Slip of the tongue

Anonymous - 22/05/2020 23:00

Today, a few army recruiters came to my school to discuss their jobs with us. When asked to say our name and what we wanted to do when we were older, I said I wanted to be a prosecutor. Everyone started laughing. Turns out everyone thought I said prostitute, including the recruiters. FML

1 617

230

The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

IMSERIOUS - 22/01/2014 19:23 - United States - Anaheim

Today, I told my parents I was thinking about joining the army. They looked at each other and laughed for about 10 minutes straight. I wasn't joking. FML

46 018

5 829

AlienZ - 12/04/2009 02:44 - United States

Today, my parents asked if I wanted to go to military school so I said, "Yeah, that would be awesome," thinking it was a joke. They weren't joking. FML

24 263

44 051

apav - 11/06/2009 11:52 - Australia

Today, I had my first appearance in a court as an attorney. I called the prosecution the prostitution. FML

85 922

24 417

Not a good sign

DeepFriedZombie - 09/08/2016 00:18

Today, I went to my first job interview. I didn't think I was doing too badly, until the interviewer said, "Wait a second, you're in high school?" I explained that the guy who'd called me had said that this wouldn't be a problem. I then watched as my interviewer left his desk to "deal" with him. FML

16 101

1 183

Anonymous - 15/07/2019 18:00

Today, I realised the recruiter for the Navy lied to me. This shit ain't fun. FML

894

2 453

Clueless

jobless1 - 05/07/2015 04:04

Today, I went to an important job interview, only to be told I'm not what such a "prestigious" company was looking for. This from a pimply-faced 20-something who took a personal call on speakerphone mid-interview, and actually said "LMAO" out loud at his friend's joke. FML

27 695

2 136

Bee - 08/06/2011 00:13 - Canada

Today, I was mistaken for a prostitute. Twice. While in my work uniform. FML

40 948

8 323

Thanks for coming to my Ted talk

helen_ - 23/04/2009 15:51 - United States

Today, I had to go to my 10 year-old son's school to talk about my job being a chef. As I was almost finished, I asked the kids "What would you like to do when you grow up?" Without hesitation one kid replied with a straight face, "Anything but being a douchebag like you." FML

65 543

6 062

Anonymous - 16/12/2011 05:30 - United States

Today, I talked to my dad about joining the military. He got up, laughed, and said, "As if the army would accept a pussy like you." FML

35 399

6 687

RootyTootToot - 31/08/2018 22:00

Today, I got a call from "No Caller ID", which usually only shows up when someone calls from my house phone. Thinking it was my kids, I answered imitating a cartoon voice. It wasn't my kids. It was the district attorney's office calling about the job I applied for. FML

2 617

1 535

BurnInDemonFire 35

Saturday 23 May 2020 1:24

Just because it made it to the main page today doesn't mean OP posted it today.

s_ve 7

Saturday 23 May 2020 2:08

They have opened back up in some Places

Baby_123 8

Saturday 23 May 2020 0:25

I BUY that, I’m kidding but Dw no one will remember next week

Jasmine Asuzu 2

Saturday 23 May 2020 0:25

Thought schools were closed down...

BurnInDemonFire 35

Saturday 23 May 2020 1:24

Just because it made it to the main page today doesn't mean OP posted it today.

s_ve 7

Saturday 23 May 2020 2:08

They have opened back up in some Places

Kraths 16

Saturday 23 May 2020 18:15

Also some never officially closed or ended their years.

hdisnfjs91 21

Monday 25 May 2020 18:48

Parents could be essential workers.

John Martin 5

Saturday 23 May 2020 8:05

Either way, if you achieve your goal, you’ll be making more money than most of the morons laughing at you. Great convos w any of them later n life. fu@‘em!!