. When I flushed, nothing happened. They had to call a plumber to fix the toilet filled with my crap. The whole family watched, noses plugged and faces cringed, looking at me. FML

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I stink - 18/12/2018 15:30

Today, my boyfriend and I were finally able to settle on having a day out together after putting it off for months because of work/other random reasons. This morning I woke up with the worst case of diarrhea I’ve ever had in my life. I won’t be leaving the bathroom anytime soon. FML

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TheBrickWithouse 10

Friday 29 July 2011 1:23

i have one word for you: buckets. Seriously though, FYL.

prelim_champ 10

Friday 29 July 2011 1:37

The visual image of a "diarrhea fountain" is quite vomit-inducing...

FarSide 22

Friday 29 July 2011 3:28

I just love dancing water!

Perci 5

Friday 29 July 2011 3:28

"Collective Diarrhea fountain" = Priceless.

broomhildo 19

Friday 29 July 2011 3:41

I'm sorry but I laughed at the choice of wording. FYL for crapping your brains out though.

chuckychan 8

Friday 29 July 2011 3:51

ok so go back to the place you ate at and have one huge collective diarrhea fountain in their bathrooms?

oneEAR1i 3

Friday 29 July 2011 4:16

wtf ... you've emptied your bowels into a household appliances you depend on to clean your clothes or clean the plates you eat off of? people amaze me.

metallicshadow 16

Friday 29 July 2011 4:19

that sucks, how many in the family?

raphanne_fml 33

Friday 29 July 2011 8:02

"Marky, Ricky, Danny, Terry, Mikey, Davey, Timmy, Tommy, Joey, Robby, Johnny and Brian" ...lol a lot of brothers XD

Fudgeblocks 2

Friday 29 July 2011 4:43

go to the mall or something. drink the one med that holds it down so you can get there with out ******** your pants.

Piinkdottx3 5

Friday 29 July 2011 4:47

I bet you guys had taco bell....

sexxme 9

Friday 29 July 2011 7:13

hey, i love taco bell! never got me sick.

jawaqueen 1

Friday 29 July 2011 5:18

Damn what restaurant did you go to? At least you know not to eat there anymore

cyanidesandwich 21

Friday 29 July 2011 5:19

no no no, you are doing it wrong. you should crap on a neighbor's doorstep in hoping he moves away...

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, it's been a week since I realized how much work the tongue actually does during eating. It pushes food around the mouth to my teeth like a little slug. I've been so conscious of it, I haven't enjoyed eating since. FML

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Today, I needed to job shadow someone for my winter break career project. Not finding someone to take me along to their job, my mom suggested shadowing my dad. Not wanting to hurt his feelings, I went with him. All day I sat and helped him test human poop samples for parasites. Some was diarrhea. FML

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Today, no matter how well we tried to raise out daughter, things aren't looking too bright. I was present, I listened, and she told me her problems. My husband was always there for her too, no matter what. She works and studies but her role models consist of celebrities and girls who sell themselves on OnlyFans. FML

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Today, I asked my mom if she thought I was straight. She looked at me and said, "Well, that's really up to you honey. But your father and I would still love you." I was asking if she thought I had parked straight. FML

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Today, after taking my clothes out of the washer, I noticed at the very bottom of the washer my boyfriend's USB stick I found a couple of days ago. The USB stick contains his English essay, and his novel he has been working on for almost six months. FML

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Today, I dropped my car off at the dealership for a bumper replacement due to a hit and run in a parking lot. After being told it was ready, their shuttle picked me up, and backed up into my just-replaced bumper. FML

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