The Return of the Mullet faux ma - - United States - Winter Park Today, I told the hairdresser that my kid had cut my hair. I don't have kids. I was just really drunk. FML 8 350 33 285
Today, I was trying to take my shirt off. It was an awkward fit, so I had to basically wrestle it for five minutes. The kicker was that I was giving my boyfriend a striptease. He laughed so hard and for so long that we never had sex. FML 28 628 7 950
Today, I burped and sneezed during a job interview, I don’t think they were impressed by my talents. FML 725 253
Today, my girlfriend confessed that she'd leave me for her ex in a heartbeat. Tomorrow is, or should I say "was", our wedding day. FML 39 052 2 408
Today, my boss found out I had applied for a much better paying job. He told me I'd do a better job and make more money there. Then he fired me. FML 15 705 2 340
Today, an Asian man approached me and called me pretty. I thanked him and he asked if I'm Chinese. When I said, "No, I'm Taiwanese" he promptly spat in my face and called me a "traitor to the motherland." FML 6 172 531
Today, my now ex-friend told me she had feelings for my ex and was also choosing him over our friendship, despite being fully aware of the crazy rollercoaster our relationship was and being there to hear every detail of the trauma. She classily told me at random, in a public mall. People suck. FML 2 473 246
Oh the irony...
I hope you hide the scissors the next time you get drunk.