Kids Today, my 9-year-old daughter was acting out and wouldn't do...

Anonymous - 18/10/2014 19:29 - United Kingdom

Today, my 9-year-old daughter was acting out and wouldn't do her homework. I told her that if she didn't study, she wouldn't get her acceptance letter from Hogwarts. She looked into my eyes, straight through to my soul and said, "Hogwarts isn't real, retard." FML

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St. Patrick's Day: Shamrocks and Tribulations
Green anecdotes of jealousy, full of shamrocks and pints, for a memorable St. Patrick's Day! …

notawizard - 16/07/2009 10:16 - Spain

Today, my daughter turned 11. Since she LOVES Harry Potter, I decided to write her an acceptance letter to Hogwarts. When she saw the letter, she screamed and showed me. When she found out I wrote it, she told me she hated me, started crying, and stepped on my foot. FML

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makeitstop - 04/08/2011 13:41 - United Kingdom

Today, my daughter wouldn't stop yapping on about not being able to register on the new Harry Potter website. The amount of whiny jibber-jabber emanating from her cake-hole made me want to boot her from our family tree, and I had to resort to booze to wash the pain away. I'm a terrible parent. FML

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nanall - 04/06/2012 07:19 - United States

Today, my 24-year-old brother tried to convince me that Hogwarts is real, because there is no way a person could have written that based on imagination. My parents agreed with him. FML

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yingyang2 - 06/01/2011 02:19 - United States

Today, I have been teaching my 5 year-old step-daughter how to read and write. She came bounding up to me with a piece of paper and said, "look what I did". It was a letter that said "My dad misses my real mommy, not you". FML

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SantaClaus - 02/11/2013 04:19 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my 8-year-old came home from school crying. Apparently her teacher told the whole class to write about how they felt when they learned that Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy weren't real. FML

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AnonymousCow - 20/09/2016 13:04 - Australia - Perth

Today, I told my daughter that she wasn't allowed to eat in her room, so she sat at the table and glared at me for 10 minutes while she ate. She's 15. FML

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anonymous - 04/04/2013 22:52 - United States - Spring Valley

Today, I picked my 12-year-old daughter up from school after her first sexual education lecture. She burst into tears on the way home explaining her fears of being pregnant with her boyfriend's child. As if that doesn't sound bad enough, I've met her boyfriend before. He is imaginary. FML

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thanksad - 23/08/2013 01:38 - United States - Cerritos

Today, my 50-year-old dad was in a foul mood after taking an online test that put him in Slytherin house instead of Ravenclaw where he "belongs" because he's "so smart". FML

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Santa - 25/12/2014 03:01 - United States - Cocoa

Today, my 8-year-old daughter was throwing a tantrum, and I said "Keep this up and I'll tell Santa to take your presents back." She told me I don't even know Santa, at which point I accidentally blurted that I'm "Santa". FML

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Anonymous - 30/10/2010 05:07 - New Zealand

Today, my daughter came up to me crying. When I asked her what was wrong, she told me that she had a fight with her imaginary boyfriend. She's 16. I raised this child. FML

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iLike2Teabag 27

Sunday 19 October 2014 9:52

Pfft. Muggles.

cheshireau 26

Sunday 19 October 2014 10:01

I don't know whether to make a Harry Potter reference or to comment on your daughters foul mouth and lack of respect for you.

OkapiParade 15

Sunday 19 October 2014 15:26

What do you mean Hogwarts isn't real?

Audem_fml 27

Sunday 19 October 2014 16:03

Oh muggle kids these day... they really have no magic.

Katthebamf 29

Sunday 19 October 2014 16:22

So much muggle hate going on here!

jriley4u 17

Sunday 19 October 2014 17:02

Then the next comment to her should have been "carry your butt to your room, ya lazy little turd". (Don't send a thousand replies to this. I was just joking)

Fang713 28

Sunday 19 October 2014 17:05

I already hate your kid.

Fmlreadermostly 20

Sunday 19 October 2014 17:11

This is where you should have disciplined her. You need to think ahead so when things like this happen, you have an action plan. Like taking away power cords or bagging up a toy she likes and burn or toss it if you can replace it. If not, hide it away until she stops. Think about it.

captainCrunchhh 8

Sunday 19 October 2014 17:33

Give her a fake acceptance letter but take it away because she was acting out

nitrog100 21

Sunday 19 October 2014 18:19

You disrespect her, she disrespects you. You completely deserve it for trying to deceive your daughter in such a manner. Be a better parent and you won't have to deal with stuff like that.