Intimacy Today, I got caught masturbating, twice, by the same person....

Anonymous - 28/04/2013 19:53 - Saudi Arabia

Today, I got caught masturbating, twice, by the same person. FML

37 276

75 760

Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

Privacy

Anonymous - 20/07/2019 22:00 - Australia - Brighton

Today, I walked in on my brother masturbating. In the living room. For the second time. FML

2 942

270

Isabell - 06/02/2010 05:31 - Australia

Today, my soon-to-be mother-in-law walked in on me masturbating, in my own house. FML

23 810

5 880

OhGodWhy - 29/12/2016 23:30 - United States - Indianapolis

Today, I caught my coworker masturbating in the bathroom. This was during her shift, while I was mopping the bathroom floors. FML

10 809

888

Knock first

jesus christ, dad - 06/09/2013 16:48 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, for the third time since breakfast, I accidentally walked in on my father wanking. FML

56 945

7 081

You wanker

dinosaucer - 12/10/2011 00:19 - United States

Today, I was accused of masturbating during work. I was actually just getting something out of my pocket. FML

34 332

3 566

So frustratiiiiing

Anonymous - 26/06/2022 12:00

Today, I caught my boyfriend masturbating, again. Meanwhile we haven’t had sex in weeks. FML

1 010

479

GoldenTornado11 - 10/05/2017 14:00

Today, I walked in on my parents having sex. In my room. FML

8 209

570

Rubbing one out on the sly

Anonymous - 05/08/2015 17:56 - United States - Camarillo

Today, I went over to talk to my boss. I must have snuck up on her because she was masturbating through her pants. She stopped and I had to chat away, pretending I didn't notice. FML

28 580

2 463

Next, on The Jerry Springer Show…

DearLord - 03/04/2020 23:00 - Canada

Today, I had to explain to my boss that masturbating in public is inappropriate. This isn't the first time this has taken place. FML

2 099

188

Anonymous - 14/09/2012 05:28 - United States - Fort Lauderdale

Today, I walked in on my mother rubbing one out. For the third time. I then had to explain to her, also for the third time, why pleasuring herself in the living room is inappropriate. FML

42 137

2 801

starflyer59 17

Monday 29 April 2013 1:24

look them in the eye and finish like a boss!

Dcm210 19

Monday 29 April 2013 1:23

You shouldn't be doing it in public anyway.

xluciferx666 21

Thursday 6 November 2014 1:44

As long as it wasn't in a public library you are fine

dreadlocmask 15

Monday 1 June 2015 17:08

Ask them for a hand next time

Sansa_fml 38

Wednesday 9 December 2015 17:35

All in one day?

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I tried to reach out to an old friend. He answered the phone sounding half-asleep, then suddenly switched to an outrageously fake and racist Indian accent, and started yelling nonsense down the phone once I said my name. Guess that bridge is burned, then. FML

320

100

Today, my boyfriend and I exchanged promise rings. I promised that I would stay committed to him and that he was the only one for me. He promised that he would stop seeing other woman behind my back. He wasn't kidding. FML

56 246

5 374

Today, my boyfriend wrecked our car. Now I can't get to work in order to make the money we need to buy a new one. FML

32 618

4 669

Today, I finally figured out what I want to do for the rest of my life. Too bad my tattoos will prevent me from ever getting hired. Guess you were right, Mom. FML

2 031

4 361

Today, my new $100 electronic cigarette came in the mail. I was so excited to try it out, I used it on the drive to work. The people who sold it to me weren't kidding when they said it looked and felt real. I threw it out the window when I was done. FML

12 507

64 318

Today, I had hooked up with this girl and had finally lulled her asleep. I didn't want to stay so I quietly managed to get my clothes back on and get out the door without waking her. I made it all the way out of her building and to my car before I realized I had forgotten my keys. FML

16 375

112 470