To-Do List Blues By FML Approved - 08/10/2017 21:00 So much to do, so little desire... I agree, your life sucks 443 You deserved it 110 Share Tweet Share
Today, I found out that a female colleague thinks that because I got a vasectomy, I "got my balls chopped off." Then again, this woman also believes the cracks in her front brick fence are because her house is built on the equator. FML I agree, your life sucks 755 You deserved it 111
Today, I was going to have sex for the first time, but when my girlfriend and I got naked, I couldn't get it up. I eventually got hard but it involved me thinking about the time I accidentally saw my girlfriend's brother naked. I think I may be gay. FML I agree, your life sucks 4 579 You deserved it 843
Today, my family decided to break tradition and wake up at midnight to open presents. I didn't find out until I went downstairs to get a glass of water in the middle of the night, and found wrapping paper and empty boxes everywhere. FML I agree, your life sucks 24 241 You deserved it 1 705
Today, while my boyfriend and I were fighting in the car, I paused to take a bite of my burrito. Just at that moment, he slammed on the brakes, causing me to deepthroat my burrito. I threw up all over myself. He won the argument. FML I agree, your life sucks 34 841 You deserved it 8 899
Today, during a date, I discovered that if I cough with my mouth closed, snot will spray from my nose all over the place like some kind of mucus cannon. FML I agree, your life sucks 33 482 You deserved it 6 918
Today, I found my boyfriend passed out on the floor. Then I passed out, due to anxiety of seeing him passed out. FML I agree, your life sucks 29 263 You deserved it 6 184