Miscellaneous: Today, I got my first massage. At the end, the masseuse made...

By AlwaysAwkward - 03/03/2014 02:30 - United States - Strongsville

Today, I got my first massage. At the end, the masseuse made a gesture indicating which way the exit was. After having had her hands all over my body for the past hour, I thought the gesture was indicative of a goodbye hug. Things got awkward really fast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 400

You deserved it 9 050

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Falling

By Kassy - 16/05/2025 22:00 - United Kingdom - Leeds

Today, I treated myself to an hour long massage. Halfway through, I mumbled, “Thank you” to the masseuse and, without thinking, added, “I love you.” There was a long pause. Then she patted my head and whispered, “You’re welcome.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 156

You deserved it 338

By spitty - 14/04/2015 21:50 - United States - Willoughby

Today, I got a massage. Just as I was starting to relax, the massage therapist drooled on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 533

You deserved it 2 191

Threesome

By Tylerdirdin84 - 28/07/2019 20:00

Today, I had to give a massage to my ex-girlfriend's new boyfriend as they got a couples’ massage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 125

You deserved it 166

Treat Yourself Day (derogatory)

By mindy - 24/12/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, I was supposed to be treating myself to a relaxing spa day, thinking it would be a great way to unwind. That was until the massage therapist somehow gave me a "reverse" massage that left me sore in places I didn’t know could get sore. I paid for this torture, and now I can’t even walk properly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 345

You deserved it 114

Knock out

By Anonymous - 25/02/2020 14:00

Today, I treated myself to a Thai massage. The masseuse was so aggressive and intense, she left me with injuries on my hands and back. I paid $60 for someone to hurt me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 632

You deserved it 367

Social cues

By Anonymous - 13/03/2022 18:00

Today, I got my hair cut. When I was leaving, my stylist was standing fairly close while we were talking. She reached out to smooth out my hair; I went in for a hug. She didn't want a hug. Everyone who was there just stared at me until I left the building. FML

I agree, your life sucks 759

You deserved it 305

Fully relaxed

By Anonymous - 19/01/2025 20:00 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was getting a full-body massage at a spa when the masseuse dropped hot stones directly on my stomach. As I jumped up in shock and slight pain, the oils and towels all fell off me, leaving me completely naked in front of the spa receptionist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 410

You deserved it 133

Hydrated pinkies

By Anonymous - 09/03/2025 14:00 - United Kingdom

Today, we went for a foot massage. My wife found it incredibly relaxing; I just found it weird that a complete stranger seemed to be trying to give each of my toes its own handjob. Plus they used so much moisturiser that it made the inside of my shoes feel like squishy mud all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 333

You deserved it 137

By Anonymous - 04/04/2009 12:08 - Australia

Today, I slept over at my boyfriend's house and he offered to give me a massage, as he'd found a book on sensual massage and wanted to test it out on me. When he went to the bathroom, I found the book open on his desk- at "Massage to eliminate cellulite". FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 205

You deserved it 7 777

By Anonymous - 19/12/2010 00:14 - United States

Today, trying to be romantic, I started giving my boyfriend a neck massage. He gave me a weirded-out look, removed my hand, called me creep, and wouldn't let me touch him for the rest of the day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 171

You deserved it 4 746

Marine1775 14

Monday 3 March 2014 7:59

After I read the first sentence i was thinking something else.

ComoEsJuan 24

Monday 3 March 2014 8:00

You were just saying thanks! Everyone deserves a good hug now and then.

Comments

magickitten 26

Monday 3 March 2014 8:20

I'm sorry......what?

ivydindy13 14

Monday 3 March 2014 9:25

He confused her gesturing towards the exit for an invitation for a hug.

magickitten 26

Tuesday 4 March 2014 1:04

I'm not dull and didn't require patronising, I'm just confused as to how it happened. A gesture to an exit and a gesture for a hug are very different!! This FML needs a follow up....I need to know how this happened. It's hilarious!!

michael666 7

Tuesday 4 March 2014 2:16

sounds like you did

RedPillSucks 31

Tuesday 4 March 2014 3:59

She probably slowly stretched her arm out. two arms == I need a hug. One arm == get the **** out. And he can't count.

karlcolt45 19

Monday 3 March 2014 8:24

well that's a rather unhappy ending

StompinOnCrayons 15

Monday 3 March 2014 8:26

At least she knows you liked the massage

buckdharma 37

Monday 3 March 2014 8:26

Did her next hand gesture clear things up for you?

superlols 2

Monday 3 March 2014 8:42

well that escalated quickly

shhhaaarrron 12

Monday 3 March 2014 8:43

You just wanted to tell her how much you appreciated that massage :)

lux0rd 18

Monday 3 March 2014 8:47

I want to know if OP is male or female.

Gigantomat 9

Monday 3 March 2014 9:39

No "Happy Ending" after all.

badluckalex 23

Monday 3 March 2014 9:53

so she didnt hug you?

krysbell 7

Monday 3 March 2014 9:56

I work in a Day Spa as a Massage and Beauty Therapist, every time someone gives you a hug after a treatment, which is not all that often, it's awkward for all parties involved.

NiceGuysDoWin 21

Monday 3 March 2014 10:16

I guess this all depends on who you are and the "vibe" between therapist and client. I have been getting massages from the same female therapist once or twice a month for 2 years. She greets me with a hug every time I enter the salon, and we hug as I'm leaving. I've had other therapists before her, both men and women. Some I would hug, and some I'd NEVER give a hug to.