Intimacy: Today, I had the good fortune of finding a seat on the bus, not... - FML

By gringa_Peru - 18/04/2009 01:19 - Peru

Spicy

Today, I had the good fortune of finding a seat on the bus, not the norm in Peru. Several minutes after sitting down, I felt something on my shoulder. Thinking it was a hand, I turned my head to look. I came face to face with a dirty man's crotch, it was his erection resting on my shoulder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 170 285

You deserved it 9 878

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Same thing different taste

By nevergoingonabusagain - 30/05/2009 06:52 - Canada

Spicy

Today, there were no more seats on the bus I was taking home, which meant I had to stand. I noticed that a creepy guy sitting in front of me had a boner, so I took a few steps back. Suddenly the bus went through something like a speed bump, which caused me to fall and sit on the man's lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 295

You deserved it 5 721

Three's a crowd

By Anonymous - 13/08/2014 11:33 - Australia - Rooty Hill

Today, I succeeded in getting a seat on a crowded bus. I regretted this when, after a couple of stops, a big guy boarded the bus and stood next to me with his penis pressed against my shoulder. Longest. Bus ride. Ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 700

You deserved it 4 023

By scarlet - 09/05/2011 15:02 - Canada

Today, on the bus, a large smelly man was sat next to me, pushing me against the divider and sliding into me on every turn. When he got up for his stop, his pants had loosened and his bare ass was staring me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 918

You deserved it 3 420

By Justme - 30/06/2016 18:20 - United States - Missoula

Today, while I was riding the bus to work, I noticed the guy sitting across from me had shorts on. He also had no underwear on and I could fully see his "parts" just hanging there. I decided to switch seats but as I stood up to move, the bus jerked. I fell face forward right into his "parts". FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 134

You deserved it 1 488

By Anonymous - 16/01/2011 07:49 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was sitting on the bus when a good looking girl accidentally brushed her ass up against my shoulder as she walked past. This only made me realize that this has been the closest I've come to touching a girls ass in over a year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 581

You deserved it 6 278

By Anonymous - 26/08/2010 23:41 - United States

Today, I was riding the public bus and a really fat, smelly guy sat next to me. He put his arm around my shoulder and asked me if I was single. My stop wasn't for three more miles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 904

You deserved it 3 724

By dickface - 28/03/2011 20:13 - Canada

Spicy

Today, I was sitting beside a very cute girl on a 3 hour bus trip with my class. She fell asleep, head on my lap. She woke up because my erection was jabbing her in the cheek. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 829

You deserved it 30 082

By Anonymous - 22/09/2017 04:30

Spicy

Today, I saw a creepy guy grab a woman's ass on the bus, so I caught his arm and put him in an arm lock, only for the woman to hit me in the head with her handbag. Turns out they were a married couple on their way home to have sex, and who couldn't resist a quick grope during the journey. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 112

You deserved it 4 725

Slippy

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, on the bus, water kept dripping on my head so I stood up to move. As I got up, the bus turned round a corner and I fell over into a man's lap. When I tried to get up, I slipped down between his legs and the next seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 016

You deserved it 312

By Anonymous - 07/12/2010 04:53 - United States

Today, while sitting on the bus a stranger sat next to me, farted, put his hand under his butt to smell what it was like, and then sniffed it throughout the whole ride while glancing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 121

You deserved it 2 566

Next

Top comments

nodbor 11

Saturday 18 April 2009 9:19

even dicks need a place to rest.

Narsh 0

Saturday 18 April 2009 9:19

How could anyone possibly say that you deserved this? FYL indeed.

Comments

buttonlovin 0

Saturday 29 May 2010 23:40

I'm going to peru in a month.. and you just ruined it for me.

xliox 0

Sunday 11 July 2010 2:31

ewww that's gross!! x(

ikeoni 0

Monday 30 August 2010 16:53

where were u going? larcomar?

Ashleexx 0

Saturday 11 September 2010 2:09

umm how was it in your shoulder wtff!!

laylalushrawr 0

Tuesday 26 April 2011 1:54

And that my friend why you don't sit on a bus in Peru. XD

tdug 0

Sunday 5 June 2011 18:21

boot him in the balls!

cajunkid 0

Friday 10 June 2011 8:45

stick to the car or bike if u got to

claudio123 0

Monday 13 June 2011 7:15

lol i live in peru stupid combis

saltypirate 0

Thursday 16 June 2011 10:48

Sorry about that. There was a sexy chick by me who was vag flashin. jkjkjkjkjk

MistaXaEro_Chris 0

Friday 29 July 2011 22:18

that's a big dick lmao

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Today, I found out why I receive random drug tests at work. The safety department was specifically told by my boss to check up on me because I always seem way too cheerful to not be high. I've passed every single test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 752

You deserved it 2 741

Today, and for my entire childhood, my parents made me play the piano until I gave in and just learned to enjoy it somehow. Now, I actually have an opportunity to play professionally, and what did my parents say? “Don’t bother, musicians hardly ever make good money. Get a real job instead.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 585

You deserved it 76

Today, I decided I was going to dump my needy girlfriend. I was about to break the news when she stopped me. She showed me her new tattoo she had gotten. Our names, surrounded by a love heart spread across her back. She reckons I should get a matching one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 613

You deserved it 8 503

Today, I took a day off from work for a doctor's appointment. It ended up taking a lot longer than I expected, because while I was on my way, my mom called to inform me that my great aunt passed away this morning. As a result, I showed up extremely late and was berated. And the worst part? It's my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 309

You deserved it 177

Today, I dreamt that the fabric and pattern I was working on were sliding off the table so I quickly reached to grab it, effectively driving my fingers into my husband's eyes. Fuck his life too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 017

You deserved it 119

Today, my girlfriend informed me that our relationship is an open one. This was only after I was told that when she was "stuck in traffic" two days ago, she was actually playing the triple-X version of Twister in my "best friend's" bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 125

You deserved it 3 395