Intimacy: Today, a technician from my ISP came to my house to replace my...

By je_regrette_tout - 09/03/2013 18:50 - France - Livry-gargan

Today, a technician from my ISP came to my house to replace my router. He asked for a glass of water, one thing led to another, and for some reason I'll never fully understand, we ended up having sex. Looks like porn logic is not so far off the mark after all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 221

You deserved it 66 285

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Same thing different taste

Horny bonk

By debodave - 22/07/2009 20:06 - Germany

Today, I phoned one of the IT guys upstairs for help with my PC. He said it would only take a few minutes; and would just fix it through a direct connection from his computer to mine. Hours later, I was feeling horny, and quickly checked out an adult website. Mr IT Guy was still connected. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 204

You deserved it 69 234

That escalated badly

By Anonymous - 19/03/2020 09:03

Today, a blowjob from my fiancée turned into exchanged oral, which turned into mutual masturbation while watching porn, which then turned into me being kicked out of the room because it was "weird" with me watching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 389

You deserved it 413

Now watching

By Anonymous - 14/01/2011 23:07 - United Kingdom

Today, I came home, turned on my laptop, and turned the TV on mute so I could check my email. My mom came home an hour later, took a look at me on the couch, then the TV, and asked what on earth I was watching. I looked up from my laptop and realized it was porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 795

You deserved it 32 388

How? Why? What?

By Anonymous - 19/09/2022 16:30

Today, in a holiday cottage, I was a little horny so I decided to watch some porn. An hour later, the owner barged in, screaming that I was not to use her internet for such things, that I’m a "loose slut" and that I'm "going to hell". The bitch must somehow have been illegally spying on my internet usage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 741

You deserved it 311

Listen up

By Ryan - 01/09/2022 21:00 - Canada - Quesnel

Today, after getting off the phone with a client, I got horny so I put on some porn and cranked one out. After I'd finished, I realized I hadn't ended the call and neither had my client. They heard everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 282

You deserved it 2 105

Heat of the moment

By English_Nut117 - 30/10/2013 19:17 - Canada - Georgetown

Today, my boyfriend came onto me in a romantic gesture. We ended up having sex, forgetting that the window repair guy was supposed to come today and do some work on our third floor apartment windows. I still don't know how much he saw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 700

You deserved it 15 226

By Anonymous - 10/07/2015 18:19 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was having computer problems, so I let my friend have remote access to fix them. We were video-chatting on Skype at the time, and so he thought it'd be hilarious to load hardcore porn in my browser the moment he saw my mom enter the room from behind me. I'm now grounded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 564

You deserved it 3 425

Tracking

By busted - 05/08/2019 12:00 - United Kingdom - Swansea

Today, I told my mum that the reason I hadn't contacted her for 3 days was that my internet was broken, when in reality I'd gone off for a dirty weekend with the guy I'm having sex with. I forgot my older sister worked for my internet provider. FML

I agree, your life sucks 777

You deserved it 2 716

Fond memory

By best_friend - 25/07/2011 06:43 - United States

Today, I went to my friend's house because his family was having a move away party for him. Everything was going good until his dad decided to give a toast. Including an anecdote about how he walked in on us watching porn together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 607

You deserved it 9 984

By 0h_Boy - 20/04/2016 20:03 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, my wife and I were Skyping, when she decided to put on a "show" for me. Seconds before she was about to climax, we lost internet connection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 931

You deserved it 2 553

Cbizzlez 10

Sunday 10 March 2013 2:27

"Hey can I get a glass of water" "Sure, can I get you anything else?" (**** music starts to play)

SixthSinEnvy 39

Sunday 10 March 2013 2:25

Couldn't pay the bill, huh?

Comments

krapula 4

Sunday 10 March 2013 2:56

What ISP was this? I'd like a job there

Enslaved 36

Sunday 10 March 2013 2:59

Great! ISP are now going to think "Would you care for a glass of water?" Is code for-- Do me baby! Does DSL still stand for-- dick sucking lips?

gc327072 30

Sunday 10 March 2013 5:11

ISP is… InSert Penis…?

p36288 17

Sunday 10 March 2013 3:08

Oh, always seen in **** video. I remember our ISP has strict rules on technician's actions when at clients home. There should be at least two of them came together. Asking the client for anything including such glass of water is not allowed. But if the customer as OP ask for something, i think refuse is really too bad idea...

perdix 29

Sunday 10 March 2013 3:11

The technician asked, "Who do you have to blow to get a drink around here?"

lowshadows 21

Sunday 10 March 2013 3:15

Routers aren't the only thing he fixed lol "All done, thanks for the water." OP: Now, you're done with that I have another problem only you can fix. (music playing: Careless Whisper by George Michaels) Just like that I'm moving to France.