Love: Today, I tried to flirt with my girlfriend since I'm really busy...

By Anonymous - 29/09/2009 04:38 - United States

Today, I tried to flirt with my girlfriend since I'm really busy and we can't always be together. I tell her online that I think she's hot and she responds "Keep talking I have to pee". FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 896

You deserved it 5 903

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Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By ozzy - 06/11/2016 09:18 - United States - Campbell

Today, was trying to have an adult conversation with my fiancée but she's always on her phone, so I sent her a text message instead. Relationship goals. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 911

You deserved it 1 167

Love language

By gummy bear - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff

Today, trying to be an old-school romantic, I asked my girlfriend, "Where art thou, my love?" via SMS. She replied, "Toilet." FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 662

You deserved it 31 267

By BatBee - 03/08/2016 02:29 - United States - Princeton

Today, my husband and I were talking about how we missed our sexting from when we were dating, so later I took a bath and texted him while he was relaxing in bed. His response ? "I'm tired and hurry up I need to poop." FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 386

You deserved it 1 531

By Countdown has begun - 16/05/2019 12:58

Today, my girlfriend took a crap in my swimming pool. Her excuse? She had to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 025

You deserved it 232

By hopeless - 14/02/2015 20:04 - Canada - Halifax

Today, my girlfriend berated me for my "lack of communication skills", all while deeply engrossed with something on her phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 784

You deserved it 2 897

By coolhand - 29/08/2009 15:13 - United States

Today, I waited for my girlfriend to get in the shower before I stripped down to try and seduce her. I got ready, threw open the door and went in. I walked in on her taking a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 522

You deserved it 67 503

By maniac11 - 11/10/2012 00:58 - United States

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. I really had to use the bathroom, but decided to wait. After about an hour, I went to the restroom. I pissed for so long that when I walked out her family all started clapping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 518

You deserved it 6 597

By Charly - 05/01/2009 06:16 - France

Today, I sent a text message to this girl I've been flirting with for a while now saying "How about coffee?". To which she answered "Great idea, I'll go and make myself one right now". FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 201

You deserved it 3 395

Overdoing it

By Zill - 17/11/2022 10:00

Today, my girlfriend has become such a workaholic that I found her sitting in her office, soaked in piss. When I called her out, she said she didn't want to take bathroom breaks anymore, and asked me to buy diapers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 308

You deserved it 136

By Nice guy finishing last. - 07/04/2017 12:00

Today, I saw a girl I have a crush on sitting on a fountain, away from everyone. I thought this would be the perfect time to make a move on her. I tapped her on the shoulder, which scared her. She nervously flenched and began to piss herself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 400

You deserved it 941

ifuckingrock 0

Tuesday 29 September 2009 12:31

Oh, my god, your girlfriend has a bladder, I feel so bad for you.

WhyComplain 0

Tuesday 29 September 2009 12:30

This is the biggest problem in your life and you complain about it? You have a girlfriend, be happy!

Comments

Sapphy 0

Wednesday 30 September 2009 0:34

lol, hardly an FML. whiney little bitch

BigWestRunner 0

Wednesday 30 September 2009 1:31

come on now thats absolutely nothing to cry over

CFR 0

Wednesday 30 September 2009 1:53

Hah. I've done that. I come back and I'm like "Ohhhh..." Seriously loosen up. When a girl has to go, there's nothing to stop her, and it's not like she can relieve herself just anywhere you know.

OverEnthusiast 0

Wednesday 30 September 2009 3:08

Hey man when you gotta go, you gotta go. Your intentions were good, and she did say to keep talking.

LMAO58 0

Wednesday 30 September 2009 3:20

geez overreacting much, when your girlfriend has to pee she has to go. its not like she can bring u with her to watch...though im sure u would enjoy it

rts312 0

Wednesday 30 September 2009 3:47

This FML is stupid, so I'm not going to comment on it. oops...

DrAwesome 6

Wednesday 30 September 2009 4:07

Perfection with a capital "pee", no doubt.

mommmma 0

Wednesday 30 September 2009 4:16

and...........??? unless she didnt come back its not an FML. peeing taked 2 minutes lol.

hellosies 0

Wednesday 30 September 2009 5:20

really? this is not an fml dude. it means she's comfortable with you, you jackass. get over yourself.

ithedarkone 0

Wednesday 30 September 2009 5:42

wooooooooow your life is so ruined buddy. Oh wait maybe when i get off work i can go have sex with my girlfriend there's a thought. Stop bitching over useless stupid shit at least she is reading it and not out there looking at other men. YDI for not being happy you have someone who cares about you. Who sits down and reads your little mediocre messages you send them. At least send her something you put a little thought instead of your hot.