Miscellaneous Today, I faked being sick so I could weasel out of a chemistry...

KrazyKill - 09/03/2012 19:04 - Canada

Today, I faked being sick so I could weasel out of a chemistry test at school. Happy that I pulled it off, I posted my accomplishment on Facebook. I forgot that I'm friends with my parents. FML

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St. Patrick's Day: Shamrocks and Tribulations
Green anecdotes of jealousy, full of shamrocks and pints, for a memorable St. Patrick's Day! …

:/ - 01/10/2013 10:18

Today, I purposely set my phone off in class to make it seem like I had friends. FML

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Clout chasing

Anonymous - - Australia

Today, to give the illusion that I have friends, I wrote an outrageous status on Facebook, and then pretended it was the result of a friend hacking my page, all in the hope that it would get comments, likes, or at least some attention. Nothing happened. FML

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lonely - 01/01/2011 17:11 - United States

Today, I posted on my Facebook wall that I'd gotten into a huge bar fight and had the shit kicked out of me, all to avoid having to tell the truth, namely that I'd stayed home all night because nobody invited me out to party. FML

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mathgenius - 08/10/2013 19:17 - Norway - Kolltveit

Today, I passed my math test with flying colors. My dad thought I had cheated, so he emailed the school and told them that I had. They lowered my grade. FML

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goddamn chicken subs - 24/03/2016 16:51 - United States

Today, my brother and I got food poisoning because of the shady chicken subs we ate last night. Our mom thinks we're faking it and sent us to school anyway. I'm coming to you live from a school toilet while missing a test. FML

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Anonymous - 29/11/2009 00:32 - United States

Today, I had to make up a story about my "friends" at school so my mom doesn't keep telling I'm a loser. FML

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NoLife - 15/05/2011 18:49 - United States

Today, I purposely went offline on Facebook chat, just so people would think I actually have a life. FML

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Self report

banana12321 - 02/04/2015 04:40 - United States - Fresno

Today, I thought I had gotten away with throwing a party while my folks were gone the night before. They came home and I was as sweet as possible. I could tell they were not buying it, but I thought I was in the clear. Later, they told me I had drunk-dialled them and spilled the beans. FML

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Covert failure

Anonymous - 18/08/2021 20:01

Today, I failed school and ghosted all my teachers. Nobody knows, but I'm planning on telling my parents in a week. I'm fucked. FML

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Liar !

Anonymous - 14/03/2020 09:00

Today, I lied and told my friends I was a compulsive liar. Well, I think I lied. FML

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Teabubbles 8

Saturday 10 March 2012 2:20

*In Red Forman's voice* "DUMBASS" .

lolololer 8

Saturday 10 March 2012 2:20

did they like your status? :P

xXMudkipNoobXx 7

Saturday 10 March 2012 20:24

Watch out, we got a badass over here.

epokryfky 0

Saturday 10 March 2012 22:26

Moron

desertpunk75 11

Saturday 10 March 2012 22:27

Lol YDI for even adding them. Dumbass

jroxursox1 10

Saturday 10 March 2012 23:25

When you combine elements dumbass with Facebook they cause KABLOOOOOOEEEEE!!!

happilyever2012 6

Sunday 11 March 2012 0:09

Sorry but you're stupid. Seriously.

kjb1234 5

Sunday 11 March 2012 0:31

With all due respect OP.... What the hell is wrong with you?!?! You don't post something like that on Facebook!

BaconBoy75 2

Sunday 11 March 2012 1:12

Dumb ass.

chels1994 11

Sunday 11 March 2012 1:43

Based on that, you probably wouldn't have passed anyway

CommanderBalls 10

Sunday 11 March 2012 3:01

of all the stupid things posted on facebook. you got out of it one day but youd have to make it up anyway.....*facepalm*

scottyrocks123 21

Sunday 11 March 2012 5:01

Your face is in the books isn't it? Dipshit.

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I spent all day organizing a list of electronic parts for my boss. I found the easiest way was to color problem parts in the spreadsheet red and okay parts green. After I finished at the end of the day, I found out my boss is red-green colorblind. FML

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Today, I was making dinner for my family while my wife was at work. She walked in the door with McDonald's, even though she knew I was cooking. Then our kids saw and started screaming that they wanted McDonald's too and that it was unfair. I've told her not to pull this shit and she won't listen. FML

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Today, I was sent home from work early because of structural issues. I walked in on my unemployed boyfriend cuddling another woman on the couch. When I confronted them, he freaked out and kept trying to convince me that I was dreaming. I don't know what I ever saw in this loser. FML

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Today, I walked past a building site near my house, there was a sign saying "WARNING - Beware of the scaffolding". I started laughing at the stupidity of the sign, and walked straight into a metal pole. FML

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Today, I was called a "freeloading parasite" and had a knife pulled on me for being a landlord. I buy land, build small starter homes, and rent or sell them, generally at a significant loss, out of a philanthropic desire to ease the housing shortage. For the gratitude I get, I should just build McMansions. FML

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Today, the police turned up. It turns out the girl I slept with two nights ago was burgled. She told my great aunt, who happens to live next door to her. They then told my grandparents, who then told my mum. I'm now a suspect. FML

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